Video: Bageling

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Published: June 26, 2010

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Visitor Comments: 24

(24) andrea, August 11, 2010 1:48 AM

interesting how its mostly secular people who i have experienced doing that-

i don't consider shabbat hospitality to be bageling. saying shabbat shalom on wednesday is bageling. frum people never bagel me. only secular jews. weird.

(23) Lisa, July 12, 2010 1:04 AM

Ha ha ha ... I never knew there was a name for what I do!!! And I do it constantly...especially when I travel.

(22) mordi, June 30, 2010 6:13 PM

love it

Shabbat is the one thing i really try to observe especially by attending Friday night and Saturday morning services, even though i fall short once the Saturday farbrungen meal is over. What really appeals to me in your lesson is that you can wish " Shabbat Shalom " on Wednesday. Or why not any time of the week ? I can't remember how it works : Sunday is one day after Shabbat, Monday is two days after, Tuesday three days before and then Wednesday is two days before and Thursday is one day before. My question to you is whether one is okay to say " Shabbat Shalom " instead of "Shavua Tov " and " Shalom Aleicham " ? I know that all three have different connotations, but Shabbat is the one that is closer to my mind than the other two. I would not replace " Shana Tova " or Yom Tov " as those are special occasions, and " Shabbat Shalom " would seem out of place. If you can answer, i would be appreciative. I am not looking to stand out. But rather to let others know where my head is at. It is secondary that i will be asked why i say " Shabbat Shalom ", and give the reason, and why it is singular for me, and helps with my attempts to be observant during the week.

(21) Shmuel, June 30, 2010 5:26 PM

A desire to connect

I think you did not emphasize this point enough. The one who initiates the ‘bageling’ apparently has some desire or need to connect. It stems from the ‘pintele Yid’, deep recess of Jewish identity within a person. Why else would they have made the comment? This call should elicit a response. Sometimes, it can lead to great opportunities, as indicated by some of the other comments to this video, Minimally, it confirms the fact that another Jew is recognized/confirmed for what he is, irrespective of layers of culture and assimilation that may be obscuring the Jew within.

(20) bruce, June 30, 2010 8:43 AM

convincing

That was nice.She's so convincing or reassuring.,whatever, it was nice.

(19) Anonymous, June 30, 2010 2:23 AM

Bageling in reverse

This reminds me of an experience about 30 years ago. I had had a difficult driving to Pittsburgh on the Pa. Turnpike due to car problems. After visiting my daughter, I was returning to NJ when I panicked before the tunnels. I could not drive through them. It was a Sunday, 4th of July. There must have been hundreds of people at the rest stop. I approached one one family whose men were wearing kippot. and explained my problem. A woman said she would drive me through the tunnels and meet her family at the rest stop after the tunnels. While driving we spoke and realized we had been at the same shul on Shabbat when my son-in-law had read Torah.. I will never forget her kindness.

(18) David, June 29, 2010 11:00 PM

So that's what it was called...

Back in 1970, when I returned from military training, my friends had a picnic for me and a young lady was one of the guests. Neither of us were quick to make the first move to break the ice, and then it happened - she made a reference to liking (insert a brand name of obvious Jewish origin) rye bread the best, and the rest is history... almost 37 years of marriage! All because of a little rye bread "bageling!"

(17) Karen, June 29, 2010 10:01 PM

Or they come from New York

New Yorkers schlep, have chutzpah, wish their neighbors "Gut Shabos" whether they are Jewish or not. Bageliing is the NY language. As the comedian Lenny Bruce said, "New Yorkers are Jewish even if they are goyish."

(16) ruth housman, June 29, 2010 8:28 PM

a new word for me!

I think I missed an opportunity yesterday to bagel. I was sitting in the expansive offices of not just the eye doctor but dermatology and a woman sat down. She look slightly Hispanic and I thought, she's really beautiful. Then I saw her purse, and it was a sling purse with Hebrew letters that spelled SHALOM and there was a dove on that purse. I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was, so beautiful, and I surmised she's Jewish! I wish I had broken my shyness to talk to her, and especially to admire that very wonderful purse.

(15) yehudit levy, June 29, 2010 6:27 PM

Why Bageling?

How come it's called bageling? Because we run rings around each other? Or maybe because we are such a hole-y people? And then where does the lox fit into all this, as in: if you are ever stuck in LOX airport, you can just bagel and then salmon-one Jewish will come to smoke you out? This is WAY too much fun... thanks for dishing!

(14) hagit, June 29, 2010 5:05 PM

THANK YOU LORI-I AM STILL SMILING TO MYSELF

I AM FROM ISRAEL AND I FEEL THAT IN OTHER COUNTRIES WHEN I VISIT AND SOMEBODY IS CLEARLY JEWISH OR AN ISRAELY-IT IS SO TRUE -IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY IF YOU CAME TO SPEAK AT "ETAI"-OUR ENGLISH TEACHERS CONVENTION HELD IN JERUSALEM- TODA RABA FROM HAGIT

(13) anon, June 29, 2010 4:17 PM

what next

. It is a nice exchange when someone says something so that they can connect, it's nice to respond in kind and with a warm smile. Thank G-d there are still bagelers but the one word, one line connection, what do they do next. What do we do next to encourage a next step. Bageling happened to me and I got so excited and I followed up with a short conversation that resulted in doing a mitzvah for the person, so maybe the person's next step will be more active than expressive. His part of the tribe will be more participatory, the person will grow from bageling. Today is Tisha b'av, we need mitzvohs, we need to connect and reach out in return.

(12) Tracey, June 29, 2010 2:59 PM

Bageling and beyond

If you live in NYC, everyone is Jewish...or if you live here long enough, you'll pick up on certain "shibboleths" and use them without knowing why, e.g. my anthropology professor from Minnesota named "Twig Johnson" who used the word "nosh" during a lecture. (His pronunciation was very Minnesotan...more like "nawsh" than "nahsh.") My mom used to use the word "lansman." If someone was Jewish, they'd pick up on it. If not, the other party would let it pass. In my experience, I've had someone come up to me at work (in a rather gentile neighborhood) who said "I understand you're the Jewish librarian." I didn't know what to make of this, so I said "Do you mean 'Are you the librarian in charge of Judaica or you're the librarian who happens to be Jewish?'" He smiled and said "Jewish." He then revealed himself to be Jewish, too, although he kept it under wraps because his mother had told him to (and he was in his 80s!) I became his friend and confidant after that. He is now of blessed memory and I won't forget our little connection.

(11) Rachel Botbol, June 29, 2010 2:40 PM

Hi Lori, This u-tube, bageling, really hit home. It is so true. I am also so proud of being Jewish and wherever we are, there is always a strong feeling of togetherness when you see another Jewish person. My husband and I live in Eretz Yisrael B'Hashem, so everyone around us practically, is Jewish. That is another absolute magnificence of living here. When I leave, then I really feel so grateful for every Jewish person I see. I have always felt strongly about this but have never been able to put it into words. You sure did it for me. I must tell you that I always enjoy your videos. Thank you so much! Rachel

(10) Anonymous, June 29, 2010 2:36 PM

i didn't realise it has a name but when i was still living in England, i used to go to dances where there were a lot of Jews but not everyone was. My test was if the boy i was dancing with asked me what my magen david necklace was, i realised he wasn't Jewish.

(9) Anonymous, June 29, 2010 2:24 PM

The bageler wants contact.

I think there may be something more in bageling. Could it be that the one making contact (the bageler?) is actually asking for something? Is s/he saying, "I'm open to a non-threatening contact with an observant Jew. Teach me something or maybe invite me." If this is true, it means that we have to react carefully and sensitively.

(8) Guy Sutton, June 29, 2010 1:18 PM

I LOVE it

I would have to say that most men do not wear a necklace, but I do, and with SOOO much LOVE!!! It is with my sterling silver little Star of David that my great grandmother gave me. I was in Toronto giving a pep talk to a group of medical folks and on day 3, it waas casual and so my necklace was visable for the first time, I had 36 people come up to me and tell me Shabbbos Shalom!(It was Friday, unlike your husband Lori, tee hee)but I tell you, the feeling was so warm and 12 of us went out for a kosher meal that evening!!! It was so awesome.... So, a little Bageling, as Martha Stewart might say, "It's a GOOD thing!". Great story Lori, as usual!!!! Shalom my friend

(7) Leah, June 29, 2010 6:24 AM

Couldn't agree more, I love being a religious Jew and what you mention about having somewhere to go if G-d forbid something happens is a main reason. We are really a big family that looks out for one another. There is nothing like being Jewish.

(6) sharon, June 28, 2010 9:01 PM

old joke

there's an old joke about a man who's car broke down, so he stopped on the side of the road, put his kippa on and waited. within 30 seconds another Jew stopped to help him. they started talking and it turns out that the guy with the broken car is not Jewish, so the Jew asked him why are you wearing a kippa? so he answered: Mama always told me that if I ever get stuck, I should put this thing on my head and very quickly someone will come to help.

(5) Eric, June 28, 2010 2:23 PM

Good article, but....

This article only applies to Diaspora Jews. Totally diff. for those of us who made Aliyah or were fortunate enough to have been born in the Holy Land. You don't have to "bagel" - assuming people are Jewish is the default.

(4) , June 28, 2010 12:37 AM

I liked this "Almost Live" because it speaks to me the way bageling does. That I have been doing for a long time. I like using words that are not in mainstream when some don't even know they are Yiddish or Hebrew languages. It is this wonderful club and a belonging that is like no other. I love you humor and have to get in on the podcasts after the fact as they are archived. For some reason I can never get in on the "live" ones. Still good, though and I learn so much. Thank you. Kathy

(3) Gavin-Chaim Marsden, June 27, 2010 11:34 PM

What a privelege-from a Bagel

Lori I am proud to be Jewish.I wander if part of that pride stems from the fact that we have a State of Israel.We are a people,with a Torah and a homeland.For 2000 years we were not able to say that complete sentence.We are blessed to have teachers like you who remind us in your ever so warm way that been Jewish is multifaceted,dynamic and inspirational.It is the key to the present and the answer to eternity.The joy of our souls is found in the pages of Torah,the prayers of the synagogue(or heart) and in the holiness of family purity.Hashem expects high standards from us but if we we fall,teshuva brings us right back to that Heavenly Throne.Awe of Hashem is expected but love of Hashem is commanded.

(2) James Katz, June 27, 2010 3:23 PM

bageling

Lori, I've always wondered what the actual term was for the definition we perform every day. You got it right, we're all the same team; we're all in it together. In response to comment 1 by Anonymous, the closest Orthodox community is 4.5 hours away. The college town I live in consists of less than 7 Orthodox and Conservative Jews who travel 1 hour to get to the conservative synagogue (which is the closest synagogue). Whenever we see each other we all do our bageling. And yeah, there are christians around who know some terms, but they don't really use them unless they're trying to proselytize.

(1) Anonymous, June 27, 2010 2:27 PM

Who speaks the lingo

Lori with you in a Jewish community it's different than when we aren't. You already know they are Jewish, and speaking the same language is connecting to each other. In a non Jewish community it's different. I would say those that speak the lingo are the ones that are not Jewish, they are Christians who have picked up on the lingo. There is a lot of Christians that read David Stern's translation The Jewish Bible. I'm saying that in a non Jewish community we do not talk the lingo, we do not bring attention to ourselves, we have a kindred spirit, we acknowledge it by a look, a smile, a nod. And anyone talking the Jewish lingo, we know are Christians. Just didn't want anyone to be deceived in thinking just because some talks the talk, doesn't mean they are one of you.

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

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Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Bageling

Hey! I'm a member of the tribe too!

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