Video: Never Too Late

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Published: June 25, 2011

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Visitor Comments: 18

(17) Anonymous, August 2, 2011 1:58 PM

Girl... you have it sooo together... Thank you:)

(16) Josey, July 4, 2011 6:19 PM

I agree 100%

I began my Ba'al Tshuva journey at the age of 50. My kids, now 19 & 21 would roll their eyes at me every time I told one of my many hashkacha pratice stories. Last summer my son told me he didn't believe in G-d and would argue about evolution and free will, etc. NOW - he's at Ohr Sameach in Jerusalem, totally frum and with his own hashkacha pratice stories! It's a long story how this came to be, but like Lori said - it's never too late! Now I'm working on my daughter. Lots of davening! Lori - how about a trip for frum mothers with secular daughters??? Please???

(15) Anonymous, July 3, 2011 7:41 PM

wow

so very inspiring

(14) Esther, June 29, 2011 2:00 PM

terrific advice

Lori has such a nice non-judgmental way about her and I agree with this philosophy entirely. Davening to Hashem also helps when you want to make changes.Never give up, Hashem doesn't.

(13) Mary Ruth, June 28, 2011 9:44 PM

I will not give up.

I needed to hear this affirmation today. Thank you for addressing this difficult subject. I am a convert to Judaism in a family of non Jews, so I am always being challenged. Thank you again for saying, "Don't give up on your children, and especially, don't give up on yourself."

(12) mordi, June 28, 2011 8:25 PM

sound byte

It's never too late ! Yes we can !

(11) Aura Slovin, June 28, 2011 4:34 PM

Parents...don't ever underestimate your power!!!!

Was not able to view this video Lori but the message is so important. As a single Mom who had to work two jobs to support myself and my son I can really relate to a lot of the previous comments. During Teenage and young adult years when our offspring need to spread 'their wings" I found it very helpful not to 'believe and trust everything my son said - especially when said in anger and resentment. It is extremely hard after all the sweat, tears, effort, self-deprivation, limitless love we shower on our children to have them grow to adulthood w. 'mean, selfish charachter traits on full display especially towards their parent(s). I have seen over and over again that our children will respond to our love, caring and affection. If not now then have patience it will happen sooner or later! Parents do not realize the tremendous power and influence they have on their children. Especially if the 'growing up years' were 'good' years of good memories and good times. Even if these good times were not as frequent as we would wish, children pick up keenly on the effort and intent of their primary caregiver and learn from example - most often the 'walk as well as the talk'. I believe in praying for one's offspring is critical to their success in this world. G-D is the partner along .w Mom and Dad in creation of this special soul. Appealing to him to help guide our children and keep them safe is critical. Remembering to leave the light on for them and show them how much you care.....the rest will come....in due time!!!!!

(10) Benjamin, June 28, 2011 3:00 PM

Great Message!!!!!

Thank you for this simple yet inspiring message. When my wife and I became mitzvah-observant we also became the "black sheep" in our respective families. Now, almost 20 years later, my parents have a renewed respect for our choices and they themselves attend weekly classes in an Orthodox synagogue. Lori -- your words ring very true in my household. And with a son who has not embraced our observance I know that my efforts to keep trying to influence him will not be lost. Hey, I've got the ultimate "Big Guy" on my side!

(9) Leah, June 28, 2011 1:55 PM

Toda Robbah Lori

I am very thankful for this video today. I let my daughter walk out at 18 because legally I couldn't make her stay home. She completed university (with negative peer influences of alcohol, narcissism, and disrespect for parents). She had been a wonderful child in every way until about 16 y/o when peers took a toll. I was a single mom, well educated and having to work a lot to support us. She is a very different person: very materialistic, vindictive, disregards my feelings- the absolute opposite of me. I keep shomer shabbos. I feel I have forever lost my child, that she is someone else. Now she is marrying a man (who seems nice), is 14 years older than her, a doctor, and a GOY. He believes in (higher power of some kind). I should invite them for Shabbot. Wonder if he'd leave work early for this? I do know that what I tell my daughter sinks in later. I hope sooner than later. Thanks again Lori.

(8) Donna, June 28, 2011 12:51 PM

Don't forget the grandkids!

Thank you, Lori, for all the powerful messages. Having "been there, and done that" (the wrong things), I can attest to everything you said. However, I'd like to add one thing and that is that even though we may or may not be successful with our grown child(ren), we also serve as role models for our grandchildren. Now, after about 9 years of being frum, my son and daughter-in-law have come a long way in terms of respect for my new choices in life, but they have not started on that path themselves. But along comes my grandchildren, especially my granddaughter, who will be 12 at the end of this secular year. And where does she want to be for her bas mitzvah? Yes, that's right - in Israel, where her grandmother (me) and frum aunt, uncle and cousins live. Will her parents want the same things? I keep hoping, but whatever happens, I'll keep trying to be the best kind of influence I can be. Lori is right: don't ever give up. Beautiful things can happen. Thank you Lori for all the chizuk.

(7) Charlotte, June 28, 2011 11:49 AM

Thank You!!

AWESOME!! Just the reaffirmation I needed!! I would be one of the "older" women who wishes I knew "back then" what i know now!! Thanks Lori!

(6) Memucha W., June 28, 2011 10:27 AM

Never give up

Thank you Lori, I love to drum this message in my family, with my friends and my counselling clients. You said it beautifully and if only more people internalize this message, we can learn to do teshuva on mass, "it's never too late", and bring about the coming of Moshiach in our time.

(5) victor sam'an, June 28, 2011 9:30 AM

It is never too late

Very interesting, useful and informative. I like to read it. Where can I find it in Amman/Jordan "God Never Give Up On Us".

(4) shellie berman grafstein, June 27, 2011 5:25 PM

Lori is talking about my family

Lori must be talking about my family. My parents starting studying with Aish when they were in their 70s. Within months, 3 of their children were learning Torah and after a few more months, my parents, and the 3 kids were frum. Two of the families live in Israel now. It took courage on the part of my parents, but I am eternally grateful they took the first step to lead us in the right direction.

(3) Beverly Kurtin, June 26, 2011 8:46 PM

So true, so true

Lori, you are SO right. But I have learned over the years that regretting what you have done in the past is a total waste of time. I made many mistakes that I wish I hadn’t. But I did! The WORST thing anyone can do is kick themselves over and over again for making mistakes. When I was working, I had a sign over my desk that read “ACCURACY IS MY MISTAKE, I NEVER MAKE A MOTTO.” It always amused me that people would take one look at that and get a look on their faces that showed disapproval. I simply asked them to read it again, slowly. That gave them a laugh, broke the ice and we could get down to business. Show me a parent who never made mistakes and I’ll show you a liar. None of us are perfect. Because I was gone much of my kid’s growing up time (my ex was a stay at home dad because he couldn’t earn a living if his life depended on it) selling post-graduate text books. The time is gone and there is no way of recovering it. At three score and ten, it is too late to really change my adult children how to think, but I do try. I always have something nice about Israel or inform them of another BIG LIE of the Arabs, etc. So it takes a bit of time, what else am I going to do? Regrets? Oh heck yes, I’ve got them by the bushel. But I can’t change the past. Life is too short to kvetch and moan and groan over opportunities missed, keep moving forward and when you can, drop off something you didn’t say when your children were young.

(2) Ester Mina Silinsky, June 26, 2011 8:03 PM

A Real Booster Shot in the Arm...

Thanks for this much needed booster shot - because children are such a long term investment, it's easy to just lose sight -far sight and foresight. When we are myopically caught in the moment, something like this just brings us right back into focus. Thanks so much!!!!

(1) Anonymous, June 26, 2011 12:49 PM

great advice on hope!

That was great advice on hope! I am willing to find the right Jewish lifetime partner, even though I am still single and almost 30 and still living at home with my parents while I have Asperger syndrome and it is difficult for me socially to form a mutually bonding and meaningful relationship with someone (thinking I'm too socially "defective"). However, since I am still relatively young, it may not be too late for me to find the right Jewish woman. Therefore, my social "shortcomings" and challenges shouldn't trump my overall niceties and chivalry (as well as my usual sensitivity).

Beverly Kurtin, June 26, 2011 8:54 PM

Asperger's

Hi, Anon! My adult niece who lives with me and her mom, has Asperger's as well. Despite the fact that she is going on 50, she has decided to go back to school for her Ph.D. in Psychology. If there is an Asperger's group in your area, try to attend. I know how difficult it has to be for you to socialize as us "norms" do, but doggone it your are not in any way "defective," socially or otherwise. Because of my niece's Asperger's she, like you, think in a different way, so you can see things that others do not. Her professors are using some of her observations as class material! All because of people with Asperger's can see things we "norms" don't. I keep learning things from her that are mind blowing. I'm sometimes a tad envious of your abilities that the rest of the world doesn't have. At your young age, I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that you are going to have a very interesting and fulfilling life. Hashem has made you very special, be proud of that. Big hugs to you!

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About the Author

Mrs. Lori Palatnik

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Lori Palatnik is a writer and Jewish educator who has appeared on television and radio, and is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond: The Shabbat Experience Step-By-Step," "Remember My Soul - What to do in Memory of a Loved One," and co-author of "Gossip: 10 Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul." She is a much sought-after international speaker, having lectured in the U.S., Canada, Mexico, U.K., Central America, South America, South Africa and Israel, including featured talks at Yale, Brown and Penn. She lives in the Washington D.C. area, with her husband, Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik. Lori is the Founder of The Jewish Women's Renaissance Project, an international initiative that brings over 1,000 women to Israel each year from ten different countries on highly subsidized programs to inspire them with the beauty and wisdom of their heritage. She is the busy mother of five children, ages 24 to 14; and her son, Zev, just finished serving as a sharpshooter in the IDF. Her weekly video blog, "Lori Almost Live" is a popular feature on aish.com, viewed by over 50,000 people each month.

Follow Lori on Twitter, @LoriAlmostLive

Never Too Late

Don't underestimate the influence you can still have on your children.

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