Last Requests

The death of the Prince of Pringle's.

See More

Comments (32)

(32) Anonymous, June 21, 2008 4:21 PM

A Request is only a request.

I agree with the Rabbi, we should be more respectful and thought-full when following or doing a person's last request. And after all, it can only be requested, it cannot be enforced. I cannot force someone to do what I want after I die. Likewise I cannot be forced to put a bowling ball on a grave or put someone's ashes into a Pringle's can - I am choosing to follow the request. So not only does it say something about the deceased when the last request is honored, it says something about the friends and family that honored the request. Was I so foolish as to do anything my friend or family member asked me to do while they were alive? Why should I be so foolish as to do so now they are dead?!!

(31) Sheila Halet, June 20, 2008 11:08 AM

Very Interesting

Thanks for the information!!! Nice video - Dr. and Shabbat Shalom

(30) Samuel Shultz, June 20, 2008 5:13 AM

Be buried the proper way

I am a conservative Jew who is converting to Orthodox Judaism. (I am converting because my mother who wasn't not born Jewish converted to Conservative Judaism). I agree with u 100%. I myself would like to be buried in either Boston, my hometown or Jerusalem my favorite town.

(29) Anonymous, June 19, 2008 12:03 PM

Last Requests Should Be Holy

My mother has told me for many years that when she passes, may it not be for years to come, she would like a roulette wheel on her grave so that people can spin it when they go to visit her. Every single time, I have told her absolutely not because I love her too much to reduce her life to a game of chance. As Jews, we know that all of our lives are intricately woven in a masterpiece tapestry that only Hashem can see.

What I have seen that I do like is a slideshow of pictures of the deceased person right on the gravestone. That is a beautiful way to commemorate them and give people an idea of who they really were, rather than a hobby they had.

(28) hersh, June 19, 2008 10:40 AM

to francile

look in the laws of mourners it says all the laws regarding what we do after a person passes away. We have to treat the dead with the utmost respect. our bodys dont belong to us. They belong to g-d. so my freind respect your self,respect your neighbor and most of all respect G-D.

(27) Eli Cohen, June 19, 2008 9:23 AM

The main thing is the lesson

Yankel, It's clear that you didn't mean to say these goyim did an aveira because they only have 7 mitzvas.
The point is that these people connected to their hobbies and achievements and thought that by being buried with the pringles can or bowling ball, it will somehow keep them connected to what they were "moiser nefesh" for. It reflects on what had they meaning in their lives.
For Yidden it is important to know that we have to strive to do Hashem's will 24/7 and thus the way Hashem wants us to be buried will be our desire as well.

(26) yaakov, June 18, 2008 7:54 PM

ithink that if you ask for it you sho7uld getit

(25) Anonymous, June 18, 2008 2:16 PM

honoring last wishes

So halachicly can I change a parent's burial site from Israel to the USA The whole family is here and we can visit much more frequently. I'd rather have him near my mother instead of his 2nd wife.
forget the Pringles break out the Filet Mignon......

(24) Kevin, June 18, 2008 10:56 AM

Got me thinking

It really got me thinking my father allways says that he would like to be cremated, for me i have never taught on what happens when i die.Been a none jew i would porperly like to properly convert and have my last moment in isreal

(23) Jonathan Shopiro, June 18, 2008 8:08 AM

I'm glad you don't run our government

If you would so blithely override a person's last requests what freedoms would we have left, if you were in charge?

(22) Francile, June 17, 2008 7:56 PM

per Hersh (#4)comment, where is it in Torah?

Thank you.

(21) Mensch59, June 17, 2008 7:41 PM

Good friends and good food

my only request is that there be a good meal in my home after my buriel. It will be catered by a favorite restaurant with delicious briskit and kugel. Let there be a pleasant taste in their mouth to stimulate nice conversation and a little joy and laughter with good people, just as I tried to live my life. Shiva should be a time to recall good things. Memories of a good kugel may bring good memories of me.

(20) Rosen, June 17, 2008 5:23 PM

rocket funerals?

While cremation is forbidden in the Torah, is placing the remains of a body into a rocket ship to launch into space halachically ethical? It's not the same as cremations and the body gets launched into the heavens or space. Plus, I hear it is actually less expensive than burials on earth. If not, then perhaps the only ethical way is earthly burial, and to help afford it, one ought to have good life or whole life insurance.

(19) Abe Lindner, June 17, 2008 4:15 PM

My last request...

For my last request...I want some time to change my mind and maybe come up with some new last requests. No reason to be in such a hurry!

(18) David, June 17, 2008 1:36 PM

Preaching to the choir

Rabbi,
Respectfully, I don't understand the point of the blog. To say "I think it's wrong" is kind of beside the point. It's halachically forbidden. Nobody who accepts the binding nature of halacha would make the request, and nobody who DOESN'T accept the binding nature of halacha will be convinced to alter his last request because you "think it's wrong."

Furthermore, another poster brought up a good point. If those involved were not Jewish, is it forbidden?

All the best,

David C.
Houston

(17) Chaya, June 17, 2008 1:29 PM

My Last Request

For what it's worth, I would like kaddish to be said for me round the world 24/7 for a full 12 months so that I will be spared the tortures of Gehinnom.

I don't think it's wrong to have a bowling ball placed on ones grave if that's what the person truly wants, I think it's sad.

We get real serious when it comes to death. We should start getting serious about our lives.

(16) Devorah, June 17, 2008 12:22 PM

what they lived for

THese lived to bowl...that one lived to make little containers...What he could only have done had he only realized what many of the rest of us readers do: that we are ourselves containers for a very holy soul, a part of Hashem Himself, and because of that, while alive we are enrusted to treat our bodies with care and respect. A container - a vessel...there was once a seafaring vessel - a glorious ship used, I think, in the very fledgeling days of the US navy a couple of hundred years ago. When this vessel was no longer seaworthy, it was not ripped apart and thrown into a bonfire. With great respect and reverence, its former bows were rebuilt into a fine desk for no less than the president of the United States. And this Pringles fellow - an accomplished scientist -had the choice of taking the vessel of his soul and humbly returning it to its source in the best condition he could manage, or turning it into ash and stuffing it into a greasy food container! TH echoice is clear to me, although the question of honoring last requests is really a sticky one. obviously, what can one do if it's not a last request that can harm others?? So, we must, while we can, work on designing for ourselves and those close to us a plan that honors ourselves and our CREATOR while alive, and after as well.
So, that's that. I think I'll get back to work and grab a few Pring...never mind, I lost my appetite!!! (Moral: Always check the inside of a Pringles can before you reach inside!)

(15) Anonymous, June 17, 2008 11:30 AM

Your video is quite important. When someone in our family passed away, she too, requested cremeation. There was much discussion about and opposition to this. One of us wanted to bury her, the other wanted to honor her wishes. However, when we were advised by a Rabbi, who thought he was doing his best at the time, to honor this person's wishes, we did so. To this day, I still regret that this person was cremeated.

(14) Jay, June 17, 2008 11:30 AM

Life is fir the living

Although I appreciate the importance of last requests, my last concerns are for those I leave behind who may have to live with the consequences of my last request. I asked to be buried in a plain pine box wearing my tallit, kipah and a shroud.

(13) Daniela, June 17, 2008 11:16 AM

Isn't this a bit judgmental ?

Should we really be that concerned about what goyim do ? Like someone said, there's nothing in the Noahide Laws that have anything to do with burial.

(12) Ester, June 17, 2008 10:01 AM

Dear Carol

I can understand your feelings, but let's be rational, for the sake of others who might be in a similar dilema. After death, the body doesn't feel anything. Only the soul exists, and the only pain it feels is regret and shame over neglecting G-d's commandments. I'm sure you did what you thought was best for your husband, but in such cases we should consult a competent rabbi. May you be comforted among the mourners of Zion.

(11) carol, June 17, 2008 8:03 AM

My husband wanted to be cremated and this was upsetting to me at first. When he reminded me that it was HIS last wish and many relatives that had traditional burials were flooded out at their cemetery, dug up by small animals, vandalized for no reason,I realized his fears and thought how selfish i would be if i had't granted his last and one of very few requests of me over 42 years of marriage.It was my last gift to him and i have no regrets.

(10) Imanonov, June 17, 2008 6:09 AM

Grave matters

You remind me of the tombstone of a dentist: This is the last hole he filled

(9) judy, June 17, 2008 6:02 AM

why?

why not?
(the thought of cremation is kinda repulsive to me, but for someone who does not think/feel/believe as we do...why not? something more to think about.)
btw...wonder if at least there some pringles in the can...maybe barbeque ones

(8) hersh, June 16, 2008 11:00 PM

If you burn it you will burn

Hi Beverly
Its wrong because the torah teaches us not to do it. The author of the torah is G-D. So G-D told us not to do it. We do as G-D commands.Thats what we are here on this world to do.(besides for eating icecream)

(7) Stuart, June 16, 2008 8:35 PM

Assuming the good doctor and the bowlers are gentiles, I don't recall the seven Noahide laws placing restrictions on burial.

More important than these folks last requests are how they lived their lives. Were they good people, did they help others, did they bring others closer to Hashem? While I may think the Pringles can or the bowling balls are silly, I don't understand why this is an important question.

(6) Dvirah, June 16, 2008 9:28 AM

Last Requests

A person's last request usually reflects that which he/she wants most to be remembered for: that which he/she considered his/her greatest achievement or most outstanding characteristic. It may seem trivial to you or me (for example, bowling is "only" a game), but it is important to the person making the request. In this case I think their judgement (or fancy) should be honored. Of course, if a Jew is requesting something not halachic, a Rabbi should be consulted and it may not be proper or possible to aceed to the request, but I don't think our personal judgements about what's important should dominate that of the dying person's.

(5) Beverly Kurtin, June 16, 2008 9:01 AM

I'm not argumentative in asking this, but why is cremation wrong?

(4) hersh, June 15, 2008 11:27 PM

Those pringles look tasty. But you need a drink with them! im going out now and buying some.Thank you

(3) Jonathan Ottenstein, June 15, 2008 9:48 PM

Final request

My final request is to be buried in eretz yisroel. Isn't that something to be honored.

(2) liebe spitzer, June 15, 2008 2:39 PM

pringles

Hi Dr! It's me, Liebe Spitzer remember me? All is well B"H.
It's so good to see (and hear) you again!
P.S. In case you were wondering I have jnet filtering on my web access. Kosher Krafts has a web site www.kosherkrafts.com
Much hatzlocha to you!

(1) ross, June 15, 2008 7:54 AM

Hmmm...Good point...

Oh, well. There goes the Beatles album cover idea.

 

Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.


  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment
stub

Receive the Aish.com Weekly Email

Sign up to our Aish Weekly Update Jewsletter.

Our privacy policy