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Published:
December 30, 2007
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The Burning Bush
God only gives you the things you can handle.
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Visitor Comments: 49
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About the Author
Mrs. Lori Palatnik
Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.
Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive
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(49) Chavah, January 25, 2008 11:39 PM
Thank you Lori
This message came at a time when your words were the perfect solace for me and I felt very much like your friend. Thank you for your words of encouragement , insight, and wisdom. You are helping more people than you know
(48) Candy, January 18, 2008 11:43 AM
The point is
Outside a covenant relationship with
G-d we have no promise. but we are assured that in that covenant "all things work together for good' G-d is working in all circumstances for our good and His glory. He will even lead us to those who can help us. If we trust in Him we can know we WILL get through it. We may not understand, it WILL hurt, but we Will come out on the other side. As we each look back over our lives we all can see at some point that it was Him that got us through because certainly it was nothing in us.
(47) Anonymous, January 12, 2008 10:43 AM
trite or not?
Sometimes we need that extra word to realize that we can handle it. But most people when they are reeling from a major blow, at the start, who feel that they are drowning, do not need someone on the beach to tell them to swim. They need a life jacket. After they are swimming to shore, once they feel a bit more in control, then someone else IN THE WATER can say: Yes, I am also almost drowing, but I learned to swim.
And sometimes it is NOT in the ability of the person to handle something. When that happens, the situation becomes a challenge to the COMMUNITY: Will you help this person, or not?
I have had three major challenges, and Once I told a rebbitzen: I get so sick of people telling me how well I am "handling it". Sometimes I wish I could SCREAM that I didn't want this. She said: "To 'accept suffering'doesn't mean saying 'Thanks G-d, this is great', but not to kick back in anger. That is enough."
(46) RW, January 9, 2008 10:46 AM
After reading the comments to date, I noticed that only 4 individuals pointed to what they believed were trite and oversimplified comments (i.e. "You can do it..."). And so my words are directed to Numbers: 11-- Rachel J., 14 -- Anonymous, 33 -- Trite and 34 -- Jerold Landau. I would like to validate your thoughts.
As a professional who works with individuals who are contending with varied challenges and struggles, I can vouch for the emotional pain that confronts these people on a daily basis. I also can vouch for the difference in how they "handled" their days before they gained effective tools and once they learned newer ways of "handling" their challenges. At the outset, when these people first acknowledged how intense or overwhelming their challenges were, that was not the appropriate time for them to hear encouraging words that come across as a cheering squad. They needed validation for their pain and for the difficulty of their struggles. They required someone safe to listen carefully to what they were going through.
The point I'm getting at is that the level and intensity of an individual's challenges and struggles has everything to do with whether or not that person is able to "hear" upbeat and inspirational words at that particular point in time. Let's take someone who has lived through various types of abuse throughout his/her life and may even be living in a current abusive relationship. For some people, and especially if they are very sensitive, hearing words that sound like a cheering squad can be perceived as trite and painful. And even if the individual is getting professional help, healing is a process and it takes time. And until such time that a person has reached a heallthy level, some inspirational words can come across as trite and oversimplified, therefore appearing to be insensitive to the person's plight. Perhaps if Lori had thrown into the mix a qualifying statement, the message might have come across in a more empathetic way. Just my humble opinion.
(45) Anonymous, January 9, 2008 10:30 AM
Fly in the ointment
What bothers me about this explanation is, in a worst-case scenario where one's child dies, saying you weren't given more than you can handle only goes so far. What about the child? Wasn't the child given more than he or she could handle, since the child did in fact die? I would hate to think that G-d is using the untimely death of a child to make the parents stronger.