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Finding a Match

I’ve been doing the singles scene for years and now that I’d like to get married, I realize that my chances of just stumbling upon Mr. Right are quite slim. What’s a good Plan B?

The Aish Rabbi Replies:

You’re right. Meeting dating partners becomes harder the older one gets. Singles bars and parties don't provide many opportunities to meet someone whose goals complement your own.

The best solution is to network. Make a list of your friends, relatives, co-workers, educators, rabbis, and more-than-casual acquaintances. Let the members of your network know the kind or person you would like to date. Prepare a short description of what you’re looking for: your top-3 deal-breakers, as well as 3 key points about yourself. Then ask them to think about someone they can introduce you to.

You can increase your “exposure to the market” (and at the same time enrich yourself on other levels) by getting involved in a community-service activity, adult educational programs, or finding a group outlet for your creative or athletic interests.

Finally, you may want to consider a matchmaker as another source of introductions. A growing number of accomplished, forward-thinking men and women have seen the benefits of modern-day "Yente's." The advantage is that they already know a large pool of eligible people, and they can pre-screen those who are not suitable for you. Ask around for recommendations and make sure you are comfortable with your matchmaker's personal style. You may be asked to pay a nominal registration charge, or even a set fee if the "match" is successful. But if you can achieve results, the payment will be well worth it. One such online version is www.sawyouatsinai.com

Finally, you may want to try one of the on-line dating services, like www.jwed.com or www.jewishdating.com

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