Get latest articles and videos with Jewish
inspiration and insights
What is the value of spending our time on lost causes?
In trying to save a life, Rabbi Nehemia Lavi paid with his life.
The heart of the entire Jewish people is broken.
A recent spate of offensive statements and images are being excused as shockingly dumb errors.
Boycotting the narrow-minded bigotry of a creative genius.
Henry Gallant was a passenger on the doomed SS St. Louis that fled Nazi Germany but was refused entry.
Taking a picture is not the same thing as experiencing a moment. In fact it’s a way of forgetting.
My husband wants me to join him at a business-related party, I want to stay at home to complete my work.
The BBC’s initial report on the recent Israeli murders left me speechless.
Why Jewish burial is important — for you and the soul of the departed.
My path to Judaism began with the question: What would Jesus do?
The holidays are over. Here’s how to hold onto the light.
All we have is right now, this moment.
Children develop necessary skills and character traits by encountering and overcoming failure.
Two pivotal ideas about Sukkot.
The relationship may have failed but you’re not a failure.
And how to leap over them.
Yes, you can build chemistry! Here are 8 ways to go about it.
If God is good, why is the world so bad?
Israel Independence Day is the time to ask: Where have we been, and where are we heading?
Beyond the Lullaby Effect: Reading the Bible with open eyes.
Practical and relevant insights on the weekly parsha.
Advanced-level midrashic and Kabbalistic illuminations on the weekly parsha.
Lessons, stories and discussion questions for parents and kids.
How my father’s journey from Santa Claus to a gift-lugging dog in a drainpipe led me to Judaism, sort of.
The Hanukkah battle isn’t over. We fight with light.
Candlelight burning so bright. You can’t ever take my light.
Dispelling five myths that block us from connecting to God.
Apple is making an aggressive play for the Jewish cell phone market. Goodbye Siri, hello Shira.
It’s tough, being a work-at-home husband.
What is the most ridiculous Jewish stereotype you have ever heard?
This Rosh Hashanah, make the connection. A stirring video to share with friends.
You won’t believe what this man says about being an Israeli Jew.
The most fateful moment in my life came when I asked myself, “Who am I?” This is my answer.
June 1, 2013
June 7, 2013 5:05 PM
I love and agree with what Mrs. Palatnik says about love and respect. My question is there scripture that speaks on this subject?
June 7, 2013 12:59 PM
Honestly, one cannot exist without the other. I could not love someone who did not respect me. Conversely, I could not love someone whom I did not respect. A previous commenter mentioned that love without respect is merely lust. I agree with THAT sentiment 100%.
June 5, 2013 10:35 PM
This time you ar not right, Lori
Real love includes respect also.Love is as important to a man as it is to a woman.And a man as well as a woman Needs to be respected.A woman is not a child. For a child it is importaant that itis loved. The woman, like the man, needs to be respectedalso.There is a beautiful word that includes both sides.APPRECIATION: Of course, this is a generalization too. There my well be other cases. -
June 5, 2013 2:46 PM
I love and respect you! Great clip. Thank you.
June 5, 2013 9:20 AM
marriage is based first on love and naturally respect from both sides
June 5, 2013 5:01 AM
Agree with Lori
I'm respected in my family, friends and at work but not loved as a woman wants to be loved. I absolutely understand what Lori says. Married or not married, women want to be loved.
June 5, 2013 3:04 AM
With all due respect, I disagree.
I am a woman. I remember a marriage therapist making the point that contempt will kill a marriage faster than any attitude in marriage. Contempt is the opposite of respect. Lack of respect means taking for granted a person to a high degree. According to Merriam Webster online(MW) the antonym of respect is dissatisfaction, disregard, disliking, disgust, aversion, disenchantment, displeasure plus MW on line includes condemnation, disapproval, disdain, opprobrium, scorn; disappointment, discontent, disgruntlement, disillusionment, indignation, unhappiness; contempt, disfavor, disinclination, dislike, distaste; hate, hatred, loathing, nausea, repugnance, repulsion, revulsion; abomination, antipathy, detestation; deprecation, - as versus respect defined as consideration, high or special regard: esteem, the quality or state of being esteemed, expressions of high or special regard, or deference. Therefore given these adjectives, regardless of whether one is a man or a woman, I think respect is required in a marriage, or the marriage will end.
June 5, 2013 10:35 AM
Contempt would be rare, probably only near, or at dissolution
Contempt is so seldom to be seen; for, contempt betrays disgust with one's self, also, . . . for having gotten into such a predicament that, odium could appear in natural response. Either party might not experience contempt, but still and all, be without respect. But in actuality of an opposite, mere unthankfulness becomes a way to convey lack of tender regard and respect is so common.
But more directly upon the topic, any man's need for respect is perhaps best expressed in the pronouncement for self spoken by the ancient Nebuchanezzar: "Is not this, Great Babylon, . . . which I have made?". A married man has sense of empire and which he needs his consort also, to subscribe; and, even in boyhood is the need for feminine affirmation, much in evidence. And girls? Girls are not that way. And in womanhood, if a man disdains or spurns a woman, the woman easily holds anger and considers that man as some kind of fool; but if a woman shows herself to hold the same lack toward a man, the man is close to being entirely crushed. This was shown in the story of Israel's first king, and of course, eventually, that's just what happened to him, . . . he was crushed.
Yes, in the ways pointed to, men and women are most different, . . . but yet, as opposite sides of one coin, . . .
June 9, 2013 4:42 AM
I am female and I prefer respect as does my husband, only because love is a given
As always important to think about
June 4, 2013 9:09 PM
Beautifully said. And it is so true!
June 4, 2013 7:55 PM
how can you feel loved by someone who doesn't respect you? Doesn't showing love include showing respect? (although it is possible to respect someone without love, but that would be sad in a marriage for either a man or a woman- both for the one who isn't loved and for the one who doesn't feel love)
June 4, 2013 7:47 PM
I suppose all generalizations are false, including both this one and Mrs. Palatnik's, but, having said that, I do think there's something to this. Thanks for the thought!
June 4, 2013 5:40 PM
There is no love without respect!
Love without respect is just lust.
June 3, 2013 9:05 AM
Lori is saying both
Clearly Lori is talking about needing both love and respect,one being primary.And that differs for men and women.I think that you are spot on Lori.
June 4, 2013 8:28 PM
Not to the point
It does not make a difference, what the perspective is of the object of the love and/or respect, that I commented on and I thought I said it,
Where the video is off the mark is its implication that it is possible for a man to love a woman without respecting her.
June 2, 2013 11:08 PM
Since I am a male (married 30 years) I'll take your word that a woman puts love first.However it is my view (and I assume the Talmud's also) that a man cannot honestly love his wife unless he respects her. Please address this comment in the future. Thanks.
June 2, 2013 7:30 PM
I couldn't imagine not being respected by my husband
How can you love someone really without respect? I couldn't love a man I couldn't respect. I couldn't feel loved by a man who looked down on me. I usually agree with you Lori but I think you missed one here.
June 4, 2013 7:38 PM
I think respect is primary for everyone
I love my dog. She is sweet & affectionate. I even respect her as a dog, as I used to tell my children when they were younger and sometimes treated her like something else (a stuffed toy, or a cat.)
But I don't want someone to love me without respecting me first. I have always respected my husband, my children, etc. As for acquaintances, if I don't respect them, there's no way we're going to become friends.
I was once very ill. I soon realized that for all the care and attention given to me by healthcare workers, many of them DID NOT seem to respect me. They seemed to think that because I'd had a stroke, I was now not very smart. It was the most horrible thing I've ever felt in my life. Even when early in my recovery I was having trouble expressing myself, I was still an intelligent, educated, sensitive person. When I hear people talking to the elderly or disabled as if they're children, it makes my skin crawl, even if the person is otherwise being treated kindly and carefully.
Of course, if one wants respect, one should behave respectfully. But if I treat my husband with respect and then he treated me like a sweet little idiot, that would put the marriage in jeopardy immediately. I can live with occasional lapses in "lovingness", but I will not live with someone who does not respect me.
Display my name?
Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.