The Misleading Memoir

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Published: January 28, 2006
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Visitor Comments: 12

(12) FernandoOcumarez, October 22, 2006 11:12 PM

If honesty is required from any simple person with no access to the media, what should we expect from people in power?. In our modern culture, sometimes we relay on these individuals because they have won our trust. Rabbi Solomon you were right on !!!!!!!!!

(11) Anonymous, February 5, 2006 12:00 AM

a few details don't make the whole story untrue

I heard that the author originally wanted to publish as fiction but the publisher overruled him. Condem the publisher but that doesn't make his entire story of addiction untrue. Does everybody go through every memoir or biography and scrutinize every detail? Bill Clinton was almost impeached for lying and half the country, Jews included I'm sorry to say, think he was wonderful. Give the man and Oprah a break.

(10) Jodi, February 1, 2006 12:00 AM

why

the bottom line is he is still sober,
after a tough run with this addiction?
isn't that the most important issue here? and the book is still a great read and is and has been an inspiration
to many recovering addicts???

(9) Mary W, January 31, 2006 12:00 AM

Mr. Frey and his book

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, was right on. Wish more of the press and people would not go along with the crowd. No matter how you look at it, it definitely was dishonest.

Thanks, for the 3 minute talk. Great.

Mary Wente

(8) Victoria Frank, January 31, 2006 12:00 AM

Oprah did the right.

Oprah should be left alone. She did not write the book, she was misled by the writer and was bold enough to say "I AM SORRY". Many supported the writter, and the only person you could pick on is Oprah. She has done what is right and that's good enough for us.She didn't have to appologise but she chose to do so, I think you should live her alone. It took her two weeks to correct her self because she is a busy woman and she did it when it fits her schedule, SO BID IT.

(7) Anonymous, January 30, 2006 12:00 AM

one more thought

What's more telling- Oprah's delay in admitting she was wrong, or that sales of the book went up after the author admitted he stretched the truth?

The real story might be that the value of truth is lost on most.

(6) Herb Michelson, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

I feel that Rabbi Salomon is completely off base

Frankly, the Rabbi needs to undertand that he is holding Oprah Winfrey's actions to a standard that is so rigid and concept based as to be unrealistic and neglects the Human Condition which is complex and imperfect. We are all"Benonis" -- 'average middle man' and to be so critical of someone who was duped by a sociopath is beneath the Rabbinic coat the Rabbi wears. In point of fact the one truth in this matter is that I neither like nor disline Oprah Winfrey, I am neither fan nor detractor, but the reality here is that she was duped, responded instinctively with the "redemption" theme, and then realizaing the import of her defense she apologized. Isn't that enough? Shouldn't the good Rabbi concern himself instead of churing the waters of discord, criticism? What purpose can this serve? Perhaps to climb up on the popular beack of Winfrey? To be holier than thout?

(5) Peter Kraynik, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Here comes the Judge

People in the public's eye are held to a differnt standard; because they can influence more people. The motivation for making a public statement is key. We can learn from both.

(4) Janet, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Accountablility

I imagine it's not easy to be the individual Oprah when you're really a machine... Harpo, the Angel Network, O Magazine, etc. You the individual are bound to make a mistake some day. She apologized for her mistake.

Do you really think it was her intent to publicly shame the man? Or maybe more, to hold him accountable for the many lies he'd written?

Oprah has an unbelievable amount of power. She neither squanders nor hoards it. She wields it. Despite any mistakes she may have been part of in this whole thing, she continued to call for the truth.

The book should never have been published in the first place. The publisher should have checked his story. Their admission that they never do, has to change.

We're often fed this or that story by the media in general. We're given this or that perspective without ever knowing how onesided the story was. Or we're outright lied to, and never know it.

Even the text books used to teach our children are horribly one-sided. Even students at university level, never realize how one-sided their texts are. The teachers often don't even know.

Publisher's, news journalists, memoirists, hostorians, etc., ALL need to be held accountable for the truth.

I applaud Ms. Winfrey, for her courage and her call for the truth. I support her in that quest... and hope that we as a people will begin to demand more accountability from those sources we rely on to assist us in that endeavor.

(3) Maksim-Smelchak, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Oprah has "celebrity" morality...

The mainstream media spends a lot of time trying to tell us how to think and what should be exemplary... watch the average sitcom and see when the applause track comes on... that's what they want us to hold exemplary.

Celebrities have a choice... do I push Hollywood values even though I know they're often false or really say what I think and take the chance of losing some of my success among Hollywood folks?

Oprah is an interesting phenomenon in this community because she has taken her celebrity status and tried to push values better than the mainstream Hollywood craziness. For this I think she should be commended.

A lapse back to Hollywood values and then back to her own volition whether made of her own choice or under pressure is something I can live with. She got where we want her whether her path was optimal or not. She recognized the value of the truth. I can live with that.

(2) Jack Mann Williams, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Much to Much ado about nothing!

There has never been anything written by
Faulkner, Hemingway or anyone else that has not been embellished.I am NOT a published author BUT the things that I have written have all had something of my take added to give color. He had the right to do that even if it was just not quite truthful or accurate. That is what writers do.

(1) Ellen, January 29, 2006 12:00 AM

Rabbi Salomon is right

Flipping TV channels last week I just happened across the Larry King show where he was interviewing Frey about the inconsistencies in his book. I watched for a few minutes; the interview was mildly interesting and just as I was ready to change channels as the interview was about to end, the phone call from Oprah came in. Now that was interesting! She so vehemently defended Frey and the book I kept thinking "what in the world is this woman doing?!?" I had no idea if The Smoking Gun's exposure of Frey was right or wrong but surely Oprah didn't think before acting. She didn't pause, think, call her people, call the publisher or do anything except deliver a five minute monologue on the book's virtues. I knew somehow that this would come back to bite her and thus her second show with Frey to publically denounce him. So I believe the rabbi is right - that Oprah did admit her mistake and make an amend to her audience. But her rush to defend him on live tv is a real mystery! The Rabbi's comments are not a rush to condemn because if you didn't hear her phoned-in comments on Larry King you don't have the whole story. Why SHE rushed to judgment is fascinating and shows her complexity as a human being.

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

More by this Author >

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

Click here to order Yaakov Salomon's new book, Salomon Says: 50 Stirring and Stimulating Stories.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.

The Misleading Memoir

Oprah comes clean. Sort of. (3 min)

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