To This Day

Confronting the effects of bullying. A collaborative video.

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Dozens of collaborators from around the world helped to bring this piece to life. Learn more about them and the project at http://www.tothisdayproject.com.


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Comments (55)

(51) Bobby5000, March 30, 2016 12:32 PM

confronting bullying

Inspirational video that deals partly with bullying. Some suggestions about dealing with it.

1. Do not ignore it. If you ignore it, the bullying gets worse, other join, self-esteem plummets, and teachers pretend not to notice. A child needs to respond and for boys this means the willingness to fight. That means having someone teach you how to fight because it is a skill like math, reading, and language, with skills acquired through hours of learning and practice. Be careful of tedious judo and karate classes and instead learn the specifics of fighting, a head butt on the nose can be effective like stamping the small bones of a foot.

2.Improve social skills. Boys generally need to learn to listen and agree, and wear clothes that match social morays. One boy could be assertive and opinionated, but I was not aware of bullying- I later learned he had been in 10 fights which was smart on his part. If you say A, you must say B. If you are a boy and are getting in arguments, you must be ready to fight.

3. It is impossible to underestimate teacher's concern for bullying victims. Teachers intervening was rare, but at back to school conferences, discussion of teacher's salaries not uncommon. They get involved with things important to them.

(50) Sarah, March 28, 2016 5:37 AM

Wow. This was so powerful for me.
I've been bullied many times over, and this video was so real.
Thank you.

(49) Anonymous, March 27, 2016 8:25 PM

"THEY WERE WRONG" ALL OF THEM ALL THEY SAID ALL THEY DID " THEY WERE WRONG "

(48) Anonymous, March 27, 2016 7:28 PM

My life in seven minutes and thirty seconds

You must have lived it to be able to describe it so well. Unless you were following me around my entire life, how could you know? Every word and detail tells the story of my life. Today at 65 years old, I have gotten through all the hard stuff and persevered. I am who I am, sensitive and kind because I know how it feels.
There will always be the scars but they are buried so deep and hidden so well, no one can see them. I wonder how much different things would have been "if" but I endure and can say I have a good life.

(47) Sarah, July 30, 2014 4:54 PM

Wow! What a powerful video.

(46) Debby Tragni, April 10, 2013 1:29 AM

This stopped me from suicide an all I can say to the creator is thank you! You gave me hope

frank, June 30, 2013 2:51 AM

this touch my heart

To life all I can say is wow. This open my eyes. May Hashem be praise for love that never stop.Yeah.

(45) Elisheva, April 8, 2013 11:19 PM

you can feel the pain. thank you for representing those who are not yet strong enough to represent themselves

(44) Rachel, April 8, 2013 1:05 PM

a must see!!

thank you, that was one of the most important and powerful videos I've ever seen. a must see for everyone worldwide!!

(43) Susan, April 7, 2013 7:05 PM

Tolerance and celebrating our differences is a gift we're all given.

This is a very powerful video beautifully written and performed.
Tolerance starts in the home and is a conversation all families should share. A wonderful musical show called "Lenny & Lori's America's Got Tolerance Show" is a show for kids to perform for kids addressing the most important topics of tolerance, peace, love, anti-bullying and celebrating our differences. I've co-written this musical and being a mom myself, I feel very passionately about children, who are our leaders of tomorrow, and their healthy perspective about getting along and being supportive with all kinds of people they will meet in their lives. Let's celebrate our differences. www.americasgottolerance.com

(42) Anonymous, April 7, 2013 4:05 PM

I have no words other than for thank you for showing me the light

This video is the most inspiring video I have ever seen in my life. I never knew the pain others can bring through such a seemingly small act. I have learned, I have grown, and I will try to never cause any more pain. Because I used to be one of them.

(41) D, April 7, 2013 2:13 AM

wo

this is amazing, thank you

(40) Anonymous, April 7, 2013 2:00 AM

Such a powerful,touching movie. Thank you

(39) Shoshana - Jerusalem, April 6, 2013 10:43 PM

onat devarim hurting with words

One of the worst sins mentioned in the Torah is that of hurting with words and it is called "onas devarim." This video is an excellent example of what can happen when one does not follow that Torah commandment. This is certainly something that parents have to work on with their children from a very young age, and of course, be an example themselves of proper speech. As it says in "Woman of Valor",( Aishes Chayail), "Toras Chesed al leshona" The Torah of loving kindness is on her tongue".

(38) Larry, April 6, 2013 9:35 PM

Great

Just Great

(37) Lee-Perry, April 6, 2013 1:31 AM

awesome

What a wonderful testament to tenacity -- and to that one person out there that made a difference; that turned the tide of pain. I think more have suffered/still suffer this pain then we care to realize. Thanks for creating this. It cannot be said too much.

(36) Anonymous, April 5, 2013 5:52 PM

To poster #12, I have just one question. If someone at your workplace tried to steal the money from your wallet, what would you do? Would you shrug it off? I think not. If someone in your workplace were physically and/or verbally assaulting you, I am SURE you would take action against that individual. Bullying must be treated like the CRIME that it is. Taking legal action against the bully (and perhaps his/her parents if you are speaking of a minor) is sometimes the only language that the bully understands. With that said, I don't mean to state that we need to use the legal system as the first line of defense. You say we cannot legislate morality. However, we can and MUST hold bullies accountable for their actions. This means none of us can afford to stand by when we see a child or adult being harassed in any manner. Btw--The issue of abortion has nothing to do with bullying.

(35) Shareef, April 5, 2013 1:40 PM

Everyone has a Soul: Everychild is Beautiful

We must keep reinforcing this thought. It takes years to overcome the unkind words and actions inflicted on us in childhood.

(34) LKC, April 5, 2013 1:07 PM

That Was Me

By the time I graduated from high school, I saw myself as the living analogue to the green monkey, the one who is tossed into a cage of monkeys after being sprayed with green paint, and who is torn apart for being different.

I lived my life wearing masks to hide the terrible thing which I thought I surely must be.

Because of this, I couldn't recognize or accept friendship when it was offered, and only long afterwards realized the friends whom I could have had. I caused pain to myself and to those around me, including my own family.

I lived 48 years of my life like that, and had to hit bottom and before I could learn to see myself and be myself as I am. The happiest and best years of my life have been the past 32, 30 of which have been spent with my wife, Aliza, who has given me everything I had missed before, but most especially the knowledge that I am loved and cherished (though even with her it took me a long time to accept and realize this).

The experience of rejection which I suffered my first 18 years did impoverish my life and prevent me from fully achieving what I was truly capable of. If I can do anything to help anyone else who has or is living through the hell of being different and rejected, I certainly will.

As a teacher, though I am demanding and set very high standards, one of my constant goals is to make every one of my students realize just how valuable he or she really is.

(33) Adrienne Katz, April 5, 2013 10:00 AM

Thanks for great video, will inspire kids in the work we do in schools

Thanks for a great video - we will use it in schools. Young people can change the school community ethos if you inspire them. We work to enable young people to do their own campaigns and this video will kick start action.

(32) Karen, April 5, 2013 8:04 AM

inspiring

what an inspiring and beautifully animated video. I still suffer the effects of bullying today. As does my sister. this is well worth watching.

(31) Anonymous, April 5, 2013 2:05 AM

Sad

Unfortunately, we have as a society been unable to put a stop to bullying from adults because many people in positions of authority are bullies themselves and will fight you tooth and nail to pass and enforce laws against bullying and sadly its your word against their word and their own bosses protect them at all cost (circle the wagon) and this cuts across all gender, ethnic, racial, political, social, and economic lines..

(30) Anonymous, April 5, 2013 12:35 AM

"Sticks and stones may break one's bones, but words will always haunt you." From child to teacher, father to son: think before saying something nasty to anyone! Even if you think it's "just for fun"- the damage will be done. One child's life ruined is a world of potential ruined forever...Let's pass on this message to our children and help others from feeling this needless pain. This video is powerful!

(29) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 11:32 PM

This really inspired me. It made me remember what happened to me when i was younger and made me remember not to do it to anyone else. Im gonna try to think about this video next time before i say something mean to someone

(28) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 11:16 PM

although it stopped in 1974 this made me feel like it was yesterday

although it stopped in 1974, this made me feel like it happened yesterday. this is an amazing piece. this needs to mandatory viewing for all students who are old enough to understand it. although I have become a survivor, this brought back so many names,faces and experiences. I do not even want to breathe life into them by giving them voice. and yet it continued in to my professional life working in health care. the hospital that was my employer chose to placate the bully surgeon instead of supporting the victim. anyone who is in a position to teach our children, and our doctors must find a way to make this sort of behavior stop. the victims, regardless of their age must be supported in a way that allows them to heal and move forward. even then, there are some wounds that never heal.

(27) Tsiona Adler, April 4, 2013 10:50 PM

wow wow wow!!!

what a beautiful touching movie. so powerful!!! it should be shown at every highschool.
if only it were a tad slower, but i will just watch it again for all the lines i needed more time for!

(26) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 10:28 PM

Anti-Bullying Programs Available

The Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation has begun a powerful bullying initiative for orthodox elementary schools. Currently they have put out three exceptional DVD's, as well as an phenomenally successful recess curiculum. They also offer training workshops for teachers on how to cultivate a caring classroom. For more information please call (845) 352-3505

(25) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 9:12 PM

this video clip was very moving, it made me remember when i was in high school how i was always picked last for sports because i couldn't run as fast as the others, due to a medical condition. The P.E teacher called it sport spirit, to pick the teams, i call it torture, it was so humiliating every week watching everyone be picked and knowing i'd be standing there till last.
If your a teacher, please have sensitivity

(24) Debi, April 4, 2013 7:47 PM

WOW!!

This.brought.tears.and.memories.of.the.past....I.was.
bullied,.but.was.one.of.the.strong.ones.that.made.it....thank.G-d!!!...So.many.involved.in.allowing.the.bullying...it.
amazed.me.the.part.of.taking.him.away.from.parents,.but.not.caring.how.they.and.others.were.actually.the.ones.
destroying.the.person...This.is.where.Torah.NEEDS.to.
be.presented.so.one.can.turn.to.Hashem...so.we.can.
get.help!!!...and.learn.about.the.yetzer.and.his.tactics!!..
I.see.the.ones.injured.needing.help.from.Torah,.the.ones.giving.the.abuse,.and.the.ones.seeing.the.abuse.and.
turning.their.eyes.and.hearts.from.it....May.Hashem.
help.us.to.spread.Torah.and.for.all.to.have.great.emuna!!!...B"H!!!!

(23) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 6:52 PM

Incredibly moving...I hope that this reaches the right people. This video gave me goosebumps it was so powerful. I remember that my brother used to be bullied and I was little at the time but I felt s helpless and upset. There should be lessons in schools and Ganim using role play in order to demonstrate exactly what bullying is and how to combat it, yes even in Ganim! Bullying can not be tolerated but only obliterated!

(22) Danielle, April 4, 2013 6:49 PM

JUST BEAUTIFUL!

Thanks for that....I too know the deep pain and still carry the scars of the wounds inflicted by my life's bullies....I had more than one in my life and now as an adult woman I still have to remind myself that I am not a reject...I am created by my Creator....fearfully and wonderfully made....Psalm 139
SHALOM!

(21) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 6:34 PM

this is beautiful. it made me cry

(20) Dodi, April 4, 2013 6:23 PM

A nursing instructor weighs in.

I teach adults a 12 month course in professional nursing. Bullying is not in the curriculum. But in our smaller pre and oost conferences, topics are discussed like, child discipline, child abuse, neglect and words that hurt. Many many student nurses carry with rhem the cruel names inflicted on them as babies and children, by parents, by siblings ans by so called friends, teachers and classmates. The bullying does not stop kust because you "grow up" the open wounds are there oreventing the student from healing and becoming who they were created to be. I try in my small way to light a candle in the darkness and to mentor and love them into life. They are our future.

(19) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 6:21 PM

sticks and stones

I grew up with the sticks and stones theory and today nearly 61, I still suffer from low self esteem and depression. What a powerful video; it brought tears to my eyes.

(18) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 6:03 PM

should be shown in all schools

Wonderful piece of work! Bullying takes many forms, and causes wounds that may never heal. We need to believe in ourselves, not in "them". Thank you.

(17) Shlomo, April 4, 2013 5:39 PM

I felt ambivalent about 4/5 of the way into the video whrein they described not fitting into a peer group, using music and sports as examples. I have heard all too many stories of off-the-derech youth (and adults) who felt that they could not adapt to the demands of learning in yeshiva or the standards of tzenius in the frum commuity or even the [ostensible, perceived] deprivation of shemiras Shabbos. Their declarations often have the same "tune" as this segment of the video. This should give us pause.

(16) LADave, April 4, 2013 5:36 PM

Beautifully Done

Fantastic video and poem. Yes, bullying should never be allowed, at any age. We need a nationwide zero tolerance against it. No child should have to grow up like this.

(15) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 5:01 PM

This video should be shown to all children and to adults. Children who bully can grow up to be adults who bully. I have experienced this All of my life. My Dna results are jewish arab. I have been stared at, beaten up, verbal abuse, and had my life threatened all because I look different. I always wondered what I did wrong. I was a black market adoption from an infamous parent (s).

(14) Gina, April 4, 2013 4:33 PM

Your bullying video is FANTASTIC !
Long overdue.
Good going.

(13) Linda, April 4, 2013 4:24 PM

Amazing Creativity

We are made in the image of God and are fearfully and wonderfully made. This was a great reminder.

(12) EGE, April 4, 2013 3:27 PM

Symptom vs. Real Problem

This is in response to the person who said bullying should be addressed by the legal system.

I can't disagree more strongly. What that statement does is isolate the result from the cause, and addressing the result without treating the underlying cause is ineffective at best, counterproductive at worst.

The underlying cause of bullying is a culture that refuses to put the human being on the pedestal he deserves as a unique creation with the unique ability to be responsible for himself and his choices . . . a culture that says your mother can choose to abort you if your birth would cause her to be inconvenienced . . . a culture that says if you're down on your luck the government will step in and you'll never have to work another day in your life . . . a culture that says anything goes including one night stands, "music" that appeals to the basest of passions, and "games" that glorify murder and destruction of property . . . a culture which condemns the tool and not the wielder who chooses to misuse it.

Without the concepts of free will and personal responsibility, a civil society has no legs to stand on.

New laws won't solve anything. You can't legislate human decency.

(11) Myron Frank, April 4, 2013 3:16 PM

Incredible video !

I went thru a lot growing up just like the video describes. It took finally growing up, with a lot of help from family & counselor s who valued me as a person and showed me the truth ....great job !!!

(10) Chaviva, April 4, 2013 2:37 PM

Been There

As someone who had to endure the pain and humiliation of being bullied and tormented during most of my school years, I completely empathize with the anguish vitctims are going through. As these years of name calling, cursing, embarrasment,rejection, and false rumors that were spread about me have left a emotionally scarred to this very day.The worst part was that nobody came to my rescue. Teachers, parents, and even the school administration refused to intervene mainly because I was not a person of any importance. Meaning that my parents were not prestigious community figures and wealthy. Therefore I was not worth their time of day. Sometimes they would even blame me for being bullied.I never claimed to be perfect. All I ever wanted was a group of friends but that was asking too much. While I'm now a bit more confident than what I used to be, parts of my self-esteem have been shattered beyond repair. Bullying can even continue into adulthood as well whether its dealing with inconsiderate neighbors, abusive employers, rude collegues, etc. Parents need to educate their kids that bullying is never acceptable. Principles must utilize their power to keep bullying to the bare miminum and mandate harsh penalties for bullying.

(9) Anonymous, April 4, 2013 2:35 PM


This was a sad but very powerful video on bullying and it gave me some idea on how my own child must have felt as the worst happened and he lost his life to bullying at just age 15. This video is so sad but very well put together and many thanks to the people who made it.

(8) Lisa, April 4, 2013 10:54 AM

Nothing new under the sun!

There will always be bullies!! We just need a way to react to them....so not easy!
And bullies are not only in grade school.....they can be your boss....your neighbor & even your spouse!
I applaud your video!

(7) Cal Murphy, April 3, 2013 11:09 PM

Thank you!

Brings back many painful memories from my youth. Thank G-d I overcame the bullying I suffered!

Leah, April 5, 2013 4:29 AM

I cried watching this as memories flooded in

Only someone who has endured can say it so well. Thank you. This is the most compelling video about bullying I've ever seen. I plan to spread it around. Thank you, I endured too but like the others here, a piece of my heart will never heal but because of it I have an extra measure of compassion for others. .

(6) Anonymous, April 3, 2013 7:22 PM

This rings true in my life ... to this day....

This made me cry... it brought back all the emotional and mental wounds as if they only just happened... but that's okay...

because even though this will always be a part of me... it is this part of me that does make me want to 'fix everything' and help everyone...

Bullying may seem like a bunch of kids 'just having fun' with their teasing and name-calling...

but it's effects last...

and I am in my 50's now...

the pain never goes away...

but we learn to see ourselves for who we truly are... and not want 'they said we were'

Excellent video! This should be shown in schools worldwide!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, please, please... share this video with everyone and anyone!!

(5) Anonymous, April 3, 2013 6:24 PM

astonishing

This ia just astonishing. I too have had to redefine myself as a survivor. I must say that there are parts of me that can not seem to heal. Very very well done to those who made this video

(4) Anonymous, April 3, 2013 4:58 PM

There is only one adjective to describe this video: masterpiece. I am so sad for every child who has been bullied. IMO, bullying needs to be addressed by the legal system. If we would not accept such Behavior from adults, then we must not accept this Behavior from anyone under the age of 18. Enough!!!!

Isabelle, April 4, 2013 5:09 PM

Totally agree! :)

(3) Anonymous, April 3, 2013 7:11 AM

Wow! This should be editor's pick!

It's more than about bullying. It's about child and spouse and sibling abuse! Unfortunately the people that read these articles aren't usually the abusers! Hopefully it gives the victims validation and a voice and strength to overcome or even seek out support.

Lisa, April 4, 2013 10:59 AM

Agreed!!

Even if the " abusers" would read this.....they don't view themselves as an abuser!! And yes....it's not just the kid in school....it's siblings , children & spouses....just like you said!!

(2) sharon, April 3, 2013 6:20 AM

wow amazing, i gave me some tears, it makes me realize and see that there other out there that went thru this , and its a great thing to teach to children to be nice middosmke sure not to hurt, hurtfull things really thanks you

(1) Anonymous, April 3, 2013 3:02 AM

Whoa.

 

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