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Parents in Movies
Lori Almost Live

Parents in Movies

Are they going to be dead or divorced?

by

Published: February 21, 2009


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Visitor Comments: 47

(47) Anonymous, July 13, 2009 2:16 PM

Mrs. Palatnik, It offends me that you say that a family with a deceased mother is not a family. I am 18, and my mother recently died. Yet we are still a family. My parents had a long, 30 year relationship that was mostly happy. And even though I had her for 18 years, my sister 17, and my brother over 30, her impact on us is and was profound. I know that your focus was mainly on divorce, but death of a parent is nothing to laugh about and totally in G-d's hands. I pray that with G-d's help, my sister, father, and I will regroup into a new sort of family. No, it's not the same AT ALL without her, but my beloved imah would not want us to sulk around, fragmented. I don't think my father will remarry, but regardless, I think that we can still become a new sort of beseder - in order, all right.

(46) Haddassah, July 11, 2009 6:24 PM

Truly Blessed

Lori, I would like to tell you, with no small amount of joy and thankfulness, that my parents have been married for nearly 30 years. From their loving example, I can see how God intended things to be. Or, I can see almost how their supposed to be. Their closest friends, and mine as well, are also still married after many years. God has blessed His servants in this case, and I honestly believe that I have learned how to keep it together when its hard. I have also noticed what your children noticed. It IS hard to find a family film! From Disney, I highly recommend "Mulan", in spite of the running gag made on the Chinese beliefs about their ancestors. The whole point of the movie is a daughter trying to honor her father--come what may. Her mother is portrayed as being loving and supportive as well, and even her grandmother is involved! It became an instant favorite for me. They say that when the bards lose it, the rest of the culture will follow. Looking at our modern "bards", I cannot help but agree.

(45) Anonymous, March 1, 2009 9:13 PM

response to "Parents in Movies"

Lori, I look forward to your inspiring and thought provoking discussions. This time however I was left wondering where to take this information to learn and grow in a positive way. Many divorced parents, myself included, lived in a time when we were not connected to Judaism spiritually and now want nothing more than to have Hashem grant us the opportunity to have the chance for a second marriage and live in a Torah loving home. For me, I feel it is the only way forward for my son to see the love and mercy Hashem has for us in the most tangible way possible. To see his Mother rewarded and blessed with a sound happy marriage. This for me is the best way to ensure at the very least, a Torah environment and hands on Jewish education for IY"H my child and grandchildren to come. If Hashem wills it I will try to do this on my own but it would not be the same thing. Make no mistake, many of us who misguidedly ended up with broken marriages know at the deepest level that their children will never be free of the repercussions.I am very aware of the staggering statistics of how many of us fell prey to this sad state of affairs. The problem for me,now in the midlife stage is... shidduchim. It is a crisis for all ages and for me it is no exception. I would love to speak to you more on this subject and hope you are able to email me. I live in Toronto, very near to where you yourself once lived. Thank you for all you do Lori. Your almost live segments are very important to me, it feels as though I am learning how to live a Torah life with a personal acquaintance.

(44) sisi, February 28, 2009 9:24 AM

Lori, have you ever read a book?

This has been a running discussion about children's literature and movies.Lori, pick up Anne of Green Gables (orphan), Oliver Twist (orphan), Lord of the Rings (orphan), Harry Potter (orphan). I could go on and on but the child heroes and heroines of nearly every fairy tale and children's novel is an ORPHAN! Occasionally the parents are missing due to other circumstances. This is a literary tool to "free" the child from the normal constraints of parents and family and is often the reason for their journey or odyssey. IN the end what the heroes of these story are looking for (in addition to learning magic, defeating an enemy etc....) is a family. Harry Potter finds one in his friends/teachers at Hogwarts. Anne Shirley finds one in the Cuthberts. Oliver Twist finds it in a pair of sisters. There is a fantasy element of these children having nothing to lose b/c the most important thing in their lives, their moms and dads, are gone. LORI, Take your kids to a library and read them some classic children's literature. Whether its L.M Montogomery or C.S. Lewis or Lemony Snicket interest them in something other than the Disneyfied world of singing animals. Certainly you can see that Disney is using the same tools writers have use to engage children for centuries, albeit in a less intelligent way. These stories are fantasy and have nothing to do with the current state of todays society yadda yadda. They are the writers way of sending the children on an adventure. Even a child can see that having your parents worrying about you at home lessens the adventure and probably keeps you from going on that adventure in the first place. But if you have nothing to lose then why not? Usually these stories are about the kids going to find their families, or some substitute for the love they are denied. If along the way they need to go to Mordor to extinguish a ring or fall through to the other side of a coat closet into another world then so be it.

(43) Olina, February 27, 2009 5:51 PM

The blessing of a broken home

Lori, I have never really noticed how much children's movies promote/reflect broken family units. It is sad, but I would like to point out that step parents and foster parents can be good role models. It is better for a child to be in a blended, happy family than to live in a home with constant conflict and/or abuse. My mom was brave enough to leave my dad when I was a small child because she didn't want me to grow up thinking physical abuse is normal. I now live in a blended family and love my step dad very much. So please consider all angles of split homes before you label them all as being sad cases or bad examples to children.

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