Video: Parenting Teenagers

Home
» Blogs

Published: October 31, 2009

Lori Almost Live Archive

Give Tzedakah! Help Aish.com create inspiring
articles, videos and blogs featuring timeless Jewish wisdom.

Visitor Comments: 14

(14) leah riech, August 1, 2010 6:21 PM

thank you so much i am a teenager & i think my mom will gain a lot by your 5 min speech its really true & a pleasure to hear ppl. stick up for us

(13) SusanE, November 6, 2009 7:00 PM

Did that teenager thing.

I raised two teens during the 70's and 80's. Woodstock,Hippies and Free Love, Counter culture, anti-Viet Nam protests, Drugs and other things I had never dealt with. Don't fool yourself, your kids aren't perfect. But you can make the transition easier for them from dependent to independent. Your teenagers need to be given choices and to be able to make their own decisions as they grow from 13 into adults. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Lay the ground rules early. There were certain rules in our household when I was a teen.. NO DRUGS! NO DRINKING! NO DISRESPECTING YOUR MOTHER OR FATHER. Those were non-negotiable! Pretty much everything else was open for consideration.

(12) Esther, November 6, 2009 2:46 PM

amazing

thank you Lori, i have tears in my eyes after listening to this video you are terrific in your wisdon, this helped me so much i hope to meet you some day, i feel as though i kinow you already, i am freinds with many of the ladies that went on the Isreal trip this past simmer from Atlanta, we are truly bless to have you in our life and i am truly thankful to Hashem for having you to listen to and get ideas from, thank you from the bottom of my heart all the best Esther Taratoot

(11) Lindsay, November 5, 2009 2:29 PM

One through it, one in it, one coming up

Thanks for the excellent info...I have three children, one of whom has made it through his teens, a daughter in hers, and another daughter less than 2 years away from becoming a teen. But even with all that, sometime I need a reminder. Thank you! :-)

(10) Dr. T, November 4, 2009 4:08 PM

Sorry but it sound hard to believe it's about transit

The teens are suffering not from a “transitional” syndrome but from a parental syndrome. The parents gave them so much power...now we are looking for explanations and excuses. Let's take it back! The Parental Authority and this teen problem will not disappear but diminish to “normal” levels. We deserve it but mainly, our kids deserve it to have a better future. Discipline is not punishment, “unconditional love” (as to speak today) and “endless forgiveness” can harm them. Life and society in general will not be so forgiven to them in the future

(9) nili, November 4, 2009 11:13 AM

true of all children

Children af All ages need this empathy. Today's generations are different. Some children become "teens" very early. And we have to adapt ourselves to each child. Some children have such highly developed conciences that when we inpose on them more rules they just go bananas. We have to TRUST them.

(8) Ilana, November 4, 2009 6:47 AM

Very helpful, thank you!

I don't usually have the patience to watch videos, but this title sure caught my eye. And it was worth watching! My oldest is very much the adolescent and it's hard for me. The two really helpful thoughts for me were: 1. Parenting teenagers is different than parenting children. 2. Teenagers are in transit, from childhood to adulthood, and neither here nor there. Very helpful. Thank you!

(7) Anonymous, November 3, 2009 8:53 PM

What is

Yes, you're in transit, but so at any age. As the saying goes, "...to get from what was to what will be, ya gots to go through what is..." Ask your Emau.

(6) Berri, November 3, 2009 7:25 PM

Oy Lori, I'm scared!

Your tape made me laugh, but now I'm scared too! My daughter is 9 going on 19, and if it's going to get worse, I don't know what I'm going to do. Help! And yes, I was an awful teenager. I was all those things - moody, critical, miserable - and now my precious little baby girl is starting all that stuff. Help! I'll just keep repeating: love her, love her, love her. Thanks!

(5) leah, November 3, 2009 5:35 PM

I survived 4 teenagers

You brought tears to my eyes.I like the idea of teenagers being "in Transit" You have it right. I would add Listen to them. Don't advise unless they ask you to. They want you to hear them most of all. You are their wall to bounce thoughts against, their safe house. As you said,Pray alot. My kids were basically good kids. My son gave me a few difficult moments but he outgrew them. The girls weremuch easier.They are B"H all parents now. And yes I wish them nothing worse then what they gave me & their father.

(4) Anonymous, November 3, 2009 5:04 PM

This helps

Recalling my behaviors helps me stay calm when my teenager is acting like a two-year-old. Other helpful tools: - Think to myself: "now the only one I can control is myself." And with much restraint I remain calm and try not to aggravate the situation further. - Remember the word's of our Rabbis "don't appease a person in the time of his anger." If there's anything to say to the teenager it won't help when he/she's in this mood. - As she is in her difficult moment/hour recall how sweet and helpful she was the day before. She's the same person, her goodness didn't go away. It's just covered up for the time. And of course - pray. We can't do it on our own.

(3) Raisy, November 3, 2009 12:17 AM

Bar/Bat Mitzva

It's a new cultural phenomenon--"teenagers" and yes, since they are not getting married as many of our great, great grandparents did at 14 and 15 they are home and we are 'raising' them with the challenges this entails. The Torah, however, does qualify a 13-year-old male and 12-year-old female as an adult and they are halachically responsible for their behaviors--regardless of raging hormones or 'transitioning' difficulties. Yes, there is plenty of room for sympathy, but there are expectations of them--as for us--as a holy nation. We can help by celebrating their entry into adulthood and enjoying all that is right with them. Take Motrin for the rest...

(2) Iris, November 1, 2009 5:32 PM

Brings back memories of my transition. Ouch!

I really am rather nervous about having my daughter hit her teeny bopper years-11-13. I love the statement about having our kids act the way we did. The curse, I jokingly say, but it does work. I just think that we see the bad that we did in our kids, and wish more for them. Parenting has its ups and downs, in every stage. We all have to pray really hard for all the strength we can get.

(1) a tenager, November 1, 2009 11:40 AM

i agree

See All Comments

stub

About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

More by this Author >

Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Parenting Teenagers

Empathize! You were once a teenager too.

Visitor Comments: 14

Submit Your Comment:

About the Author

Related Articles:

LANGUAGES:

AFFILIATES:

SECTIONS:

EMAIL LISTS:

ABOUT:

FOLLOW US: