Video: Thumbs Down Redux

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Published: June 8, 2013

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Visitor Comments: 15

(13) Dvirah, June 24, 2013 5:21 PM

Alternative Solution

Why not just complain to the restaurant (via its manager or owner)? After all, since your purpose must be to improve the service, shouldn't your "review" be directed towards those who can make a change and prevent such unpleasant experiences in that environment? And since this option is certainly also available, isn't it better from the Torah point of view to "rebuke your neighbor" rather than ruin him financially via what is essentially gossip?

(12) Margarita, June 17, 2013 4:23 PM

nothing wrong with the review

as my life has pushed me in the direction of inernet shopping and there are many places where we can buy things without ability to try or return it - more and more i read reviews. it is true to say that not all the reviews are the same, but, like any other information, i read it, apply my experiences (which i call common sense, and it works for me) and use it appropriately. there would be no website that allows people to post their comments without someone writing something negative and your talks, i am sure, are no different. but we know, apply our expriences, agree or disagree but continue to listen to your talks. further, negative comments are often thought provoking, so they serve their purpose too. and btw, i do have a Rabbi and he is brilliant :)

(11) Bud, June 17, 2013 3:51 AM

Yes you should not do it on Line....

If you have a problem with some one then that is one on one 1st then if it can not be handled you need an outside person to mediate for the 2 of you but never take your problem or some others on line Keep them between you and GOD and trust that he will take care of it for you maybe not always the way we think but always in the best way Amen

(10) Anonymous, June 16, 2013 1:38 AM

What happened?

What happened ? Being so vague prevents a full understanding of what you decided.

(9) Joe Yavitch, June 14, 2013 8:16 PM

Disagree with the Rabbi's views

This still makes no sense to me. In fact for a people who have written, codified and studied our arguments for years, it seems odd to now be told we can only offer an opinion if we are 100% sure of our motives. Seems like we would have stopped writing, learning and speaking years ago if that were true.

(8) Rabbi Mark, June 14, 2013 3:21 PM

No caveat emptor

I am not a believer in caveat emptor (let the buyer beware). I want to know if a restaurant has sub-standard food and/or service. One concern, however, is not being malicious. I try not to say anything, whether in conversation or print, that I would not say to the person or institution's face.

(7) Anonymous, June 13, 2013 8:30 PM

Jewish wisdom

I admire the service you render,also to non-jews like I am,to make jewish wisdom interpreted by a Rabby available.

(6) Bill, June 13, 2013 6:24 PM

speak to proprietor

Opinion from a person admittedly deficient in Torah education. Seems to me it would be best to first to the proprietor or management perhaps problems can be resolved and help the business. Also in food service there can be bad days so perhaps a second chance would be in order after talking to management. Even then confirmation from others might be sought before writing review as opinions can vary and this could be a check on your own motivations.

(5) Terry, June 13, 2013 4:44 PM

Take it up with the restaurant manager!

I agree with your rabbi.....but now I'm wondering what he would say about discussing the issue(s) directly with the restaurant manager or writing him/her a letter, not for publication, about your experience there????

(4) Anonymous, June 9, 2013 9:26 PM

opinion about daasTorah??!

I have a real problem with the idea of Joe/Jane Doe having an opinion about daas Torah! Will you ask your 5-year-old what he thought about his rebbi's lesson about the parsha? Is his a legitimate opinion? The Rabbi has spent countless hours and weeks and years learning and integrating the Torah viewpoint. Would one express an opinion disagreeing with a leading brain surgeon when one has absolutely no medical background? It's ludicrous! In seminary we were taught: Don't walk through the Torah with your muddy boots.

usermeme, June 14, 2013 8:40 AM

You don't have to be an expert...

Anonymous said, "Would one express an opinion disagreeing with a leading brain surgeon when one has absolutely no medical background? It's ludicrous! In seminary we were taught: Don't walk through the Torah with your muddy boots." C'mon now and think about what you said. In one example, you give a small child's ability to make a "legitimate opinion" on a Rabbi's parasha lesson. Then you continue with the above with a someone with "...absolutely no medical background..." going up agaisnt a brain surgeon's opinion. these two examples are essentially the ignorant versus the expert. However, you continue with the much more important statement, "In seminary wer were taught..." AHA!! suddenly we are no longer dealing with ignorant vs. expert, but rather someone with lesser knowledge/experience vs. expert!! This now gives validity to BOTH parties, not just to the expert! After all, the "experts" have managed to take a simple passage of "Do not boil a baby goat in its mothers milk" and in deference to common sense, exploded it into a labyrinth of burdensome "laws".

(3) Sharon, June 9, 2013 5:29 PM

disagree on both counts

First of all, if you see room for improvement, whether it be more waiters, more generous portions, or other, you should first advise the owner or manager of this point of view. If he acts quickly, he may be able to improve and save his business. If not, he's going to lose his business soon whether you post your opinion or not. You certainly are going to advise your friends not to waste their time or money, so posting seems is just an extension of that. If the the owner is foolish enough to ignore complaints of this nature, he doesn't respect his clients and deserves to lose his business.
I would never think of asking a Rav this question. A person should be able to think for himself if he understands the principles of law.

(2) ross, June 9, 2013 1:16 PM

You have a smart rabbi, rabbi

We live in America. The air here is tainted. We rationalize so much that things are mitzvahs when really they are not. That's anywhere, but especially here in America where the atmosphere is so, so negative and against the values of the Torah.
We need to be so careful here.

Lisa, June 14, 2013 10:58 AM

For Sale: Ross....move out of your negative atmosphere!!

I come from Atlanta....a city that is not negative at all....so, like the Rabbi said, until you are 100% sure of what you are saying, better not say anything!!

(1) Rosen, June 9, 2013 11:59 AM

constructive criticism vs. lashan hara

It's important to keep in mind and differentiate constructive criticism from lashan hara. All too often people post TMI online, which can backfire and have a negative impact. If one feels emotionally inclined about a negative experience, then it's better to write it down in pen and paper or in a hand-written journal than to post it online. Writing it down on pen and paper will be seen by virtually no one except those who he/she wants to share it with and trusts such as a social worker, therapist, or Rabbi.

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Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

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Thumbs Down Redux

And here’s what the Rabbi said…

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