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The Great Facebook Bribe

The Great Facebook Bribe

Should a parent bribe a child not to use Facebook?

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Visitor Comments: 16

(16) SusanE, February 24, 2013 6:51 PM

Kid wanted money and Didn't want to work for it.

The daughter was asking for money. She didn't want to do any work for it. Heck, I'll quit Twitter for a month if you give me $200. Pay me Pay me, Daddy, for doing nothing. That's a lot easier than shoveling 20 sidewalks for $10 bucks each.......... isn't it Rabbi?

(15) Dov, February 17, 2013 6:53 PM

What's next?

While I applaud this young lady's recognition that her participation in social media was interfering with her grades, I am aghast that her father would succumb to her manipulation. What's next? Will she ask her father to pay her to abstain from having sex when she starts dating? He should simply have said that he was proud that she recognized the need for self-restraint in order to achieve a more important goal, and let her figure out a solution on her own that didn't involve extorting money from him. (even though he offered-it's still manipulation)

(14) Deirdre, February 16, 2013 1:48 AM

Teach your children

I teach my sons about everything-the more you hide from your children the more they will want to explore-if you teach your children to fear-they will hide things from you forever!

(13) Mike Brooks, February 14, 2013 4:54 PM

I would NEVER pay my child for this

Rabbi: I feel that discipline is not served by renumeration. I have 3 adult daughters who all have facebook accounts. However, were they still children under my roof, I would have an in-home network with a server that blocked facebook altogether. I very much share your concern over this issue. I don't claim to have the answers. I am not going to tell my adult daughers how to live their lives. One has already ruined her life but that's another issue for another time.

(12) devorah, February 13, 2013 9:03 PM

Here's how I read this

I don't really disagree with Reb Yaakov's premise, as it is; however, I don't - respectfully - see how it necessarily applies to the case in the news story. If he tells it right and I am reading between the lines accurately, the initiative came from the daughter and was not offered by the father. The father was approached by his daughter and the father choose to accept the proposition. I don't hear where the father had a strong opinion one way or the other on having a Facebook acct. Rather, he encouraged his daughter to follow through on a decision that would have been very challenging, with a moderate amount of monetary payoff to keep her on target. I see a parallel in, say a person who wants/needs desperately to lose weight, though as we know this can be one thing to want and quite another to commit to. Plenty of people in helping a family member to diet will promise an incentive such as money, clothes, a trip, whatever, to motivate in the same way. Facebook, as so many other internet preoccupations, is highly addictive (proven). How praiseworthy that this honor student began to recognize the dangerous situation she was stuck in, and came up with an idea that only dear-ol-Dad could oblige with. I don't see it as manipulative, although I obviously was not there and cannot know if the events leading up to the "bribe" included a fight with the Dad, after which daughter said, "So pay me then!" But neither does Reb Yaakov know. So how can we misjudge?

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