Published:
June 6, 2009
Jewish Convert to Islam
Why couldn't she find what she was looking for in Judaism?
by Mrs. Lori PalatnikVisitor Comments: 61
(55) Allie, June 18, 2009 4:17 PM
I agree w/ #29
(54) Josh, June 17, 2009 1:44 AM
She will not remain a "renegado" for long.
The essential message is indeed: had authentic Judaism been more obvious to her, she would not have fallen in with another religion.
She''s seems to be a smart - but foolish and naive - young girl who doesn''t know much about Judaism *or* authentic Muhammadanism (i.e. what''s not taught in Middle East Studies classes at UC Berkeley).
She''ll go on marry a strict Moslem man, and the first time he hits her, the Berkeley liberal inside her will lash out and make a stand.
She will realize she doesn''t belong in a 1400 year-old women-degrading and anti-Semitic cult. She may not make her way back to Hashem, but she will realize she made a tumble in joining Mohammedanism.
(53) alex, June 15, 2009 1:33 PM
Responsibility
It is refreshing for once to hear some-one ask: where did we fail her? Mostly I hear blame for everyone, but our-selves. Do we live the message, in spirit or in action? Do we only stand for a belief system and its preser-vation, or is it here to serve and nurture us to own more of our lives? Who are our teachers, and what do they actually know? Are they just parrots of information (do as I say, not as I do)? The great ones, R' Noah, the Rebbe etc.. had the ability to energize others to be alive in their own lives, and that is what I believe the Torah is teaching us. This girl's life wasn't incandesced by any Jewish light, and she had to seek it elsewhere.
(52) Metatron, June 15, 2009 12:33 PM
free to find
(51) Andy, June 15, 2009 10:32 AM
sad to see /hear a convert that has no clue what they are rejecting
When one is is well educated in their faith and brought up experiencing the beauty and joy in a Jewish, Christian, Moslem,etc home stops practicing their faith or converts to another it is often troubling for those that remain. It seems to me that there is a sense of both the group failing in its obligation and of a betrayal by the individual. One is entitled to search for truth, and if that takes one outside their own religion I have no problem provided they are truly searching for truth and that they have seriously explored the heritage they were born into. Judaism believes it is not accidental one is born into a tradition. There is a reason even if it is to eventually grow to leave it behind as did our father Abraham. For the vast majority of Jews in America today they leave without knowledge and what knowledge they have of Judaism is often mistaken. Firstly religious Jews who take Torah seriously need to be models in areas where non observant Jews see them. What comes to mind are in the business community and supporting causes that directly benefit mankind in general. That to me is essential. If Orthodox Jews are seen as producing citizens whose ethics are shown to be at best average why will one choose to go thru the huge changes that observance demands? We can and must do better. Along with an emphasis on Mussar organizations such as Aish,NJOP, Chabad etc need to be supported by all who are able. In my opinion it's the 21st century challenge. Every minute of every day things are happening that we as individuals and as a community can influence. To be or not to be etc etc
(50) shoshana, June 14, 2009 12:34 PM
there are more desterbing reasons why this girl converted
It is sad that this girl could not find Jewish traditions/value in her own religion and found it is Islam, which is ironic because of all the hatred Moslems feel (not all them)towards Jews. However, there are other reasons why this girl wanted to covert to Islam. The universities, especially Berkley, have been very anti semetic/Israel. People have been more socially accepted if they are pro-Moslem, even convert, than pro-Israel. I have heard things that professors teach their students that are very desterming about Israel and Judaism. If this girl became Orthodox and Zioninist the students would reject her. So this girl loves the fact that she is welcomed by other people and made more friends. This is a serious problem that something needs to be done because there are more and more Jews on college campuses are being turned off from Judiasm every day.
(49) Jewgirl, June 14, 2009 5:07 AM
How very sad....
for this girl to sell her birthright. Jews need to change in the US, Rabbi's need to reach out to the young so this will not happen. Most important Jiddishkeit comes from the home, keep Shabbat then you open the door to HaShem. Jew’s have to stop behaving like goyim, you know it is ok to be a Jew, and doesn’t the world remind us of that every single day. Torah is live, try it you will be surprised. This family needs to pray for their daughter so HaShem brings her back to her roots.
(48) Marina Rivera del Aguila, June 13, 2009 10:40 PM
Study and, then, live Torah. You will be lacking nothing else!
(47) Hinda, June 13, 2009 10:14 AM
Not Knowing Islam's Attitude towards Women
Whenever a Muslim can get a non-Muslim to convert, that person will get over $20,000 from Saudi Arabia. This is factual as when I worked in International Law, I saw this happening in the late 1990s. Most of the foreign students who come to the US for "studies" are also on a mission to convert the non-believers. The usual tactic is to find a young woman who is vulnerable and naive. They go to the girl, seeing that she had been emotionally hurt and tell them that in their culture, the men treat the women like queens. The salesman pitch given to the young women who should know better but don't was that women are treated with the highest respect in Islam. The truth is that they are chattel and are treated like property. A woman cannot tell her husband NO - and remember there is a quota of wives but also for a man there is also temporary marriages which is just a form of legal prostitution. However, if there are children, under Sharia - the children will belong to the man. NOT the woman. If any woman is considering to convert to Islam - they should learn what Sharia is, the attitudes of men towards women, and what rights they do have. A man can legally text his wife 3 words 3 times (I divorce you) and he's legally divorce (as in Sharia) he can whisper these words, but a woman has to have a panel of MEN only. Fairness? Hardly. Is a woman a man's partner? Hardly. It's a 7th century mentality. Who wants that?!
(46) Joseph, June 12, 2009 11:24 PM
visit Israel and see who you are
It is not a disturbing story, but a sad one. judaisem comes from home, many jewish people eat pork or shell fish and yet they consider them selfs a good jewish. If we don't understand the meaning, difference than how do we know what is to be a jewish. I will mention one difference between jew and a non jew. a non jew can read the stars and predict the future, but a jew can change the his desteny. one must loook for his/her roots where he/she comes from and understand the purpese of life. Moses took us out of Egypt to freedom and what do we do convert to islam.
(45) Freedom, June 12, 2009 10:11 AM
CAL Berkley is a menace to Israel, Jews, and J youth
(44) DuaneBass, June 12, 2009 6:24 AM
It looks like a liberal fad
It is sad that she does not understand that she has these things in Judaism already. I have found all of these things in Judaism, and whats more I found the truth about God, right here @ Aish. It has been life changing for me. I would consider conversion, but it is not taken lightly, and therefore it is not been embarked upon. But I have studied the Wisdom of the Jewish faith and it is unprecedented, and I am gratefully eternal now, and eternally grateful to Aish and the Lord. . Does That make sense? This girls "conversion" is shallow and will be short lived. Her roots are deep and jewish, so new shoots will eventually rise. . . At least we hope that that clarity reestablishes itself within her soul. . .
(43) sheila, June 11, 2009 11:34 PM
WE NEED OUTREACH
I have always been spiritual although philosophically I am not orthodox. I believe that denominations are divisive and unnecessary. Although I was raised Conservative and have no great disagreement with this movement, I was drawn to the unified community aspect of Orthodoxy where members live within walking distance of their shuls and interact like people in a small village. I have fallen in love with the concept of separate seating as it fosters closeness and friendship among the members of the same sex. When we come together afterwards for the kiddush (which is a meal, not some cookies and coffee), there is great closeness and unity. I do not agree with the tendency towards conformity .These pressures in some congregations are antithetical to personal growth and the developement of creative abilities. The sameness of dress ,the wearing of wigs , and the sometimes judgmental behavior of congregants can be a turnoff. I have found Chabad to be unlike some other streams of Orthodoxy. They have been friendly ,loving and nonjudgmental of me... Seekers like this woman who converted to Islam need to be nurtured , encouraged and accepted.Rabbis- WAKE UP!
(42) Ashley Bell, June 11, 2009 7:01 AM
Commonality but expressed differently
Let's look at the three common virtues that are evident in both Judaism & Islam - family, unity & charity. These virtues are expressed differently in these two religions. In Judaism we are commanded, the word 'Islam' means 'to submit'. In my mind, when you submit, you give away your freedom. You can not receive anything when you just 'submit' - not family, not a sense of unity & you certainly can't be charitable if you are not receptive to being inspired. When you are commanded,(ie Judaism) you are guided forward along a pathway to BE , when you are merely submitted (ie Islam)to G-d you are bound to DO nothing because to only submit,is to leave you bereft?
(41) Diane, June 10, 2009 11:45 PM
Judaism interests of an Australian
#24 Yaffa. You make perfect sense along with #23 Paul Winter. I have never been able to find my ''spirituality'' within Christianity. I made a big mistake by converting to the Mormon sect, quite a few years ago and had it been muslims who reached out to me in a time of deep depression and feeling so lost, goodness knows what would have happened to me. Mormons lasted 6 months until I woke up to so many false teachings and a feeling of what in God''s name have I done?. I went to a RC school for 7 years then turned away from everything for the next 20. I am so against eveangelical *or* Christianity proselytizing, and luring people into their folds when that person is in a vulnerable time of life as so many do and I am a bit hesitant to reach out to find my true footing in the Jewish worl to find my Spiritual inner self. I have an inner drawing to Judaism, but know nobody in the communities and I am afraid of going to search for a Rabbi lest I have a bad experience such as #28. I have recently found one kind Gent in Australia but in another State who has offered to help me in answering any ?''s I might have, but that is not here in Victoria and I need to sit and talk and ask ?''s and discuss and explore...this is a bit hard via email. But in the meantime I will take this man up on his kind offer..who knows, he may just be able to refer me somewhere although he is of Jewish background, he is not overly religious, which is what I need at this time, so I am not just getting a zealots.radical point of view in any learning I so much want to do.
If there is anyone in Victoria, please, please let me know.
(40) Anonymous, June 10, 2009 9:21 PM
similar to joining a cult
(39) Tzvi, June 10, 2009 7:40 PM
the problems
(38) Paul, June 10, 2009 4:18 PM
She needs psychotherapy
(37) s, June 10, 2009 3:35 PM
right here all along
Sometimes people are tired of what they have and so they look for something different. But when the other thing has similar stuff to what your heritage has, ie. modesty, self discipline, intellectual info, faith in G-d, etc then the person should seek it in their own heritage instead of going elsewhere. - I think what happens is that some people don't know that their own heritage has it. Some people find out later, that it was right here all along.
(36) Anonymous, June 10, 2009 1:55 PM
sense of community
(35) Sad Secular Jew, June 10, 2009 10:33 AM
Exclusionism hurts
My mother is a Shoah survivor who never taught me anything about Judaism, except to say I should be proud to be Jewish. Living is Asia, I started to rediscover my lost heritage in my late 40s. I have read plenty of books and became especially interested in ethical Judaism, but in the three different synagogues I have been to, I have found it quite difficult to fit in. I have heard many people rattling off prayers at high speed, for example. Is this how a spiritual person speaks to God? When I was visiting northern Florida, I tried to attend Shabbat services at Chabad. I know one is not supposed to drive on the Sabbath, but I explained that I was from Asia and had no car, didn't know the city well (I didn't want to risk getting mugged by going on foot). The gist of the answer was "Too bad. So, don't come!" I later found out that Chabad House was about 15 or 20 minutes away (by car) from where I was staying. After a few weeks, I took a daytime bus at about 3:00 on a Friday afternoon, walked over and knocked on the door. There were lights on inside and I stood in front of the door for about fifteen minutes knocking periodically. I am an utterly inoffensive, studious-looking person, so I didn't pose any threat whatsoever, but nobody even answered the door. Wikipedia says a Chabad House is "a cozy and informal place to learn about and observe Judaism, and provides an atmosphere such that all Jews feel comfortable at Chabad events." It didn't feel cozy to me. Christians have no problem driving long distances to bring you to their church Sunday after Sunday and overwhelming you with kindness, but Jews don't proselytize. That's fine with me. But why do my own people insist on excluding me? Couldn't somebody at Chabad have offered to pick me up before sunset and maybe have someone else walk me home? I feel sad for this young woman who became a Muslim, but it's not so surprising. I sometimes wonder why I bother trying to be more observant.
(34) elana, June 10, 2009 9:17 AM
Being Jewish is Hard
Being Jewish is so hard. You forget about the beauty of it bec you are focused on all the rules. And don''t forget expensive. At this point, I have three boys, and I just cannot affort the tuition payments for yeshiva. Sorry, but food and shelter come first. Off to public school they may have to go next year. No, praying did not help to pay the bills. Do something about the schools so that more people can afford to send their kids to yeshivas and continue the Jewish traditions.
(33) Yisroel Pollack, June 10, 2009 8:17 AM
Mesmerized
(32) hana, June 10, 2009 7:07 AM
sad
yes lori a personal trajedy my people perish thru lack of knowledge HA SHEM declare yes it is an initement against all he teachers including parents one thing maracles do happen the prayers among us will pray that she comes to know that the god of avran yitazak and yacov is the only ONE AND TRUE and this weel girl will have her heart and mind turned to the truth she was obviously seeking the spiritual fullfillment and hopefully this is just a glitch on the way
(31) mister, June 10, 2009 4:57 AM
the arrogance of some commentaries is unbelieveable and reflects perfectly the problem of our ocmmunity. first am sorry to say, but someone can intellectual reason to accept islam, someone can feel he or she is not at home in judaism. the comments reflect to major typical thing, judaism is automaticly the only reasonable religion and we jews have the superior jewish soul, that so special and unique above all the gentiles souls, is exactly that aproach that makes so many leave our communities. win them by love and not tell them how special we think they are.
(30) Eli, June 10, 2009 4:39 AM
Converts and their experiences
the story is so similiar to so many stories of converts. i hear so often how hard it was for them to be accepted, i know some comverts who were nowhere accepted which brought them to a point of thinking about converting to islam, cause there they were welcomed not only in their mosque but also in their homes. and am telling u this problem will get worse specialy since people comvert to islam in the hundreds everyday.
(29) Jeffrey, June 10, 2009 1:40 AM
We shouldn't be surprised.
You know this should be a wake up call, and the wake up call is that although there are wonderful things inherent in Judaism they are often not revealed due to a variety of factors. One major thing I have found in growing up in a non religious home and always on the outskirts of the Jewish community, is that when I have tried to come into the Jewish community, I don't feel welcome. I don't feel a part of the community. I know I have to make more of an effort too, but I just don't feel wanted in my own community and I don't think I'm alone.
(28) Gedeon from Australia, June 10, 2009 12:49 AM
Lori Palatnik video
I hope this comment is seen by Lori Palatnik. If there is general sadness at the loss of Jews to other traditions and religions, then consider my story. I am an agnostic Jew with strong Jewish feelings and concerns. My wife is non Jewish but a great supporter of my interests. this story is about our daughter Eve, although there are other stories to tell of our other children. eve, when a teenager, showed interest in being "Jewish". I was happy about this and took her to a liberal Rabbi who i thought best to see. The outcome was catastrophic for Eve's and my "dream" at the time. We were handled badly, we were told we had to go through orthodox methods of "converting" Eve and that as an initial and fundamental step, my wife and I had to begin keeping a so called "Jewish" home. I went away saying to my agnostic "G-d" - so be you will, and I think my daughter was negatively affected and it bore on her subsequent visit to Israel where she noticed only prejudice from citizens there. None of our 5 children go to a Church or synagog or have any interest in religion. I as a "reborn" agnostic with strong Jewish feelings is the only one showing this interest. Perhaps us Jews are to blame for our low rate of conversion in and some conversion out and perhaps it does not matter, But if it does matter to you - think about it.
(27) Anonymous, June 10, 2009 12:10 AM
I Have a Similar Story
Before I begin, I just want to apologize in advance for the lengthy comment I’m about to post, but I feel this is an extremely important topic, can relate, and would like to offer some insight based on personal experience. Also, I’d just like to say that I very much enjoy these videos and found Lori Palatnik to be a truly inspirational speaker when I met her and heard her speak here in Milwaukee in 2004. Keep up the great work! This situation sounds all too familiar, coming from a first person standpoint. I actually ended up doing the same thing, though I’m sure the girl in the story and I had different circumstances. Since I was 7, I was told that my mom and grandma were Jewish. But since my grandma was adopted by non-Jews, she and my mom were never raised Jewish. Therefore, neither was I. I wasn’t raised with any religion, for that matter. Over the years though, curiosity about my background got the best of me. So I’d read here and there, with breaks over time. During one of those breaks, I dabbled a bit in reading about Islam. I later started reading about Judaism again. I wasn’t practicing anything though, as I wasn’t familiar with all the traditions that one can only learn by experience. In 2004, I wished to seek a deeper connection. The city I lived in only had a conservative synagogue, and I went to check it out. There were a total of about 10 older Jewish people there. Though they were nice folks, I didn’t feel I could gain the learning experience I desired. My next plan of action was a trip to Israel. I hoped to connect there. The only thing was that the friends I had there were secular, so needless to say, I didn’t get much religious experience. The Old City was the most beautiful place I’ve ever been though, and one can just feel the history there! Despite the fact that I didn’t achieve all that I had wished, I loved Israel. Upon my return, as luck/destiny would have it, I ended up meeting an Orthodox Jewish man at my work, and we were discussing my story. Wow, what were the chances of that?! Well, he and his wife and family invited me for a Shabbos. I was hesitant at first, but when I finally went, I realized I had found the type of experience I had been seeking. From that Shabbos on, that wonderful family made my Shabbos arrangements weekly until I moved to that community. One of the reasons for the prompt move was the issue of there being no known documentation of my Jewishness, which meant I would need to go through the technicality of conversion, to truly be considered Jewish in that community. I had no problem with it at first, as I figured it was to my benefit, considering I had so much to learn anyway. I was doing really well there, going to any class available at the shul, learning with 3 ladies every week on the topics of Shabbos, Kashrus, and Daily Living. For some reason though, things started to change, a few things happened, which I didn’t understand or even agree with at the time (I do now though). The bottom line is, not so different from Jews who were raised Jewish and later decided to become more observant, it can be difficult. And sometimes some even feel resentment, rejection, lack of knowledge, and as a result, become overwhelmed or even rebel. I can say I probably felt a bit of all those sentiments and rebelled. That’s when I turned to Islam. I’m not proud of that fact, but it is the topic, I’m just being honest here, and I’d like to eventually make a point. However, I must also be honest when I say I never turned against the Jewish people in any way...not even with words. In fact, when I went to my 2nd class at the mosque, the Imam was getting into a heated rant about Jews and Israel. I couldn’t accept his claims and even had to counter what he said, simply because I knew better and couldn’t allow him to teach such nonsense without saying something. Well, he was shocked that I had the nerve to contradict him and started yelling that if I didn’t respect Islam, his class, and what he was saying, I should get out, to which I stood up and simply replied “gladly.” The whole basis of the religion even troubled me after that. I mean we obviously all know how the Jewish nation came about. Well, without going into detail, the other just doesn’t compare. If only I had been thinking that logically when I decided to rebel! All I can say about that is past is past, and whether it be positive or negative, everything in life is a learning experience. As far as the girl’s comments are concerned about unity in the Muslim community, I didn’t see any of that (none that was sincere anyway). In fact, I saw an excess of hypocrisy, gossip and conflict in the Muslim community, whereas the Jewish community was much more tightly knit and genuinely cared for its people. Not long after doing so, I realized the grave error I had committed (to be honest, I knew it was wrong before I went, but hey, I was rebelling). And though I’d do anything to be back in my Jewish community, I realize that probably won’t happen for 2 main reasons and then some: 1) surely some people would be uncomfortable with my presence after the abrupt departure I made, and 2) I, myself, feel too ashamed of that path I chose to take and don’t know how I could face people. The second to last point I’d like to make mention of is in response to the comment about the Jewish girl not being able to leave Islam. First off, I was always told that if you’re a Jew, you’ll always be a Jew, even if you convert to something else. If she had the right motivation, support, and learning, she could and would come back! And unless she’s in Saudi Arabia, Iran, or some other Muslim country, I doubt she needs to worry about being killed. I stood up to those people right in their own mosque and was even still living in the area for a couple yrs. after rejecting Islam, and I have yet to be bothered (granted, I am in America). And if it were to happen, it’s just a chance I’d have to take. Finally, I’d just like to say that accepting Islam didn’t turn out to be a totally negative life experience, in that after the fact, I was able to step back, take things into perspective, and realize what is truly important. Now I am certain that I will never be capable of doing such a thing again. For now, I’m reading more and more Jewish materials and little by little, following the laws that I followed in the past. It is hard on my own, but whenever the time is right, I hope to get back into a community. As far as the girl is concerned, everyone has their own circumstances. Instead of criticizing or judging her or her situation, I just wish I could have the opportunity to talk to her to both get and give some perspective on the matter, only because we obviously had something in common (and still do, both being Jewish). This whole issue just goes to show the value of a Jewish education (and observance) and the consequences of a lack thereof.
(26) Robert M. Miller, June 9, 2009 11:30 PM
listen to what she says. We can learn a lot.
Listen to what she says. She feels acceptance and sisterhood. Belonging to a community. She was not getting that in Judaism. Watch the prayer services. Everyone is packed close together. There is a lot of physicality which binds people together. Religion comes from the root word of ligate. It binds you. A lot of people are attracted to that nurturing, supportive feeling. Even the clothes makes you feel part of the group. It is a uniform of the team. Listen to them when they say 20,000 people per year are converting. They accept converts quickly and give them support and a feeling of being part of the group, we shun them and make it difficult to join. When are we going to learn? Maybe we can learn something from them. They plagiarized our religion to create theirs. Maybe we can borrow a little back.
(25) B. Zalman Rosenthal, June 9, 2009 11:09 PM
Close but yet so far!
Islam’s one liner is “there is only one G-d and Mohammed is his prophet”. So our young convert lady is is half right! There is only one G-d! It is unfortunate that she, and the vast so many others of us were taught that Judaism was bagels, lox, liberal politics and Fiddler on the Roof. So why should we be surprised if in the marketplace of ideas someone with this level of Jewish background falls for Islam, Christianity, communism, secular humanism, or any other less than whole philosophy. After all, there is a lot in all of them that is true and appeals greatly to our latent and longing Jewish soul. The outreach by Aish and others is of course one answer to this problem. We have to get the spiritually searching Jews to the real item before they veer off onto one of the many non Jewish paths. We can only do this by making ourselves magnets for the spiritually searching by being holy and fulfilled Jews who are still normal enough to relate to the rest of the world. This young lady convert is not the first to explore this particular venue. In fact, there now exists a branch of another Jewish outreach organization that engages in active rescue of Jewish women who have fallen into the Moslem trap, gotten married to Moslem men, have had babies who are Jewish by halacha and are being brought up as Moslems. Many of these women are abused and are turned into prisoners in their own home. Hopefully our misguided searcher’s Jewish spark will ignite before she is treated to this uglier side of Islam.
(24) Yaffa, June 9, 2009 10:11 PM
Scary and very sad
I am a convert to Judaism. Maybe Jewish young girls who are looking for spiritual connection should be sent to us converts. My oldest daughter converted at age 14, graduating Bais Ya'cov High School this year. she is a bas Torah of her own choice, she was Christian and never found her spirituality. If the frum community can not step up to the plate, due to their own fears and insecurities, maybe the geryus should be given the chance. we are a family of 5, all converts all agreed individually and as a family. The point I am trying to make is that gerium know how to reach out and find what it they are searching for, our path was not easy and there was not a lot of Jewish community, support. Frum from birth need to open up, there are those out there looking for truth, if someone is willing to open the doorr to them.
(23) Paul Winter, June 9, 2009 8:12 PM
abandoning her heritage
While it might be expected that on aish the concerns would be religion oriented, there are other factors to consider, including the fact that we know nothing about the girl or her background. She may well have come from a good Jewish home with a decent Jewish upbringing. She may be rebelling against her upbringing. She may have been excluded by some of her Jewish peers on campus. She may have been snared by a Muslim outreach group operating in the same way as Christian prosyletisers do. She may have found the freedom of Judaism too much and sought something which was more ritualistic, confining and requiring little thought. Finally, she may have been perverted by the pro-Palestinian atmosphere on many campuses and converted to Islam as a way of identifying with the enemies of Israel.
(22) Anonymous, June 9, 2009 7:40 PM
Sad but true
I understand how this young woman went looking for something outside the Jewish community. Our Jewish communities are filled with money, buildings, and cold, rude people. It is a shame the Jewish communities are not filled with talk of G-d, spirituality and good feelings. I don't know the answer to changing our communities.
(21) malcolm stone, June 9, 2009 6:44 PM
brought tears to my eyes
(20) David, June 9, 2009 5:47 PM
At least she made a choice
(19) Anita, June 9, 2009 4:41 PM
Typically, I wouldn't respond to postings, but a few really cause alarm. This girl may not be ignorant ad it's easy to blame the parents. The reality is that our community requires a high level of conformity. We look alike, talk alike, and act alike. We educate our children exactly the same way, whether it works or not. It's very possible that we, as a community, have let this girl and her parents down. We need to understand that Jews walk in different ways--no way better. We need to educate our children with this in mind. Our schools, requiring our children to conform at all cost, lose their warmth. Oyur actions become mechanical and rote. We become so accostume to looking at the obvious-the externa-- that we forget to look at the internal--and ultimately, the internal will be eternal. Instead of placing blame on others, we need to be taking responsibility! We need to open our arms and welcome other Jews regardless of how they walk down the derech toward Hashem.
(18) Aryeh, June 9, 2009 2:42 PM
It's tragic
I saw the video Lori refers to two weeks ago and it shook me up so much I just couldn't stop thinking about this poor confused soul. She is so, so sincere. I wished there was a way to contact her, to invite her, to expose her to authentic Judaism, to somehow turn the clock back. She could be such a wonderful Jewish wife, mother, teacher maybe even a kiruv professional. Is it really too late to do anything, now? Anybody know where she is today?
(17) Isaac, June 9, 2009 2:08 PM
Sick to my stomach
I saw the video and it made me sick to my stomach. Why? It was not just the fact that she converted (and I will not speak ill of the other religion here). It was the fact that she had the gall to show pictures of her parents smiling with her during her graduation. Just imagine the love that those parents poured upon this girl. Just imagine the money that they showered her with by sending her to a top university and to at least one trip overseas. The parents get to have their proverbial 15 seconds of fame by having their pictures shown on Youtube. Can you imagine their life? Such a grateful daughter! She is so kind that she shows all of their pictures and then tells the world that surely her parents will understand her decision since she is not a terrorist and she has two jobs! They must be proud! What have they done to deserve such lack of respect? That is the real tragedy here. I am sick to my stomach. I feel so horrible for those parents.
(16) Giacomo, June 9, 2009 1:51 PM
It is time for a deep thinking
Thus saith the L-RD of hosts: In those days it shall come to pass, that ten men shall take hold, out of all the languages of the nations, shall even take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying: We will go with you, for we have heard that G-d is with you.' Zechariah 8:23 Evidently Judaism if far away from the scenario described in Zechariah. This should make us wonder. It is no use to rationalise. Hashem I beg you send us Moshiach.
(15) Noelle, June 9, 2009 12:30 PM
In time she will come around
(14) Yehoshua, June 9, 2009 12:13 PM
What the Jews of America are not hearing
This unfortunate young woman did not get the message about what Judaism is about. Why not? Chabad is on campus. Aish has a presence in California. It is possible to hear about Jewish prayer, modesty, all sorts of things. Why was she predisposed against what they had to say? What did Islam offer that Chabad on campus didn't? It offered the national identity of being part of the Islamic Uma. There is one place in Judaism where you can get the spiritual aspects of Jewish nationhood. It is in the Torah of Rav Kook zt"l. In Israel it is well known but in America it is available in Bnai Akiva and that's about it. It's politically incorrect. But it's the only answer to this Islamic stuff.
(13) Jeanne, June 9, 2009 11:41 AM
Idiot
(12) eugeno, June 9, 2009 10:41 AM
It ain't over til it's over- She'll be back
Many people in the state of sorting their life out, study many options on how to choose to live their life. It's "oool" for this young woman to choose Islam, because it gets her lots of attention, people talk about her, and she could passively rile up her parents while doing as what she sees as the "right" thing. I would like to see what this young woman is doing 5 or 10 years down the road, when this choice of hers has played out. I would like to see if the culture she chose at 18 is the same culture she finds comfort it at 25 or 30. I predict she'll be back to Jewishness. It ain't over til its over.
(11) Anonymous, June 9, 2009 10:40 AM
U r on the right track, Lori.
Yes, I admire Lori for having dared to face up to some of the not-so-admirable realities of modern Jewish society. Hopefully she will not get hit with the label (& libel), "self-hating Jew," which has become some peoples'' automatic robotic response to anyone who says the least critical comment about anything Jewish. Lori has toched a nerve, & there''s much more that could be said about the points she''s raised. It''s high time Jews, especially in North Am., took a long hard look at some of our characteristics that are driving away our young people -- the rudeness that passes for "honesty"...the acceptance of vulgarity & crudeness in Jewish popular culture ...the arrogance & contempt that the better-off members of our society often display to those they consider their socio-economic inferiors...the greed & conspicuous consumption that goes far beyond that of anyone else in our already conspicuous-consumption-crazed N. American culture... And this list can go on & on.
(10) Avraham Broide, June 9, 2009 10:18 AM
More Moslems
(9) Adam, June 9, 2009 10:07 AM
But on the other hand...
I'm of two feelings re: this Jewish convert to Islam. On one hand, the description given by Mrs. Palatnik is very much an indictment of the typical suburban assimilationist Judaism in which so many of us (including me) were raised. Some of us grow from this and become ba'lei teshuvah (like me), some choose other paths. On the other hand, at least the young lady in question chose to remain a monotheist. Theologically, there is far more in common between Judaism Islam than between Judaism and Christianity. After all, Islam Judaism believe that there is no G-d but G-d, Christianity worships the Father, the Son, the Holy Spigot.
(8) Miriam, June 9, 2009 10:02 AM
Self Hating Jews
This young woman converted to Islam in order to tell us that she is a frightened self-hating Jew. When you watch the chilling youtube video you see that she came from a middle class liberal family whose ties to Judaism are fraying. She rejects Judaism in order to embrace its enemies. In this way her fear of being branded a member of a hated minority disappears. She is no longer frightened as she is now part of the perceived stronger force of Islam. No matter what she may say to the contrary, she is still a Jew, born of a Jewish mother and has a Jewish soul. I do wonder how Islamists will receive this convert as she ventures into the wider Muslim world. Will they accept her or will they demean her for her Jewish roots?
(7) Yochanan Bialik, June 8, 2009 10:24 PM
What the root cause is.
I have watched for some time now, how our people are losing the battle of passing down to our children the blessings of Judaism. This may be too blunt for some, but it needs to be said. First, Parents are not fulfilling their obligation of Torah by teaching their own children. Teaching begins by example. So many times I have heard a parent exclaim, "Do as I say, not as I do!" If we are not willing to keep and follow Torah, then why should our children? Exodus 13. 8 and 14, Deut. 6. 7 and Deut. 11. 19. We all should recognize these verses. We say them at least twice each day and they are verses in our Mezuzah cases and our Tefillin boxes. In all four of these, Hashem tells us directly to teach our children. This does not mean you hire someone else to teach them, yes they have to go to school and learn those things, but of course not all of it is Torah. As parents we need to enforce Torah when they are home and with us where ever we go. We need to show them that keeping Torah is not a burden but is fun, enlightening, and that our service to Hashem is our hearts desire, not something we feel we have to do. I look at it as a “get to”, and I teach my children the same. When they get up on Shabbos and are getting ready to walk to shul, I hear the young ones say, "Why do we have to go?" It is then that I share with them that they do not have to do anything, that this is a “get to”. We get to walk to shul, we get to read from the Torah scroll, we get to pray etc. etc. Hashem has done so much for us and is doing for us and will do for us, not because He had to, but because He wants to. I show them how much fun and how much in love I am in Hashem. We can read about others who were in love with Hashem in the Psalms. We can read it in the Tanahk from Abraham to Moses and Moses to Joshua and the elders. And from Judges all the way through the writings and prophets. How much they loved Hashem and how willing they were to serve Him. Any Hebrew School teachers that are out there remember you too have a responsibility to make it fun to learn and study Torah. Too many times I have seen, read or heard about how strict the teachers were or are and how serious they are, and they take the fun out of learning. We need to be serious but we can make it fun too. I know not all are like this, but there are quite a few. Youth activities are another big way of showing our love to others in Judaism and the Torah and what it is truly like being a Jew. The other areas I will touch on and I believe we need to be unified in order to bring Moshiach, is that the Reconstructionists, the Reformists, the Conservatives, help cause our young people to quit following the Torah and showing a love to our fellow Jew. It is because they have diminished the Torah’s importance as written instructions from Hashem One of our many prayers that we say after the Shemoneh Esrei prayers called "Shalom" we pray for peace etc. but we have this little line that too many people just read without really looking at what it is saying, "Bless us, our father, all of us as one, with the light of Your countenance, for with the light of Your countenance You gave us, Hashem, our G-d, the Torah of life and a love of kindness, righteousness, blessing, compassion, life and peace." A love of Kindness, that is towards our people and those that are not our people, you never know when you may be blessing a hidden Jewish soul. Righteousness that is living according to the instructions of the Torah. Blessing, this is what we get when we are obedient to Torah and in showing kindness to others. Compassion, which is what we give and receive according to the Torah. Life, along life when we are obedient in keeping Torah and fulfilling the devine service, and then peace, peace from all our enemies, evil people, evil thoughts and desires etc. When we can teach our children by example and share with them our love of Torah (because we love Hashem), and we show them the joy there is in being Jewish and not make it a "have to" but a "get to" then we will begin to reclaim our own. All of us are searching for Truth, Acceptance from others, Love etc. It is all here in the life of being Jewish, but we need to show it by example to each other. Go out greet your neighbors who ever they may be or what they may be like. Be kind to others, a righteous person is not boring but excited about Hashem, about living Torah, about sharing what they live. Pray that Hashem would bless others in need of a blessing, be compassionate to those that need it, they may not deserve it, but who are we to say. Live life to its fullness with our life planted in the Torah so that we will have peace. Blessings and unity to all our people around the world, and may all Jewish souls return to Torah.
(6) Michal, June 8, 2009 11:39 AM
Wake up Jews!
What do you mean she is a "disturbed young woman?" she only wants all the beautiful things that Judaism has to offer but obviously hasn't been taught that it's in her hands to have all that as a Jew. And no one in the Jewish community has stepped in to teach her that either apparently. And apparently the Jewish model has given her the impression that she can't have all that as a Jew and she has to look elsewhere. C'mon people, who's fault is it really that she's made such a terrifying decision? and the scariest part of it all is that she's probably going to be over less aveirot as a religious Muslim as a non-religious Jew. Not that I am endorsing her conversion in the least, it's just a scary reality. we, as the religious Jewish community have a responsibility to reach out and teach all these people who know NOTHING about Judaism. We all have millions of kiruv opportunities every day that we don't take advantage of and Klal Yisroel is suffering terribly for it. "Im lo achshav, eimatai?" Strike up a conversation with the next secular Jew you meet, invite someone for shabbos or a shabbos meal, volunteer for aish (they have a dozen one-on-one chavrusah programs), do something! "kol Yisroel araivim zeh l'zeh" if they go down, we go down with them.
(5) Michelle, June 7, 2009 6:52 PM
Horrifying truth
(4) Rosen, June 7, 2009 5:51 PM
saddening conversion
It's almost a tragedy when a Jew converts to either Islam, Christianity, etc. after not getting an adequate Jewish education. This girl probably never visited Israel or her parents never put their foot down to explain why she should remain Jewish. Perhaps someone can recommend her to Jews for Judaism?
(3) Mary, June 7, 2009 3:21 PM
colossal ignorance.
Her actions represent colossal ignorance. If she has not yet converted, then someone from Chabad should visit her ASAP. If she has already converted, considering that they would kill her if she leaves, I don't see that there is anything that can be done for her. The quote "let your life either be a model for people to follow or a severe warning" seems to apply here. If she has converted, she could be exposed to what she turned her back on ex post facto and she could even talk about it, without threatening her own life, although I expect her new friends would become less friendly and supportive. She doesn't know that she is a prize that she handed away, sort of like Elian Gonzalez only she did it to herself. If she wanted to go back to Judaism she could always try the argument, "why can't she do so and live, the way Pres. Obama who was born a Muslim became a Christian?" Good luck with that one. Pres. Obama, as the son of a Muslim man is Muslim according to the law of Islam. It appears that an exception is being made for him from the Muslim apostate laws that dictate death to an apostate. I presume it is because of political expediency. Muslims are capable of doing things for political expediency, as for instance some Muslims know perfectly well that the Koran says that the Jews will come back to Israel, but for purposes of political expediency, they don't tell their people. Learn from one’s failures. I guess Chabad could start an ad campaign: Do you feel that Judaism lacks spirituality, intellectual stimulation, discipline, and community, and asks nothing of you? If yes, come to Chabad (address) any __ (fill in day and time).You will be welcome. Whenever I do searches on Google I am always amazed to find out how many peoples are looking to Judaism for meaning to their lives. Today I googled the Kohanim prayer and tripped across a website for a Christian group reaching out to Chinese with the translation of the Kohanim prayer into Chinese. They squished Jesus in there.
(2) Yisroel Pollack, June 7, 2009 2:19 PM
To Abandon... or Not To?
If you’ve got a viable strategy, then Yes – you should reach out and try to connect with her and do everything you possibly can to draw her back into the fold and make her feel comfortable and at home, with a distinct sense of belonging. It would likely entail somehow infiltrating her present surroundings and trying to make headway in communicating with her, making her know that she’s missed and sought after. At the moment, she’s probably resistant to any thought of abandoning her newfound circle of support, so it would take some kind of herculean effort to penetrate the barrier she and her friends, standing alongside her, have erected. But that’s not to say the task is insuperable. The undertaking has got to be predicated on the premise that, after all is said and done, she IS a Jewish soul and, as such, amenable to suggestion. A Jewish soul, when confronted with a variety of “religious” options to chose from, will approach the decision in either of two ways. One is on the basis of outer appeal. It’s rather like deciding on a brand of coffee to drink: the operative question is, Which satisfies my palate the best? But this is superficial, it reduces religious practice to something indulged in for the sheer ecstasy of it. It separates the practice and the adherence from the person, the soul, involved in it. But the truth is – and this is something that the whole outreach movement is based on – that one’s Judaism (Jewish identity) is not external to oneself but indelibly etched in the innermost sanctum of one’s being. As such, it is ever pattering for expression. It wants to be actualized and brought out into the open. Sure, there are forces out there that may contrive to throw the Jewish person off balance and cause her to lose her way, making her deny her deep soul the voice it seeks, and to suppress it to the point of inaudibility. But even in an inert state, it remains vital and never ceases to throb searchingly. The key is to meet it on its own terms, which is to say, in purity and authenticity: not in some kind of diluted fashion. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that to attract the wayward Jewish soul it is necessary to sugarcoat Judaism to enhance its appeal. But it doesn’t work that way. The Jewish soul is far too radiant, too knowing, and too real to fall for the allure of make-believe substitutes. Only one’s outer personality does THAT, and when it does, the allure proves ephemeral and unendurable. The only way to penetrate the Jewish soul is directly: it’s got to be fire with fire.
(1) Anonymous, June 7, 2009 6:56 AM
yes, it matters
About the Author
Mrs. Lori Palatnik
More by this Author >
Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.
Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive


(60) Anonymous, March 11, 2012 3:23 AM
Hospitality and welcome (and adab/manners)
I am converting into Judaism, but once explored and studied Islam. There is so much the same in them but I can see why she might have made the other choice. Islam is more culturally middle-eastern, very welcoming and demonstrative. When I visited the mosque, everyone in the room greeted me with kisses and treated me as if I belonged there. A big contrast to my experiences in churches, which were cold and akward with invasive personal questions. Synagogues are not as bad as churches, but the more Ashkenazi they are, the more they tend that way. My synagogue is mixed, and it's the Sephardim that are the most expansive and friendly immediately. The Ashkenazi and westernized people are "slower to warm up" (No finger pointing here, my background is uptight British) I would've preferred Orthodoxy in many ways, but the Frum shul had incorrect times posted, mislabelled doors, and bluntly rude people asking me why I was there. Some people there excepted, they are not more welcoming to other Jews either. The Haredi communities are even more difficult to get into...whereas in Islam, even the most observant mosques are welcoming to visitors. I could never marry in a Haredi community but she will have little trouble marrying. There's no "Who is a Muslim?" issue. No one will go through her ancestry with a fine tooth comb, or question her descendants' status. Her conversion won't be retroactively overturned. I am lucky that my local synagogue has a core group of wonderful worshippers, and a commitment to study but there are only enough of us that we study all together. I don't mind, but sometimes it's nice to have single gender groups. The dynamics are different and it's rare for most of us today to get the opportunity to have single gender groups that aren't centred on sports, or some sort of "pagan womyn's empowerment" thing. I love Judaism and it's what God wants of me but it comes complete with a lot of tzuris that Islam is free of. You have to love it to stay here.
Sim, May 12, 2013 7:58 AM
Hi, I totally agree with you, I too attended a reform synagogue for a bit and I am still wanting to convert to judaism, but they seemed cold and not as welcoming as some of the other worshippers. I've always wanted to convert through a Sephardi congregation purely because I love their rites of worship and style of praying but I heard Sephardi communities hardly ever accept converts? What area is your Sephardi synagogue in? L'Shalom :)
(59) Mati, April 10, 2011 6:37 AM
We do the same thing as she did.
So many of us Jews change our FAITH (and religion) because of the Shoah. G-d promised us that He will destroy us, except for a remant, AS A PEOPLE if we turn from the mitzvot and want to become one with the goyim. This was exactly what happened with the Jews of Germany-Poland. And because we are a PEOPLE (both the secular and the religious), everyone suffered the fate. We became secular, wanted to make a german kotel and capital and become one with them. The religious merged traditions and speech of the goyim with that of Judaism. We didn't listen to the "spankings" before the catastrophe. (The many pogroms, rebellions against the Jews, etc. prior to the Shoah). And even today, instead of fixin this by not activily doing kiruv to the reform, etc., we pretty much leave it as is and continue to blame H" for what He said he would do to us in the Tanach. WE ALL need to do tshuvah and take care of one another spiritually and return ourselves to Torah. Yet we don't even do that to ourselves, to our families, and to our People.
(58) Dani, March 26, 2011 2:23 AM
She could be an orthodox jew if she wanted to dress modestly and she would find a lot of friends. Why to go Muslim? I think this girl is sick.
(57) Mati, March 24, 2011 8:22 AM
Rebellion?
Is it me, or does it seem that those who CONVERT to Islam, do so out of some kind of rebellion to the status quo of whatever kind?