Salomon Says: When Kids Curse

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Published: December 24, 2005

Visitor Comments: 11

(11) arnellburnell@yahoo.com, June 28, 2008 8:41 AM

the way it is

again ,here we are in a position that goes back since the begining of time.we as humans,civilation,what ever you would like to call it have cursed since cavemen dragged their wives around by the hair.one school trying to make an example is not going to carry a lot of weight.first off,almost everything in life always goes back to money,some of the wealthiest people I know curse 100 times a day,so if they fine the kids,who suffers ?johnny's dad, who is a vice-president of company,who will give him the $ to pay the fine, will be cussin'while he's doing it.suzie's dad who is barley gettin by on 300 dollar a week job will be cussin while givin it to her -and on top of that they will go without something they need that week because of the stupid fine.so the poor suffers. bottom line if they dont cuss while they are there,as soon as they get in a vehicle the first cd they put in will start out with a least 5 curse words(which our freedom of speech in this country grants them the right)and it just stems from a chain of command that started way before any of our time,so don't think anybody is going to "fix"the curse problem soon-dont we have bigger fish to fry-get real people.

(10) Fernando Ocumare, August 15, 2007 1:56 AM

MY KIDS; MY MIRROR

Our kids are a reflexion of who we are. They behave based on the perception that they have of us. The better this perception the better the outcome...

Fernando Ocumare

(9) bnolen, August 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Someone needs to do it.

If the parents are not teaching the kids to not curse, something needs to be done. There is an epidemic of lack of respect, for themselves or anyone else, shown by many children today, and one way this has manifest itself is cursing. Perhaps this will bring the subject to the forefronts of parent's minds, so they will deal with this issue properly. In the past, we used to be terrified if neighbors saw us do something wrong. Now, no one cares (they have their own problems).

(8) Vicky, January 14, 2006 12:00 AM

Perhaps the consequences have been good and taken care of this particular situation. But I do not agree with policing students like this, even if the intentions are to help them clean their mouths. I don't really think this is a violation of freedom of speech, yet it could lead to a violaton of human rights. What will kids be fined for next? Not doing their homework? Breaking curfew? Yelling at their parents? Talking in class? These are all things kids do that should stop, so why not fine kids who do that as well? Why won't people think its okay to do that, if it's okay to fine kids for cursing? Where do you draw the line?

(7) Rochel, January 4, 2006 12:00 AM

temporary solution

policing students can only be a temporary solution, but it can be an efficient way to get their attention and make short term change.

I think work has to be done to show the children personally that it is not to their advantage to curse, that the are actually damaging themselves and losing out by it--and then the behavior will become their choice and not an imposed one. One who curses should be looked at with pity or other stigmatic way to make copying them less attractive.

They need to see examples of people they can admire and look up to who regard cursing negatively. They need to be praised and socially rewarded for strides in improving what is really only a thoughtless bad habit.

Perhaps they need to be taught other outlets for the feelings which are less offensive--maybe enriched vocabularies. With humor, kids can express themselves in nonoffensive words.
I think this program could be made even more meaningful by showing them how the tools that bring success in controlling our words can be used in many other areas of life to refine ourselves, to become the holy nation that Hashem wants and expects us to be

(6) Anonymous, January 1, 2006 12:00 AM

policing student's language skills?

of course!
when things get that bad, so should the measures with which we deal with them, isn't that what 'measure for measure' means? an eye for an eye? not literally an eye, but measure for measure!
we live in a non-Jewish area, and am having this issue and more, not with students but with my son's 30 year old teacher! so far we've succeeded in removing her from having student contact... and that's a tough thing to do in Socialist School System of Canada!
we'll see what happens next week when kids go back to school and maybe the Teacher's Federation will force us to have her back in class.
Do I think a school should expel students for cursing? again, measure for measure... just how long must we put up with cursing or bullying?

(5) Elise Abecassis, December 30, 2005 12:00 AM

This is a question re. Rabbi Solomon's video on cursing

Do you think a school should expell a student for cursing?

(4) Amanda, December 29, 2005 12:00 AM

Kids & Cursing

I think policing kids who curse is an excellent idea. I know kids are influenced by those around them, but the sooner they understand that certain things are offensive, the better. I had a teacher that had a put-down jar in the classroom that was used anytime someone cussed a classmate out or was otherwise rude, and it worked! :)Even though i'm not a parent, I think kids that are made to own up to their mistakes turn out to be better citizens.

(3) Myriam P Gray, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM

I agree totally.

Cursing was not a problem when I went to school (I'm 65)neither from teachers nor students. Please keep us updated with the results; I'm just waiting for the parents and ACLU to cause a commotion - I want to know the whole story. You know, as with Paul Harvey, let us hear the whole story.

(2) Aaron, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM

Nice idea but will breed animosity.

I am sure when parents heard this idea they thought, "wonderful, its about time someone did something about this". Well I am not a child (I am 25) but I assure that this will breed animosity in a large number of the students. I think that the beuty of clean speech should be stressed and maybe even a prize for those mwho abstain from cursing introduced. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT!

(1) modem, December 25, 2005 12:00 AM

The colleague of your friend says :)

Hallo, I am Daniela's modem. She is (let it remain a secret) a computer idiot, although she thinks she's very skilled. And she has 56k connection! Can you believe it? Anyway... what about providing a transcript of the multimedia content? I can't take any more abuse! She browses the site checking out the summary for multimedia content, and then, she actually downloads this stuff during the nights or when they go out of the house, leaving the phone on for hours! And if you want to reach those people, better get their cellphone number! Please please please help a poor slave of an insane family!!! I've been wanting to write this for ages, but I was afraid you'd advise her to trash me and get broadband... but now that I see you are a tiny bit sympathetic to old modems.... I found the chutzpah!

Happy Hanukkah and big cheers to my colleague!
Modem

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

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Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

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