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The Facebook Challenge

The Facebook Challenge

How to use Facebook to build rather than destroy.


T-shirts imprinted with eye-catching sayings are commonplace, each competing with the other in cuteness and cleverness. One of my favorites that I've seen reads: "National Sarcasm Society -- Like We Need Your Support". Your choice of t-shirt is a personal marketing decision. You send the world a message of who you are and how you want to be perceived. 

Imagine wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with your most personal information. Everyone who sees you knows about your social life, your preferences, your highest moments and worst defeats. No one would wear such a t-shirt because doing so is an abandonment of privacy, a destruction of the social boundaries we need to allow us to experiment and grow.  

Misuse of Facebook is wearing that exposing t-shirt. Facebook, the ground-breaking social platform that has taken the world by storm, allows users to connect with others and share with them text and links, schedules and events, pictures and videos. Posting pictures of private moments for all to see, sharing with the world personal thoughts on all matters, broadcasting preferences to anyone who cares are acts of exhibitionism. 

It is your choice how to use the Facebook hammer.

Responsible users, those who are mindful of their privacy and capable of maintaining proper boundaries, can overcome this problem. You always have to protect your personal information online, keeping a firewall between your real life and your online persona. Facebook, which is designed for personal revelation, is an ongoing temptation to overstep the boundaries of privacy. You are tasked with resisting the exhibitionist urge.  

Facebook is not inherently good or evil. It does not invade your privacy nor reveal your personal secrets. If you use Facebook wisely, mindful that the internet is not your personal diary and that public information is, of course, public, then you stand to gain much from your experience. A hammer can be used to smash someone on the head or build a home. You must choose how to use that tool. 

The Talmud has a saying regarding the harm caused by spreading gossip: your friend has a friend (Kesubos 109b). When you gossip to a single person, you tell the story to not just that friend but to every friend that he has. This is the danger of Facebook. Your embarrassing story is spread to your friends, who may very well convey it to their friends also. As this circle of intimates grows exponentially, so does the damage of your every indiscretion.  

But this power can also be used for good. Your inspirational story is just as easily spread throughout the social network. Your good news or innovative idea travels to your friends, who in turn also have friends. Pretty soon the joy and excitement has brightened hundreds of people's day and stimulated many thoughtful minds. It is your choice how to use the Facebook hammer. 

Related Article: Facebook Friends

The Echo Chamber 

The Talmud states that one should ideally study under at least two teachers in your academic career (Avodah Zarah 19a). The varying viewpoints broaden your horizons, forcing you to think carefully and preventing you from entering a comfort zone of groupthink. Facebook, like much of the internet and cable news phenomena, can undermine that attitude. When we associate almost exclusively with people who think like us, we enter an echo chamber that reverberates with the same, single viewpoint. We never consider other points of view or question the constantly repeated ideas that surround us.  

When we associate almost exclusively with people who think like us, we enter an echo chamber that reverberates with the same, single viewpoint.

Facebook amplifies this problem. The sharing of thoughts, articles, links and more within a social circle creates an enveloping online community of groupthink. The echo chamber is deafening. But it doesn't have to be. Facebook can serve the exact opposite purpose to those who are open to variety. 

Your friend has a friend, and so on ad infinitum. This Talmudic principle, which serves as the theoretical basis of Facebook, can merge with the Talmudic advice of studying under multiple teachers to create a robust, educational experience. When social circles intersect, you meet people with different backgrounds and viewpoints. You learn about the experiences, thoughts and interests of people who think differently than you. Facebook, when used properly, is the solution to the internet. It breaks through the echo chamber. It expands your interests, teaches you new ideas and approaches, and allows you to see the world through other people's eyes.   

The internet must be built on responsible netizenship. This requires living primarily in the real world and using the internet as a tool. You have to avoid addictive behavior and stay away from what you think are other people's oversharing. One person's exhibitionism need not be your voyeurism. Ignore it and move on. Seek intelligent conversation and stimulating topics. Facebook is a way to share with others what you think may interest them and to likewise share in what they think will interest you. To engage in the enriching experience you must find people who have something valuable to offer.  

Using Facebook to build rather than destroy requires thought and planning. While responsible behavior is a learned trait, one who masters this skill faces vast opportunities for personal growth.

January 8, 2011

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The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 15

(15) SusanE, June 3, 2012 2:02 PM

See what a Year Brings?

I posted on this article being #8 on January 12, 2011. - - - - - - - - - - - Now it's a year and 1/2 later, and it did nothing for business. I found a few friends, relatives, others who like the same things as me. Looking at Facebook now we can easily see that Facebook isn't Social Media. And it was never meant to be that. Zuckerberg really sold us on that fallacy didn't he?

(14) Dan Lucas, April 7, 2011 9:39 PM

Can my wilf forward something she sees on facebook to me using email?

(13) Anonymous, January 21, 2011 4:21 PM

Facebook, it's to keep people busy doing something.

(12) Esther, January 14, 2011 12:06 PM

How to use Facebook to build rather than destroy

I use facebook to look at pictures of people I had not seen in years. How they got marriete to, their kids, etc. Many years ago I told my daughters to remove their personal information about them. Many times they share pictures comments that I really do not like. "They want me to be there friend eventhou I block them". They get mad when I point out how I feel about but I am still there friend and usually they take away what I suggest was not good to share to the entire world. I was in NY with my parents. My nephew that is Mr. Perfect (great Job, great wife, etc) asked how I felt about my daughter’s gauge that she put a picture on facebook. I told him. I am not happy about it. I told her and is nothing I can do. I need to pick my fights with them and understand I can not control them all the time.

(11) Eileen Kugler, January 12, 2011 11:04 PM

Danger of only reinforcing one perspective

The article makes a very good point about not only associating with people who have the same perspective. The fact that so many people get their "news" from pre-selected sources in the media, which simply reinforce their own perspective, is dangerous. We need to thoughtfully read information from other sources, and engage in dialogue with people who have different life experiences and perspectives. This can be done through social media, including Facebook or Twitter. Even more critical, we need to put ourselves in situations where we have the opportunity to personally get to know someone who is "different." In my work with diverse schools, communities, and workplaces I see how these cross-cultural interactions are essential to true personal growth and a healthy society.

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