click here to jump to start of article
Join Our Newsletter

Get latest articles and videos with Jewish inspiration and insights​




Tough Teachers
Mom with a View

Tough Teachers

The gift of great expectations.

by

“Tough Teachers Get Good Results.” I don’t know if the Wall Street Journal lists the most emailed pieces of the week the way the NY Times does, but this would win for sure. I read it. My kids read it. My friends read it. My editors at aish.com read it. And my inbox was bombarded with hyperlinks to the articles. I think it’s because the piece struck a chord; it resonated with many of us who feel some dismay about the direction of education today.

We all remember the one teacher (you have to be very lucky to have more than one!) who stood out from the crowd – not for her warmth (although I’ve nothing against warmth), not for her creativity (although I’ve nothing against creativity) and not for her effusive and undeserved praise (which I do have something against). She stood out because she was tough but fair. She had expectations – but not unreasonable ones. She made us work hard – for our own benefit. She was strict – so that we would take the lessons seriously. She made us drill, drill and drill again – because it was an effective teaching strategy. She didn’t put up with nonsense and she wouldn’t settle for mediocrity.

In fact, she seems rather like the Mr. Kupchynsky referred to in the article, whose teaching strategies the author extols and whose philosophies are elaborated on in the newly published Strings Attached: One Tough Teacher and the Gift of Great Expectations.

My teacher’s name was Miss Dick. She was my high school French teacher. She wasn’t particularly friendly or popular but she made us work and she challenged us to succeed. I respected her.

Not so my English teacher who tried very hard to be cool, to be “au currant,” to be our friend – and who later showed up at one of my freshman year college parties. Yuck! In his class, I learned nothing and he engendered no respect whatsoever.

Mr. Kupshynsky had some basic educational philosophies, many of which are, unfortunately, not popular today.

One of them was that it’s okay to fail. Yes, you read that correctly. Contrary to popular belief, children learn more if they are prepared to fail, if they are prepared to take risks. No one benefits when “everyone’s a winner” or when they play it too safe. Mr. K’s students said that “He taught us how to fail – and how to pick ourselves up again.”

Will power and tolerance for frustration are more important than talent.

This is crucial. We won’t try anything – whether it’s learning to ski, plan an instrument, solve a difficult mathematical equation or discover a cure for cancer – if we are afraid of failure. Most successful people (businessmen, scientists, writers, you name it) had many failures under their belts before they because successful – and even afterwards as well! It’s not failure that’s a problem but how we respond to it.

A friend told me that when he is interviewing potential new employees he asks them to “tell me a story about a time you failed.” He figures he’ll learn more about the hireling’s character from this than from a tale of success. Children and adults need to learn to fail, to tolerate frustration, to cope with disappointment, and to get back on the horse. Mr. K was preparing his students for successful lives even as they may have failed a test or two. He may not have realized it but he was also echoing the wisdom of King Solomon who wrote in Proverbs (24:16) that “For though the righteous may fall seven times, he will arise.”

Another of Mr. Kupshynsky’s fundamental tenets was that grit – determination, perseverance, tenacity – trumps talent. Talent is a gift – some have it, some don’t. But we can all work hard. Especially if we believe we can improve. If we’re told we’re already special and perfect, there’s nowhere to go. But if we’re told that we have the ability to succeed, with the right tools and the right work, then the possibilities are endless. Will power is more important than talent. A tolerance for frustration is more important than talent. Optimism about future possibilities is more important than talent. And a nose to the grindstone is certainly more important than talent.

Mr. K sounds like he was very wise and very down-to-earth. I’m looking forward to reading the book. But with me, he’ll be preaching to the choir. I already share his philosophies. I hope that those who don’t – parents, teachers, administrators, government officials – will at least crack the cover and read what his students said about him. Our children’s future may well depend on it.

Published: October 6, 2013


Give Tzedakah! Help Aish.com create inspiring
articles, videos and blogs featuring timeless Jewish wisdom.

Visitor Comments: 12

(10) Anonymous, October 12, 2013 11:46 PM

Yes, of course talent counts. However, I've known people who had the ability to get straight As in school but settled for lower grades simply because they did not want to work hard. We all need to find our own individual talents, whatever those talents may be. Re: Motivational speakers. I hope our children can find them in a variety of places, ranging from home to school to the rest of their community. The principal of my son's elementary school was one of the best motivational speakers I had ever met!

(9) marvin purser, October 10, 2013 4:26 PM

NOT TO EMBARRAS

When my class was asked questions about the literature story I had just read to them at 300 wpm, i told them to all raise their right hands if they knew the answers, and their left hand if they did not. I would call on only the right hands. The Visiting administrator, there to evaluate me, never knew.! She was amazed that all knew the answers every time.

(8) Tonya, October 10, 2013 1:31 PM

I am a "Tough teacher" with happy kids

I have not read the book, but will be looking it up. After reading the comments here I think there could be confusion about what it means to be "tough" versus "cruel". First and most importantly, the expectations are clear from the beginning. No student has the luxury of saying, "I didn't know," and "I forgot" doesn't cut it because those expectations are written out and the fellow students are being held to the same expectations. Secondly, the expectations are there for the sake of the student, NOT for the empowerment of the teacher. The teacher doesn't need additional empowerment because s/he has been granted authority by the administration and certified as capable by the university. The actions of the teacher demonstrate fairness and justice. The Tough Teacher is not cruel. To those who have had cruel teachers, it does no child any service to wrap everyone in emotional bubble wrap "in case" some cruel person comes along. Allow those children to be so confident because they have had GOOD teachers that hold them accountable, that cruel teachers will been seen for what they are and NOT be confused with what is acceptable.

(7) Anonymous, October 9, 2013 11:09 PM

Tough Teachers

There's a difference between tough teachers and mean teachers. Tough teachers who demand work, and will not tolerate anything less, are decidedly different than teachers
who are out and out mean. I have had a few of those in my lifetime. Some can traumatize a child for life. To this day, I detest the idea of taking tests, even though I have a Master's Degree. One of my teachers in elementary school, who also served as assistant principal, would come into the class, to give out report cards, and would read off everyone's grades. This was the most dreaded three or four days of the year. To this day, I cannot forgive her for traumatizing me, and I used to feel the same fear, when my now adult kids were in elementary school, and were bringing home their report cards. They both ended up becoming professionals b'h, but a mean teacher can destroy a child. In my profession, where I work with children I am very cognizant of this, and make very sure to build their self-esteem and self-worth something many teachers back then knew nothing about ,

(6) MESA, October 9, 2013 9:14 PM

While I certainly agree that risk-taking, effort, and high expectations are all good things, there's one problem: They're NOT more important than talent. All the effort in the world does not make you good at something in which you have no talent. You can work hard and bang your head against a wall, but unless you have a talent for breaking walls, you'll just break your head. Yes, students need to try, risk failure, and pick up and try again, and they need to try different things to see where their talents lie, but talent does count, and when students find their talents, they're much more motivated to try, risk failure, and try again.

See All Comments

Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.


  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment
stub