Recent Questions:
Are Parents Responsible for a Child's Actions?
I recently read about some children who were murdered in a rampage. The parents of the victims were blaming the parents of the shooter. I know that parents must teach their kids right and wrong, and are responsible for their actions, but does this responsibility go so far as to make parents responsible for their kids shooting others? If so, how could the parents have prevented it, when they knew nothing about what their child was up to? Or is that part of the problem? Thanks for clarifying this issue.
The Aish Rabbi Replies:
According to the literal law, parents are responsible for their children until the age of Bar/Bat Mitzvah. That is why traditional Jewish parents say at their son's Bar Mitzvah: "Thank you God for releasing me from his punishment!"
That's the legal view. As for the philosophical view, parents are responsible for providing the best possible upbringing – but after that the child is free to choose right from wrong. Which means that the child of abusive parents cannot go out and be abusive and claim he's not responsible.
But does this mean that parents are then totally of the hook? No. They continue to be responsible – though it is separate from a concurrent responsibility that the child has. The Torah says referring to Yaakov (Jacob) and Esav (Esau): "And the lads grew up" (Genesis 25:27). The commentaries point out that this means that they were raised in the same fashion, with the same exact upbringing.
One became Yaakov the tzaddik, while the other became the evil Esav.
Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsh points out that since the personalities of Yaakov and Esav were so different, it was a mistake to raise them the same way. In truth, each one required an entirely different educational program to allow them to integrate their individual characters with Torah. As King Solomon says: "Educate the child according to his [own particular] way, and he will remain on the straight path" (Proverbs 22:6).
Killing Shechem
One story in the Bible has always intrigued me. After the prince of Shechem raped Jacob's daughter Dina, Jacob's sons made a deal to have them all the people of Shechem circumcised. Next thing you know, Simeon and Levi went in and wiped out the city of Shechem. On what basis were they justified in doing so?
The Aish Rabbi Replies:
Thank you for sending your interesting question. This story has unfortunately been misunderstood, and used by haters of Israel to falsely show time type of innate blood-lust.
Maimonides codifies the seven Noahide Laws which are incumbent on all human beings, and whose violators are subject to the death penalty. One of these laws forbids theft, which includes kidnapping. In taking Dinah against her will, Shechem violated this prohibition. Since the seventh Noahide law requires all people to set up court systems to deliver justice, and the people of Shechem did not set up a court system nor bring Shechem to trial, they also became liable to the death penalty. Simeon and Levi, therefore, were enforcing the law that had been ignored by the entire Shechemite population.
The famous Maharal of Prague, writing in "Gur Aryeh," contends that the act of Simeon and Levi was entirely unrelated to the Noahide Laws. He suggests that when a nation is the victims of aggression, they have the right to retaliate against their attackers. In this case, the city-state of Shechem committed an act of aggression against the nation of Israel, so Simeon and Levi had a right to counterattack.
This principle surely is something to think about vis-a-vis security affairs in Israel today.
Get Document - Technical Requirements
I am getting divorced and need to order a Get document. Is there something online available for download?
The Aish Rabbi Replies:
A Get must be written in a very specific way, and only under the supervision of an expert rabbi who is well-versed in these laws. For example, the Get must be written specifically for this couple, and a pre-printed document cannot be used. There are other complex factors as well, including the type of people who must witness the giving of the Get, and precise formulas for the spelling of words and names. All of this must be done properly, or else the couple is still considered as if fully married.
The Get document is written by a trained scribe (sofer). It contains 12 lines of text, written in Aramaic which was the vernacular during Talmudic times. The text states the location, man’s and woman’s names, and a brief pronouncement that the woman is now free to remarry. The man hands the Get to the woman, in the presence of two authorized witnesses. There are no prayers or blessings involved. The entire proceeding normally takes about an hour, and usually takes place in the rabbi's office.
In situations where direct contact between the husband and wife would be difficult (due to either geographic constraints or emotional displeasure), the process can be done via proxy.
The Get document itself remains in the files of the officiating rabbi, and is torn so that it cannot be used again. The rabbi issues a certificate of proof to both parties, attesting to the fact that a Get was properly drawn up, delivered and accepted, and that each party is free to remarry.
A Get can be arranged at any subsequent time, even years later. Nevertheless, from the standpoint of Jewish law and as a practical matter, it should be done as soon as possible.
For assistance in arranging a proper Jewish divorce, go to kayama.org.
