Torah Reading: Shlach

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A Rare New York Story

by Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

How to unload your mistakes.

Published: July 19, 2009
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Visitor Comments: 8

(8) Joan Marie, July 26, 2009 1:12 PM

rules change

I live in Brooklyn, NY and I can attest that for those who believe that the party goers should have followed the rules even if the sign was not there they are mistaken. It is not unusual in NY for parking rules to change unexpectedly, without warning and then to be changed again--You have to go by the signs! What is unusual is that the police officer was willing to tear up the ticket. The usual response is that the citizen will have to fight the ticket-not because the officer is trying to be difficult, but sometimes once they begin writing it they have to finish it! (Strange, but those are the rules!) G-d was certainly on the side of the worshipers.

(7) Anonymous, July 26, 2009 3:46 AM

Great Story

For those who commented that the drivers "should have realized", I had to read the comments twice and still said, "huh"?! We don't make up parking rules; we look to the signs to get the rules for that area. If there's a "no parking" sign, we don't park. If there isn't one, somehow the driver is supposed to think that maybe there SHOULD be one?! Eh? How does that make sense to you? There are hundreds and hundreds of blocks that have different rules for opposite sides of the street. That is NORMAL, and it is beyond absurd to think a driver is supposed to engage in a guess every time he parks: MAYBE there really SHOULD be a no parking sign here?!!

(6) Gwenn, July 25, 2009 2:42 PM

Anonymous makes a very good argument, as do the other commentors. In light of this week's news, this week's theme could be take responsibilty for one's actions and/or justifying one's actions.

(5) Anonymous, July 22, 2009 3:41 AM

Wrong assesment

I think the lesson here should perhaps instead be that we shouldn't forget our responsibilities just because the signs aren't so clear. Our responsibilities don't stem from the sign always being posted and visible. They stem from the knowledge we gain, from learning about right and wrong. If your son or anyone knew the area and knew the rules, the sign is irrespective and a realization of the right and wrong was conveniently dodged. I can imagine a better story and lesson in which your son acknowledges that he knew of this issue and accepted the ticket regardless. Unfortunately, some might argue, rules and laws are can be strictly cause and effect (i.e. no sign, no law) and so we often must play the game or be consumed by it - I'm not certain where I stand on that generally (specifically is easier) and so I don't fault anyone who might play that game. By the way, I also understand that your son may simply not have known about the regulations and thus the above is moot, but you did not clarify in your message and so the above was worth noting. Wow, I usually don't type into boxes this small (fix that) but stumbled upon your video and went with it. :)

(4) gary james baxter, July 22, 2009 12:52 AM

thanks that is a good lesson

thanks for the insights. i always find myself dwelling on my mistakes and when i do i make more. thank you for sharing

(3) ester, July 21, 2009 4:44 PM

this argument is wrong ,you dont walk away from your mistakes if you did something wrong you do teshuva

(2) ruth housman, July 21, 2009 1:18 PM

Admit One

You make a good argument for allowing mistakes into our lives. Unfortunately, I thought the particular example had its problems, because it is unclear in this situation, morally unclear, for the cop and perhaps for your son in a way too, because everywhere there was NO parking at this hour due to worshippers, and the cop was right in thinking to put a ticket on that car. Sometimes we all should open our eyes and also look around. It seems there was major ambiguity here, and that's where all moral questions reside, namely, in the gray area. I think HAD he put a ticket on this car, the recipient might have realized why, and yes, could have argued it, but surely the reason would have been abundantly clear.

(1) Rosen, July 19, 2009 11:37 AM

avoiding remorse on minutia

It would be best if we were all able to tell ourselves not to sweat the minutia in life, which can get in the way of the bigger picture. We also shouldn't have to dwell on the past, because like what Wayne Gretzky of the NHL said, "skate to where the puck is going and not where it has been." Otherwise, if we dwell on our mistakes, especially the small ones, it will eat us up like locusts all over us. Therefore, focus on what's really important in life, and not get peeved at certain minutia.

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

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Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

Click here to order Yaakov Salomon's new book, Salomon Says: 50 Stirring and Stimulating Stories.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.