The Donor
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The Donor

The Donor

My spare kidney provided an incredible life experience.

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Each week, thousands of people are inspired by Aish.com articles. Some learn more about Jewish history. Some are inspired by the depth of Jewish wisdom in leading a more spiritual life. Others find practical parenting or dating advice.

In my case, an Aish.com article inspired me to save a life.

My story begins 10 years ago. My husband, Chanan Kaufman, was sending out Aish HaTorah's Shabbat Shalom Fax to thousands of people each week. Filled with Jewish wisdom, the fax was a very effective way for him to meet new people. So to raise money for his program, the Jerusalem Fellowships, Chanan would send the fax to potential donors and follow up with a phone call.

When my husband called Antoine and asked if he would like to meet, Antoine said sure.

Antoine, married with young children, became a donor and Chanan could count on his annual gift. But he remained a casual friend, someone he only checked in with once or twice a year.

This summer, when Chanan went to visit Antoine and asked how everything was, he received a disturbing response.

"You know that I have the same genetic kidney disease that killed my father? My brother has it, too. I thought in my case it wouldn't manifest itself for years to come. But it turns out that the disease is progressing at an alarming rate and I need a kidney transplant to stay alive.”

Which brings us to that Aish.com article I mentioned earlier. About two years ago, I read Lori Palatnik describing her experience as a kidney donor. I found it very inspiring and considered that perhaps I could be brave enough to do the same.

My husband filed the idea away in the back of his mind.

Soon afterward I learned that a woman in my community needed a kidney. I thought this could be a wonderful opportunity. But alas, I was not a match, and so the whole idea got put on the back burner. I returned to day-to-day life, while my husband filed the idea away in the back of his mind.

So when Chanan came home and told me about Antoine's situation, I said I was willing to be tested. I've heard a lot of different stories about the process of testing, and in my case it went quickly and painlessly. We worked with New York Presbyterian (Columbia) Hospital in Manhattan, and they could not have been nicer or more professional. They understood that I had a demanding work schedule and arranged my tests as not to interfere.

When we got the news of a "match," Antoine was thrilled and, as he said, "bewildered." We set a date for the transplant. In 60 days Antoine would shift from facing possible death... to having a new kidney.

When I told people about what I was planning, most were awed. Some thought I was crazy. My kids were supportive and thought it was a great act of selfless giving.

A few weeks before the surgery, I was feeling something that I could not put my finger on. Then I realized that I wanted an emotional connection, to get to know Antoine and his family. I remembered reading in Lori's article how she spent hours and hours getting to know her recipient... and I wanted to know mine.

So we invited Antoine and his family for a Shabbat dinner – he, his wife and three young children. It was a wonderful evening and I felt much more connected. His wife was lovely, soft-spoken, beautiful inside and out – and most of all, so grateful to me. That gave me added encouragement to help.

The week of surgery, the reality hit me.

Then the week that the surgery was scheduled to take place, the reality hit me: What am I doing? Could I back out? I really wanted to go forward, yet I was terrified. I prayed and prayed.

The surgery itself went off without a hitch. As soon as Antoine received my kidney he felt better. He looked 10 years younger the next day. It was truly amazing.

For me personally, to say it was a special time is an understatement. I was scared, which is normal, but the Almighty held my hand every step of the way, encouraging me and coaxing me at this unique opportunity.

Though I awoke very sore (it is like abdominal surgery), I was basking in the intense afterglow of literally saving a life. I have never felt this kind of joy before. How wonderful that the Almighty gave me a spare kidney, so I could relish this incredible experience.

The connection I've had with God these past few months is something to strive for the rest of my life. I had pushed through my fears and anxieties and placed my trust in the Almighty. I gave the gift of life, and got an equally tremendous gift in return.

If you'd like to hear more about being a kidney donor, feel free to contact me through the comments box below.

Published: September 19, 2010


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Visitor Comments: 32

(31) Chaya Lipschutz, March 13, 2011 2:13 AM

#30 - please feel free to contact me about kidney donation

Hi! - to #30. I had donated a kidney, as well as my brother. Please feel free contact me about kidney donation. If you wish to remain anonymous, that is ok, your name will not be revealed. You may e-mail me at KidneyMitzvah@aol.com. My website is KidneyMitzvah.com, where I also have more information about kidney donation.

(30) Anonymous, February 17, 2011 2:47 PM

donating a kidney

I have been thinking about this for years! I am o blood type and I donate blood every few months, but a kidney is something I feel could save another person's life in a more personal way. I really would like to ask someone more about it and get in contact with the right people.

Laya, May 3, 2011 10:25 AM

do you still want to donate a kidney?

My neighbor, an otherwise healthy young man of 25 was just diagnosed with renal failure of both kidneys. and is in desperate need of a kidney from an O donor. We are in Israel. You can contact me directly via my website http://tzimmerpeace.weebly.com It would be our honor to host you if you can help this wonderful young man who has so much more to contribute to this world. We'll dance at his wedding! <3

(29) Judith Lowitz, October 20, 2010 6:45 AM

I am going to donate a kidney

HI - I also am a nurse, and, G-d willing, I am planning to donate a kidney the 1st week in January. I wonder if I could touch base with you? Thanks, and I admire what you did.

(28) Anonymous, October 10, 2010 1:56 AM

Thank you for your kindness

I am also on the Kidney Transplant List. It is nice to read about such kind people out there. I know there is hope for me. Wishing you a healthy and wonderful life.

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