Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder

I've known someone who would belittle her husband or start a fight with one of their children and scream horrible things to them about how badly they treated her. Then as soon as she gained control over the issues, she would bring on the tears and say how sorry she was. It got so that the family and friends would not bring up certain topics and would not ever disagree with the woman. She was that good at manuipulating. The woman had total control over everyone. She kept them on edge constantly, and controlled every situation and always she would create a crisis . Also when someone was being congratulated or honored for some good deed, she would bring on the tears and say her kids never did nice things like that for her and look how hard she worked for them. Then her kids would hang their heads and say we're sorry Mother. She planned things out nicely. One could predict that she would ruin a family vacation, by creating a crisis. She went on a tour with a group of women in the same club, and on the way she said she was ill, and they must take her to the emergency room in the upcoming town. So they did. Then they called her husband to come and get her. Of course she was fine and nothing was wrong with her, but she was enraged that the vacation wasn’t cancelled for a day or two because of her. I told her she might have the rest of them fooled but I wouldn't put up with her behavior. Remember this woman and I spent time together shopping and doing neat things. She was a bright and cultured woman who could talk about many subjects. Putting a label like Borderline on her seems to excuse her horrible behavior. How does that help her adult children now?

When can the mentally ill be held accountable? It's when they show signs that they know that what they are doing is wrong, and they do it anyway. It's when they go to some lengths to TRY TO HIDE EVIDENCE OF THEIR FORETHOUGHT.

Thanks for the reminder of what I've been dealing with for 25 years and how to approach it.My eldest son was diagnosed with this syndrome 20 years ago,studied at a special school for 10 years and after the army lived with his girlfriend.Now he has split up with her and has moved back home with me.After having been on my own for so long I had got used to a calm and peace at home,but after my son returned all the difficult past returned too with all the unpredicted and spontaneous behaviours.He stopped his medication at age 16 saying he didn't need it any more.Even though he knows he has a problem,he refuses to get help as he thinks he can deal with it alone.His conditon affects all the family.

Why dont you take him to dbt counseling! It helped me alot with my bpd!! Bpd tells us that we are okay even tho we knwo we arent. The truth is he probably is afraid to face what hes thinking. He probably also doesnt want other people telling him he has a problem.. its a tough situation and I feel for you as a mom of such a monsterous disease. Look into DBT! I think you may find it useful.

I know someone like this - anything can set her raving at any time, with no rhyme or reason. She says things in a way that can be very hurtful - but she does not see how her words can have such an effect. I've tried to discuss this with her several times, but she refuses to acknowledge that there is any sort of problem. I have to interact with this person on a near-daily basis - how should I deal with it?

Thank you for clarifying this. Hope others find this as helpful as me.

I've came across at least one individual with a borderline personality disorder at my first college, and she seemed to be the most blunt person I've ever met - even so, who would I to be to judge upon whether this was about blame. Blame implies intent (at least according to Dr. Phil). Chances are, individuals with BPD were raised in an atmosphere of potentially hostile parents - if they were not necessarily born that way...As for another disorder, Asperger's syndrome, can blame really be impinged on these individuals? Many of these cognitive disorders tend to be overlapping, where it can be difficult to determine a correct diagnosis, even by some professional. I happen to have AS, and sometimes people think I come across as having obsessive compulsive disorder. I am eager to learn from my mistakes, especially in a social atmosphere where I am trying to work on not interrupting during conversations almost compulsively. Sometimes when I make certain mistakes or blurt something out, I don't always know I am making such a mistake until someone tells me afterward (and then I feel rather ashamed about it, due to how sensitive I am. So, how does one really differentiate mental illness from blame?