Visitor Comments: 9

• (9) Fernando Ocumare , September 9, 2007

  Dear Rabbi Salomon,
  I totally agree with you. I have three kids of my own, including a teenage daughter; it's not easy but, I know for a fact that if you pay attention to what they say and ask; if you create a safe place for them to come and talk and express themselves; with you first, not with a friend or stranger but you, and you remain receptive to their questions and ideas and doubts; things will get better. It takes time and patiente; also the full participation and cooperation of your spouse; both of you have to be on the same page, synchronized on becoming the shelter they seek in those hard and confusing times. You have to become their source of wisdom, you have to encourage them to choose wisely by letting them know how valuable and smart they are. You have to show them that it's not the end of the world when things go wrong, when they get a bad grade or when they feel confused about any subject...Just let them know that you love them and the most important thing,,, There's a G-D that loves them....
  
  Fernando Ocumare
  

• (8) DR Thomas M. DiResta , August 27, 2007

  I have personally experienced the phenonema of self mutilation in my immediate family, & only by the good grace of Hashem was a tragedy averted; more exposure to get the message to all teens is needed, thank you---Tom

• (7) Anonymous , August 26, 2007

  Thank you taking on such a tough and unpopular topic.

• (6) Anonymous , August 26, 2007

  Dear Rabbi Salomon,
  I totally agree with you. I have three kids of my own, including a teenage daughter; it's not easy but, I know for a fact that if you pay attention to what they say and ask; if you create a safe place for them to come and talk and express themselves; with you first, not with a friend or stranger but you, and you remain receptive to their questions and ideas and doubts; things will get better. It takes time and patiente; also the full participation and cooperation of your spouse; both of you have to be on the same page, synchronized on becoming the shelter they seek in those hard and confusing times. You have to become their source of wisdom, you have to encourage them to choose wisely by letting them know how valuable and smart they are. You have to show them that it's not the end of the world when things go wrong, when they get a bad grade or when they feel confused about any subject...Just let them know that you love them and the most important thing,,, There's a G-D that loves them....
  
  Fernando Ocumare
  

• (5) Amalia , August 22, 2007

  An age old problem

  One of the biggest problems with self injury, sadly, is how old and cross cultural it is. I hate to say it, but I think its a natural (albeit tragic) human tendency. Young men from Kham (eastern Tibet) frequently burn their hands with cigarettes instead of crying after a break up, loss of a friend, or death. Certain native american tribes mourn the death of a friend or family member by slicing the arms, legs or face. Self mutilation crosses all boundaries, and it is always when people can't seem to properly express their pain, or aren't listened to when they try to. What to do? it's hard to tell. My recomendation would be for parents to listen to their children, and occasionally, let their children let it all out...let them sob if they need to, talk openly even if it hurts...because cutting hurts a lot more

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