Special Delivery

by Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

Woman joins motherhood at 70

Published: December 13, 2008

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Visitor Comments: 17

(17) Anonymous, December 20, 2008 11:57 AM

Hard to Know

I dont think it is fair to judge a woman who has been trying to have a child for so long. Woman dream of what their children will be like from a very early age. However, what were her motivations for having the child? Does she want to welcome someone into the world who will definatly have an abnormal childhood, probably be orphaned early on, care for her parents at a young age? Is that fair? While G-d does give man the ability to use IVF and such, G-d also, for what ever reason made this woman infertile. At what point do we trust that G-d knows better than the doctors?

(16) Lisa, December 19, 2008 10:50 PM

I believe if this woman had become pregnant naturally, then it was meant to be. But to have a child at 70 through in vitro is selfish and a waste of money. A child deserves a parent to raise them and be there for them. While none of knows what will happen tomorrow, these parents are more than likely not to be around when the child is teenager and even if they are they'll be in their eighties. Can they guarentee they'll have the health necessary to be there at the most influential time of a child's life.

(15) Jessie Jacklin, December 17, 2008 4:56 PM

mothethood at 79.

Ecclesiates "A time to - - ". comes to mind. Science and money could have, in my opinion, been spent on babies, the elderly with special needs or in developing countries. This smacks of selfishness, attention seeking or both from mother AND doctor!

(14) Jan, December 17, 2008 7:58 AM

I completely agree with Amy. It is very selfish for the parents and very irresponsible and unethical for the doctor. That child will most likely become parentless by the time it is a teenager.

(13) ruth housman, December 16, 2008 5:12 PM

special delivery

I agree with your comments. I think that what is private, should remain private. Obviously many people are celebrating with this couple. The child will certainly know it was wanted and I bet will not be wanting for people to help raise her. The answers to deep questions have to do with the angst of weighting the pros and cons, and if those involved do this, then their decision has led in this case, to a beautiful child and a radiant mother, something quite clear from the photo presented.

(12) Tova Saul, December 16, 2008 3:51 PM

There are already 6 billion

If this couple never had a baby before, then fine. If they already have 2, then why bring more people into a world whose natural resources are already being hogged by the human population, crowding out and bringing to extinction the rest of Hashem's masterpieces of creation? Do we want a deadened world for our children and grandchildren? Because that what we'll soon have, if the human race doesn't find things to occupy itself other than having more than 2 kids per family.

(11) susie, December 16, 2008 3:27 PM

i'm 47 i pray and hope i will have a child, i have always wanted children just knowing this i know their is hope for me.

(10) Amy, December 16, 2008 2:38 PM

Sorry, I disagree

I think it is the height of selfishness and irresponsibility for these people to become parents in their seventies. Simply because something is scientifically possible does not mean it should be done. In my opinion, what the doctor did here is totally unethical.

(9) Channie Stein, December 16, 2008 12:01 PM

To Anonymous - Only G-d knows.

This is for Anonymous,who was born to a 57 year old father who died when the writer was fourteen. You say you and your brother felt tremendous loss at the death of your father. You even say your children "suffer" from having no grandparents. You NEVER say you wish you had not been born. Through all this, you have succeeded in growing into responsible adulthood and raising a family of your own. And from yet another perspective, how many young people have children, are diagnosed shortly thereafter with a fatal illness and die leaving young children? How many young parents are hit by cars, or die through terrorist acts? ALL life and all death is in the hands of the Almighty, and no one can know the length of his days. Let us rejoice at each new life as we mourn at each death.

(8) Rebecca, December 16, 2008 8:44 AM

Mazel Tov for all of us

What a blessing for us all! Let us not forget, we may live to 120, baruch Hashem, and may this woman's blessing be a blessing for all of us- I have an incurable cancer and my fiance has been incarcerated for the next 5 1/2 years, one of my treatments seemed to take away my fertility, but recently, with thanks to G-d, it has seemingly returned, and I am alive 2 years beyond my diagnosis. I'm living with financial problems, including impending homelessness, and yet, every day I am glad for each moment and know that if it G-d's plan for me to be here then I WILL be, and if I am to be called by him then that will happen as well. I would do just as this woman, if I could. We are meant to do what G-d calls us for, and not what others find comfortable.

(7) Annie, December 16, 2008 6:56 AM

who cares?! it is good and beautiful!

are we already forgetting that a young mother's life has been taken in Mumbai and there are 2 orphans? she was so young but died! and so many other orphans?? are we going to play Judge-Almighty over someone allowed to expend the tremendous love, compassion, joy, dedication, commitment, etc. because she has a baby at 70? or are we remorse ridden that we have to step up to the plate and pitch in!!?? Imagine the day when EVERYONE will pitch in, without whinning

(6) Anonymous, December 14, 2008 5:17 PM

Why?

My father was 57 years old when I was born and he only lived until I was 14 years old and my younger brother was 11. The loss was tremendous for my brother and me. And now my daughter suffers (unknowingly) without a grandfather. A 70 year old mother cannot reasonably expect to raise her child into adulthood given current life expectancies. What is the minimum we owe our children? Is life enough?

(5) SusanE, December 14, 2008 2:13 PM

It's a Baby...Celebrate!!

In vitro is questionable at 70....if it is her egg then it is her baby and she has the final say about reproducing. If it is another womans egg then questions arise.---- or, if the 70 year old woman has other children in their 40's and 50's then they can help raise their sibling. Many young Mothers die with small children so I don't see age as a factor. ----- I think 5 years of good Mothering can be as good for a child as 20 years of poor Mothering. So, who knows? It's a beautiful child brought in to the world to what end we can't see. Everything has a reason. The baby should be celebrated.

(4) suzy, December 14, 2008 1:10 PM

Eric, I heard the average life span is 81. From what I've seen, I think it's probably between 75 and 90. Anyway, it's deffinately much harder to take care of a child when in the senior years. And people don't know how long they are going to live. But if they want it and are willing to take care of it, good for them. I agree about never loosing hope.

(3) ross, December 14, 2008 9:43 AM

Just one generation off

It happened. It's done. Instead of debating, their community should just help the kid deal positively with having 70, 80, 90-year-old parents. Still, it's better than having a single mother who is just 13 years older than the kid. That's much more prevalent.

(2) Rosen, December 14, 2008 8:37 AM

elderly births

I read on another Jewish website that if your daughter says that G-d made her pregnant and will have a virgin birth in this day and age, you must immediately take her for psychological evaluation.

As for the elderly birth, it is quite an astonishing miracle about the endurance of the human body almost regardless of age. Many people do start to have children as late as their 50''s and older.

(1) Eric D., December 14, 2008 8:00 AM

Not fantastic at all

Rabbi Salomon, I strongly disagree with you. Judaism advises us not to rely on miracles. If I'm not mistaken, the average life span for human beings is 75 years old. It is extremely irresponsible to bring a child into the world when one is clearly approaching the end-of-life stage. Put yourself in the position of the child: would you want a 70-year-old mother? The child has a very strong chance of being orphaned at a very young age. I do not think this is fair to the child. One of the problems with science is its primary focus is "what can we achieve?" and not "what is ethical?" Maybe there is a reason that the One does not allow humans to naturally reproduce after a certain age....

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

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Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

Click here to order Yaakov Salomon's new book, Salomon Says: 50 Stirring and Stimulating Stories.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.