Is It Possible...

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Published: August 25, 2007

Visitor Comments: 12

(12) Anonymous, August 31, 2007 4:57 PM

What about the parents that gave us life out of sin

Hi Lori. In honoring parents "because they gave us life:" When I was a child, my logic was "why should I honor my parents when I didn't ask for life? I thought, "Why should I honor someone who was just "having a good time?" Or, "For doing something that THEY wanted, not what I wanted?" So how would I answer these questions to a generation that thinks like this? Though I made such claims in my heart and discussed such with my siblings, we all honored them nonetheless...when we got older. Of course now, I can agree with your position.

Kol tov

(11) Dovid Herzl Lipkin, August 31, 2007 3:47 PM

Thanks

Dear Lori,

Thank you so much for your videos which I look forward to every week. I even send them my rabbi who, by the way has family in Toronto, in order to help him with his sermons :-)

Good Shabbos,

Dovid

(10) Sarah, August 31, 2007 9:35 AM

It works!

Lori- I always used to teach this to my 5th grade students but I never thought of using it on MY sometimes difficult parents....I'm married and have a child but my parents are very needy and put lots of pressure on me.

I tried the magic words on them and ...it's worked so far :)

(9) Judith Zahavi, August 30, 2007 10:25 PM

Is it possible?

Dear Laurie,
recently we have tried EVERYTHING with our son - because he is always saying "no" to us. I told him about your video and taught him your magic words. So far, so good. He wanted to do something and asked me, "Mama is it possible that blow the shofar one more time?" (After blowing it twice already at Hebrew School.) It made me think about every time I say "no" to him and I said it wa sok. He blew his shofar one more time for the class and then he had finished.
He is 6 years old by the way....... and I love your advice. It worked.
Thank You Laurie!

(8) Ruth Housman, August 28, 2007 4:18 PM

is it possible

Is it possible that some parents never wanted to give life to their children and these children are very much aware of this, so their entire lives are spent trying to come to terms with this burden? As a psychiatric social worker I have encountered such sorrow and such child abuse of egregious proportions. So I am not sure about all of this and I have a lot to think about here.

I do think there is such sorrow in life occasioned by people who probably never intended to be parents and also by their very own lives, fraught with a culture of indifference. Neglect is the worst kind of abuse.

So yes and no, Laurie. There is something very beautiful about the celebration of life and of the force that gives life. Sadly, I am not sure everything else we as parents do, and give is "over the top".
I am just not sure. Thank you for giving me something deep to ponder.

(7) Tamara, August 28, 2007 3:44 PM

what about abuse?

Over a decade ago my mother in law bad mouthed me because we would not buy out a life insurance policy she had on herself for a million dollars. For one we could not afford the premium. And secondly there is a trust fund in her children's name that could cover it as well as numerous other investments. To tell me that God says I can't say no to my mother in law, who the only words spoken to me are berating and commanding negates life.

(6) Yisroel Pollack, August 28, 2007 12:43 PM

Gratitude and Appreciation

Mrs. Palatnik, tch"y

What you say is, as always, very sweet and very moving. And how you say it is extremely affecting. But is it really so that parents don't owe their children anything? A parent who has brought a child into the world and has, as you so aptly put it, given it life is duty-bound to see to it that the child survives and thrives. There are open halachos regarding the duration for which the father is obligated to materially support his child; and beyond material support he is enjoined to teach his son Torah or see to it that the child is taught Torah. And their are other requirements besides. In addition, the Creator makes it so that the need to nurture the child is felt naturally and indulged in lovingly. Still, your point is very well taken that, in terms of gratitude and appreciation, it is all a one-way street frunning from child to parent. In that sense, the child does indeed owe the parent EVERYTHING, while the parent incurs no counter-obligation in return. And for bringing this out in so touching a way I am very much in your debt. May the Ribono Shel Olam bench me, and those of us who are in a similarly situated (i.e., in singledom), to marry and have children for the glaring glory of all of Israel.

YP of Brooklyn

(5) Fr Dominic Borg,ocd, August 28, 2007 9:45 AM

Excellent !!!

I am honoured to listen to Lori Palatnik talks on these clips. I have shown them to my Catholic friends, and THEY ALL had positive comments on her charismatic talks. Thanks a million !!

(4) Annette, August 27, 2007 7:56 AM

Excellent! well put

We need more info on this topic! how about 7 more live ones on this one! and not vaguely stated

(3) Rosen, August 26, 2007 10:44 PM

giving back to your parents

Thanks for another video feed, Lori. It is so true that we owe thanks and give back to our parents after they gave us life and raised us. So, there is no reason not to honor them. For instance, my folks made me work for my money growing up doing chores around the house and outside in the yard, as opposed to earning a weekly/monthly allowance. When they do give me money, I do my best to pay them back. Indeed, it is better to maintain one's keep and share of the household responsibility with his/her parents, and not take advantage of them by "mooching".

(2) Phil, August 26, 2007 4:18 PM

Do we owe our kids?

Very nice! I hope to implement this idea in my family very soon.
A question: How do we know that the mitzvah of honoring parents is related to 'owing' our parents anything? And how do we know that teaching our children (v'shinanatem l'vanecha) is *not* related to owing our children anything.

(1) George Ben Miller, August 26, 2007 9:50 AM

Lori is a great inspiration.....

B"H.., L'Shanah Tova....

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

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Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Is It Possible...

How to get your parents to do what you want.

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