Your Best Advice

The best advice I ever got was from someone who had listened to me complain about my problems with my mother endlessly. Finally, one day she got my attention, then put the palms of her hands together, pushing one against the other. "This is what you are doing with your mother," she told me. "You engage in the same arguments, and push on each other, back and forth. But what would happen if you did this...."and she moved one hand away, leaving the other hand pushing against empty air. I stared at the one hand, and suddenly it occurred to me that she was right. I had the ability and the right NOT to engage in the same behaviors each time. Those same arguments didn't have to happen if I took the initiative and let them slide. It was as though a light went on in my head.....It wasn't all that easy to put into action, but after a while it worked. Both my mother and I agreed that either of us could say, "STOP" when one of us was venturing into an argument, and after some more time, we never had to even do that again. Ten-plus years of a sweet, beautiful, very close relationship with my mother followed - something we'd never had because I was too busy having to be right all the time. We forgot why we'd needed to argue in the first place. My mother passed away this past February, and I was there with her all the weeks she was unable to talk - no words needed to be said, anyway, because by then I understood her with my whole heart. I will always be grateful for the simple hand gestures which gave me back a loving relationship with my mother for those precious years.

I visited Israel for the first time when I was in 11th grade and I immediately felt that I wanted to make aliyah. On the way to the airport, one of the staff members told everyone to close their eyes and think about how they feel about Israel at that moment. When we opened our eyes she told us that when we go back to America it will be hard to remember how close we felt to Israel, and that we should trust ourselves that we had in fact felt what we were feeling at that moment. I took that piece of advice with me and whenever I had doubts about my desire to make aliyah, I remembered what she said. I ended up making aliyah after high school and will soon celebrate my 8th "aliyah anniversary". I love living here and I am so grateful to the "madricha" who gave me that wonderful piece of advice.

work on improving your self-talk. If youre struggling with something, for example organization, don't say to yourself "I'm disorganized", but rather say "I'm working on becoming more organized". This seems little but it makes the biggest difference in the world. Better yet, invest in the book Conversations With Yourself by Rav Zelig Pliskin. This could change the quality of your life tremendously.

Smile, everyone is having a harder time

My dad taught me this when I kept falling, trying to learn to ride a two wheel bicycle. The trick is that you have to WANT to obtain your goal and keep working toward it, picking yourself up and not giving up.

Don't worry if someone is mean to you or talks behind your back. It IS really hurtful, but you can't control how other people behave. You can only control how YOU behave. So if you're a nice person and didn't do anything to warrant that slander, then it isn't your problem.

I agree with the idea of the young boy just savoring the moment. Bigger is not always better. I also like the twist of good things coming at unexpected times and places - not always out in the open when the sun is shining.

When you're worried or afraid, imagine that the worst came true and then ask yourself "So what?" Then answer the question literally and be very specific. Whatever you're worried about--cancer, losing a job, losing a marriage, becoming a crime victim . . . whatever. Ask yourself, "so what exactly might happen and what could I then do if the worst occurred. And then what? And then? . . ." Much more calming and empowering than endlessly turning the fear over in your mind, which is sort of like "mental kvetching."

Years ago, I read a letter that a reader submitted to a "Dear Abby" advice column - the woman was 52 years old and had always dreamed of going to college. She was finally at the point in her life where she had the opportunity, but she was hesitant because of her age...she said (not an exact quote), "when I graduate in 4 years I'll be 56 years old, that's crazy!!" The columnist's response was brilliant in its simplicity - "And how old will you be in 4 years if you don't go to college?!?"

Years ago, I was hired as a state tax agent. My duties would include collecting overdue taxes from delinquent citizens. My employer showed the new employees a film as part of our training. It was a lecture by a man who had been a bill collector by profession. The words of his that remain with me are: "Always remember P.H.D. - Preserve Human Dignity." It is a principle that can be used in ANY profession.

Be a tither. Give 10% either to your Religious Organization, charity, other good causes for humanity & put 10% into savings.

Inch by inch anything is a cinch. By helping others, we are helping ourselves. There is always someone worse off than we are, by helping someone else, we forget about our own problems. Don't despise small beginnings. Your first job is where you will gain experience in what you have learned in school. That client ect. may just be the person doing your next interview on the next step on your career ladder. That employer will be giving a reference. So even if it isn't your desired job or career format, work hard and don't have a chip on your shoulder because you think you are over qualified to do that job. Respect your elders, they are your mentors.

Don't ask what your country can do for you, rather ask what you can do for your country. JFK

One day l took my dad to the hospital because his legs were swollen to have a check up; before we left as usual we prayed together that God be in charge. At the Hospital the doctor said “I will have your dad done a blood test to make sure that his kidneys are ok" l suddenly looked worried and my dad noticed, he said "Remember we prayed, God is in charge" that is all l needed to have my face cheerful again with confidence. Results? his kidneys were ok.

In your story, the advice the barber gave may have been practical. However, my advice would have been to savor the moment. Don't get so caught up in catching fish that you don't enjoy the fishing. In this same vein. When going on a vacation, it isn't necessary to visit each and every point of interest. While travelling to the point of interest, be sure to see and appreciate the flowers, beautiful sunsets and other scenery. I want to thank you for your weekly video. It is always a pleasure to hear your views (even when I don't agree 100 per cent).

a sign on a miracle workers door. you rush a miracle worker you get rotten miracles!

True story. When i was a teenager, learning in yerushalayim, i used to have a learning session at night with my uncle. I had to catch 2 buses to get to him and at times i wanted "time off". one wintery day i didnt feel like going so i called him and said that i have the sniffels and a scratchy throat and its windy and cold outside so what should i do? i was confident that he would say take the night off and i would not look like i was the one who was canceling. Well he paused and then said 5 words that have remained with me and gave me strenght many times. He said "bundle up and get schar (reward). We all have chalenges, if we "bundle up" we can get thru them and come away with a true sense of acomplishment. Those are the moments that really build us!

As Chevi Garfinkel quoted her freind so beutifully: Success is not defined by the outcome, but rather how you come out of the situation.

My Dad always said," Don't write something in a letter that you wouldn't want printed in a newspaper." (text and email could be added to that nowdays.

In Yiddish an excuse is (pronounced) emet-loh. Which in hebrew equates to "this is not true". I.e. when you are making an excuse it is generally not the true reason for not doing what you were supposed to have done, it is just not true, it's JUST an excuse, a way of getting out of the responsibility for not succeeding!

When your child did something wrong in school, or someone yells at you for no reason or......you may feel as if something is wrong with you, everything thinks there's somethign wrong with me....you must always remember though that "this is not your issue! It's the child's, person's, boss's, coworker's, stranger's, sibling's....problem. The only way to deal with it correctly is to take a step back and take yourself out of teh picture. This is their problem-not yours :)" May we all be able to live with peace adn tranquility within ourselves. :) Thank R. Salamon for yoru advices-I also really enjoyed the advices you wrote in your book "Salamon speaks" :)

Getting a shidduch is like running for the presidency. First you have to win the primaries, get the nomination, and get elected. Your wedding is your inauguration day. Being married is like being on the Supreme Court--the job is for life as long as both parties behave. Nevertheless, once you're married you have to run for re-election every day. Sandy Goodman Harrisburg PA P.S. I am happily married and my wife and I are very compatible despite the fact that I am a political juinkie but she's not.

There once a man walked into a pet shop looking around; the shop owner came to show him a big dog, saying this is the biggest one and the best one in my shop I think you may like it. The man says, the little puppets are adorable …. The owner said, no, these little one are just cheep, gentleman, you look noble that is why I show you the best one and the most expensive one for you. The man says, the little ones are also pet too.

SAM LEVENSON: It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite. Another I found, and it's a favorite! The only difference between try and triumph is a little umph…

"Its not the years in your life, its the life in your years"

I was once told by a mentor not to be discouraged when things get tough. " The best work is often accomplished under the most difficult circumstances"

Dear Rabbi Salomon: One of the best pieces of advice I have received came from a teacher who was teaching me at home because of an accident I had. She said" You get out of something what you put into it. Whether it be school, work or life". Thank you for your many timely videos

say you're sorry

My mom always says: "People will always find time to do what they want to do." So many of our excuses are rationalizations to placate our egos! (Rabbi Salomon: I particularly liked this week's blog -- Thanks!)

Once upon a time, I had this boss that was awesome, I have had many, but she stands out.... I was a little bit of a trouble in my earlier career and took to the bottle and friends peer pressure, I went for it.... Well, one day, my boss asked me into her office, asked me to sit down and told me something that changed my life... She told me, Guy, you are a great person, a wonderful worker, a humorous and fun person to be around, but(there is ALWAYS A BUT!) you have to clean up your act. Stop hanging around the wrong people, get back into your religion and trust G-d with your needs. You need to be "ABOVE REPROACH".... I had no idea what that meant actually, but shook my head in agreement anyways and left her office. I got home and quickly looked it up, to find that, if you are in fact above reproach, you keep yourself in good standing with everything around your life..... I found G-d again, started to treat others with a different look, stayed funny and fun, but in a nicer manner and with heart and not stabs..... For this, I will always be grateful to Mary B., THANKS MARY!!! Good luck to ALL the graduates, I wish you well in your path to find what you are seeking..... Guy, Shingletown CA

|My father used to tell me that there are 2 answers to every question, yes or no. One can never predict the answer so give it a chance. Maybe you'll get a surprising "yes". I know I did.

i find there only good and wise content. I am glad that i can be with you, reading the real-life stories, tips and important information,I am yours fun and this a page..Shalom and God bless You..

My father recently passed away, and at his funeral I had the opportunity to speak. I spoke of all I had learned from him. Here is a summary of some of those lessons: 1 - PAY IT FORWARD 2 - DO FOR OTHERS 3 - THINGS WILL ALWAYS WORK OUT 4 - ENJOY LIFE WITH A PASSION 5 - NEVER GIVE UP 6 - ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A PLAN B 7 - AND NEVER LET A SALESMAN TALK YOU INTO ANYTHING YOU DON’T REALLY WANT

My wonderful dad always told me, "Life is what you make of it."

Einstein said "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Sometimes it applies, and sometimes it doesn't.

Have none!

1) "from some ppl you learn what to do and from others you learn what *not* to do". 2) brought down as said by the chofetz chaim - "when I was young, I wanted to change the world, but then I realized that wasn't going to happen, so I changed courses and I wanted to change my country, but then I realized that wasn't going to happen, so then I wanted to change my town, and I realized it wasn't going to happen, so then I wanted to change my block, and I realized it wasn't going to happen, so then I decided tthe only thing I can change is myself....."

I read somewhere the advice to remember that most people are doing their best according to their lights.

My Mom told me from a young age, "Always conduct yourself like a lady".

my parents used to tell me to "face the music" when confronted with a major challenge. It implied that one must face the difficult situation head on and not back out because it isn't going to go away . Another piece of wisdom from a story about King Salomon is to keep in mind that every situation" this too shall pass". Meaning that just like the good times don't last forever, nor do the bad times. These things have taught me courage and endurance during difficult times.

The best piese of advice I think I have ever gotten is to know that I can only control myself and that although I may want to help other people through their problems and see them happy, it is not necessarily up to me to do.... I have to take care of my own tasks and not get drawn so much into others' that I become depressed or burdened to the point of not being able to take care of myself and my family.

Got a lemon? Make a lemondade!

A friend had asked me to accompany her on a trip out of town where she had a meeting scheduled to talk to this person. She was dreading this very much. She was so nervous she couldn't drive, so I did. We arrived in the town early, so we went shopping. She loves to shop; even this wasn't calming her down. I took her to a cemetery that had a sidewalk in it, and we took a walk through it. We would stop and read some of the tombstones. She asked me why I brought her there. I passed on to her what someone had told me. Compare this meeting to this Graveyard. Which would you chose, being here 6ft under, or going to the meeting? Which is worse? She was able to view the meeting as not that big of a deal compared to death. She didn't back out. The meeting went very good. We stopped at Starbucks and sat outside while she was telling me all about her encounter. She was glowing and laughing giving accounts of it. The Graveyard advise worked.

As you stretch and leave your comfort zone you are bound to be knocked down and have failures. The failures are no more than lessons. Get back up and keep going after your Dreams. Such as living in Israel as I am.

A couple pieces of the best advice I ever got was from a newspaper that suggested to save at least $2 a day into either a savings or IRA account, so I put in at least $1-$3 a day, at least whenever I can to redistribute my money among my checking and savings accounts...Another important piece of advice I received was from my father telling me that the first charity begins at home. Due to the rough economic situation we've been going thru over the past couple of years where families are consolidating, and I'm still living at home with my parents, I pay them back whenever needed such as when they lend me money or I have to pay them back for the monthly cell phone bill under my tab - a great and important way of honoring my mother and father since I do owe it to them.