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Battle of the Bulge
Salomon Says

Battle of the Bulge

Is it okay to tell your friend to lose weight?


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Published: December 15, 2012

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Visitor Comments: 41

(33) Anonymous, January 26, 2014 8:23 PM

No! We need to keep our mouths shut tight when it comes to this issue. Yes, there is an obesity problem in this country. However, the issue of weight loss is between the individual and his/her physician. If the individual wants to talk to me about this challenge, I am here to listen without judgment. FWIW--I have been struggling with my own weight loss issues for nearly a decade, and would be greatly offended if someone told me to lose weight. I am working at getting to a healthy weight, and I know I will get there with patience and persistence. The busy bodies in our midst need to mind their own business!!

(32) D.Gold, December 24, 2013 1:46 PM

Don't do it.....

I have to agree with CD Urbach. Nothing you say to someone overweight is going to change or inspire them. It will only strain your relationship and maybe end it. The Torah also commands that we Treat others as we wish to be treated. As CD says, overweight people know it. You might inspire them or anger them to do something in the short term but as the anger subsides, we'll all go back to our bad habits. The Dali Lama went into a pizza place and said, "Make me one with Everything". When he asked the cashier for change, the cashier responded, "Change must come from within."

By the way, Anonymous, the Rabbi didn't advocate us hurting another Jew, he asked our opinion for great discussion.

(31) Sharon, September 5, 2013 6:22 PM


I am short and have had a weight problem all my life.4"11, 212pd. Prayed, fasted all food for a straight 30 days. And still fat. I'm soon to be 55 years old. So came to the realization I'm not going to loose this weight. This is who I am.

(30) C.D.Urbach, January 27, 2013 4:05 AM

Everyone Owns Mirrors

Telling someone to lose weight is like pointing out the size of their nose or shape of their ears. Trust me, they KNOW. And if they aren't aware of the health risks connected to weight IN 2013, they are living with their heads in the sand,and will ignore you anyway. And last but not least, ask any overweight person what they would do if someone reminded them about their weight....they would probably go and EAT!(I am not saying it's practical -- just likely) A rabbi once MADE AN APPOINTMENT with someone I know JUST TO LET THEM KNOW THEY WERE GAINING WEIGHT. She was so mad, she went home and ATE!

(29) miry, December 30, 2012 2:44 PM

losing weight

I don't think that I would mention this to a freind, she knows that she has to lose weight . For some it's a lifetime struggle and they are very self concious about it I think that by telling your freind "you have to lose weight " It's like youre adding fuel to the fire. Every person wants to be accepted how she is looks , personality... If she would mention that she wants to go to a support group or to a diet group I would defiinetly encourage her and push her to join

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