Extra-Marital Affair: Intimacy Issues Response on Ask the Rabbi
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Extra-Marital Affair

I was recently assigned to a long-term project where I had to work long hours with a colleague who is a married man. We slowly grew closer and now we are in a full-fledged affair. I never planned this, but now I want to spend my life with him. He says he is going to leave his wife very soon. Should I wait it out?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You should let the relationship go. Pursuing this relationship (even platonic) will only cause harm to you, to him, and to his spouse.

Infatuation is a romantic feeling that is based purely on physical stimuli. That's what you are experiencing. It is important to understand that infatuation is a temporary state and bears no relation to a real life relationship. You may be missing something in your life at this time and envision that this gentleman can fill this void.

Certainly, he may enjoy the slight flirtation the two of you may be engaging in - if it is a flirtation and not simply the response of a nice guy who has a sense of humor and a nice personality. However, this is not something that would be healthy for you to latch onto or consider pursuing.

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