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Till 2013 Do We Part
Salomon Says

Till 2013 Do We Part

Should marriage be declared temporary?

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Published: October 9, 2011


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Visitor Comments: 14

(13) Anonymous, October 23, 2011 3:04 PM

courtship/engagement =/= marriage

Isn't that what the dating period is for? This is the time when people get to know one another, and decide whether they want a greater commitment. The engagement is an extension of that - and can go on for as long as the couple feels necessary. Marriage is designed as a lifetime commitment. People need to learn to take it seriously as such. Yes, sometimes things (and people) change, and marriage must end ... but it is based on promise for life. Anything less is exactly that - LESS.

(12) Shulamit Mallet, October 19, 2011 4:18 AM

To build trust, there has to be commitment

Dear Rabbi Salomon, I'm horrified at the idea of this 2 year "marriage" contract. Using the word marriage in this context is inappropriate. If this bill passes, which I hope it doesn't, it should be called a partnership. Marriage is an eternal commitment. We do live in a society in which everything is disposable. People forget that things that are of value are worth investment. If you look at Beraishis (Genesis), when G-d created man, man was one being. This included the male and female aspects of man. G-d gave man life as one unit. Only afterwards did G-d separate those aspects.When G-d separated man into 2 beings, G-d left each with a reminder of the other, the word "kineged" refers to this. I picture the aspects as similar to a yin/yang sign. In the male aspect, there is a reminder of the female, in the female, a reminder of the male. Together they make a whole. It's the nature of all things to try to revert back to it's natural state. We go through life looking for that other part of ourselves that will make us whole, the part that will match up to what's in our heart. But even when we find that other half, it takes work to keep that circle a whole. One of the inclinations of man is to always look for something better. If a person goes into a relationship thinking its temporary, no matter what his original intentions, he will always be looking around for something better, and if the relationship requires too much effort, dump it for the grass next door. But what happens when he realizes that there are bald patches there, too? This is obviously a tremendous danger for the Jewish religion, as it introduces many halachic issues, but society will suffer, too. The nuclear family will take an even bigger blow, and our youth will lose the stability that gives them confidence. Relationships of any kind, require work. G-d created man as one being, it's a message to us. G-d wants us to find our other half, and to develop the trust that will keep us whole. A Gut Yom Tov

(11) TMay, October 16, 2011 7:26 PM

picture

I just got the meaning of the photo attached to the title, a cut ring. Of course they don't deserve to put on a gold ring that is a circle. They deserve a fragment of a circle as their symbol, perhaps a necklace with something that looks like the bottom of a "u". That way if someone is interested they know they only need to wait a maximum of 2 years. This is not like choosing to fly coach when you could upgrade to first class. This is a whole different commitment. It should not be called marriage. People should not play around with definitions. I think the concept overlooks the children because it is not as if you can go back to "Go" and everything reverts to how it was two years earlier. If children, have come, the game is changed forever. I guess Mexico has decided that a family made up of a mother and a father is not the best way to raise a child. Personally I have always thought that when one gets the answer "whatever" that the parties discussing the subject really don't care about the issue being discussed. Raising a human child is a very long term proposition. People talk about how much longer people live, do you realize how much longer a child is dependant on a parent, given college and graduate school and higher and considering that Pres Obama said that children stay on their parents" medical insurance policy till age 27. According to life spans of previous ages that is 5 years before the children died of old age.When the govt wakes up, the next thing it will do is to require a license for humans to have children, and that is certainly not where we want to go. And with this 2 year marriage, considering that a woman can get pregnant at any time, she could be married when she gets pregnant and single when she gives birth. Some men consider pregnancy special.Others think the woman looks ugly and "fat" and impossible to live with. Is this the time we want to give him his freedom? How about when the baby is young and waking up in the middle of the night?

(10) lisa, October 16, 2011 1:02 PM

when do we expire??

I think its fine...bc if your really in love & enjoying a good solid marriage then you will subscribe for another few years...then another few years!! I dont think it's an easy out, esp if there are children involved, albeit its a re-evaluation of your current situation. It's very reflective of the times. Somehow I dont think it'll seep into the Jewish world.

(9) Beverly Kurtin, October 13, 2011 4:52 PM

It depends

Mexico is bowing to reality. 'Til death do we part was/is fine when people were typically married for 20 to 30 years prior to dying. Today we live much longer than anyone could have predicted just a few decades ago. Middle age used to start around, what, 40 to 50 years? Now it is closer to 55 to 60 years or even more. I'm 70 years young. People used to be dead long before they hit the biblical two score and ten. Social Security was written when people might live to 67 or a year or two more. Almost nobody made it to 70 or more. But today, middle age is creeping up. If it wasn't for spinal stenosis I would feel as alive as I did 20 years ago. In fact, I'm going back to work because retirement stinks. I've no days off, no weekends, no holidays...it's like being on permanent vacation at home. Had I hadn't divorced my first husband, we would have been married 50 years; that is a long time, longer than anyone could have imagined not that long ago. With more and more couples living together before they marry, the Mexican limited marriage at least makes any children born during the trial period legitimate. What is even more disgusting than temporary marriage is the corporate mindset of disposable employees. I had been working as a media specialist at a pair of radio stations when my boss came to my work station and told me that I could finish the day or go home now but I no longer had a job. I had received no notice whatsoever. The corporation wanted to hire a new DJ and to pay what he wanted, they eliminated my entire department; all told, we lost 14 research people and even my former boss had lost his job. My youngest son (now 39) had worked for one company since graduating school 21 years ago. The company kept "down sizing" but making him pick up the work of the others. Finally, he had a heart attack and as thanks for his years of loyalty, he was fired because he missed a couple of appointments WHILE HE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL'S ICU! Sigh...

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