I Know Best

by Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

Blogging doesn't make you an expert. Trust me, I know.

Published: January 30, 2010
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Visitor Comments: 17

(17) SusanE, February 15, 2010 6:13 AM

We All Think We are Experts.

Thanks for the Video named 'I Know Best'. It sure hit home with me. Rabbi Salomon, YOU are my Rabbi, you along with 5 or 6 others here at Aish.com. YOU and the Torah Portion, and the other Rabbis are my source of information and knowledge, and the ethics to live by. I don't blog or interface on many sites on the internet. I didn't ask questions when I was little cause I couldn't get answers. But, If I stated a fact, right or wrong, I would get opinions. My family might not have the answer but they would give lots of opinions, then I had to process what I thought the truth was. I come across as a know-it-all, but I don't in fact know very much. I state a opinion in the comments section and hope for someone to challenge it or to give me an answer, but they don't. Some of the other Rabbis have suggested books to read and one has emailed me with some answers. They have been wonderful. You Rabbis are the only place I know where the answers are not only your opinions. The answers are based on Torah and based on fact. Even if sometimes I don't want to agree, I respect the way you give us something to think about. I will have a question and will read the answers from several Rabbis about the subject. Two Rabbis.......Three opinions can also be mentioned here.. lol

(16) elisheva miriam, February 10, 2010 2:57 PM

RABBI'S vs THE YETZER HORA

A rabbi can talk and give advice but if, for instance, a man is mistreating a woman and she takes him to a Rabbi ... the rabbi may not know or understand fully what is going on but gives his advice... or worse yet, does absolutely NOTHING to help the situation - could be the YETZER HORA of the Rabbi, or the man or the woman or everyone involved. ULTIMATELY people have a responsibility to prepare themselves for advise, BOTH the giving and taking. If that does not occur... it will surely be the biggest and most EXPENSIVE waste of time imaginable...often leading to TRAGIC consequences... many lives have been ruined... something to think about eh Rabbi?

(15) Lea, February 5, 2010 3:51 PM

Ask a rabbi? Where are they?

I agree with you 100%, unfortunately also to find a GOOD rabbi is a matter of mazal, like a good doctor or a good lawyer. I didn't have this mazal yet. if you could give me a good rabbi I would very much appreciate it. I have anough questions to ask.

(14) Don Kastner, February 4, 2010 6:08 PM

That is so true....

As a person of 51, I know so much, but at the same time, I know so little. With all the knowledge, I have learn how little I know. My hope is that I never stop learning. It is written in the bible that G-d said "that my people die due to the lack of knowledge". It not exact, but close enough. I appreciate your articles very much. G-d bless.

(13) Anonymous, February 4, 2010 5:08 AM

easier than u think

my husband & i will do no move in our life without consulting our rabbi. u would think- what can a man from a sheltered religious background offer my business, or about working people when he's at the beit- midrash all day. everything is in the tora , so a man who studies it and understands it could offer you the best advice for everything in your life- from business to relationships to parenting to halachic advice. do not underestimate the real rabbis.

(12) Anonymous, February 4, 2010 3:02 AM

I think this advice is great - the advantage of asking the advice and guidance of rabbis is that you know their opinion will directly come from Torah ideas, adapted to today's society. You basically can never go wrong! Just a few responses to prev. writers: 4)Michael: Thank G-d, nowadays, there is so much Torah and Rabbis giving lectures online! You can learn so much from them through the internet or by downloading shiurim on you ipod. Its not like being physically far from a Jewish community can distance you spiritually. 5)Barak: There are many, many Rabbis who are themselves baal t'shuva. You have to pick your Rav - the one that represents you best. 6) Jonathan Shopiro: I dont think there is anything wrong with listening to other ppl's opinions and I dont think the idea here was to tell you otherwise. Following the advice of a Rav has nothing to do with blindness, it actually opens you eyes to many things you might not have thought of...

(11) RH, February 4, 2010 2:42 AM

Blind without the Torah!

If one is fortunate enough to have a Rabbi whom he respects he should make every attempt to follow his advice. That is the meaning of "make yourself a Rabbi". That is to say, someone who will tell you what the Torah viewpoint is on matters and advise you accordingly. Whether we agree or not, we are obliged to follow the Torah. That is the way us Yidden accepted the Torah by saying 'Naaseh V'nishma', we will do as told whether we feel like it or not. That is not to say that the Rabbi can't make a mistake. However, if we try to follow our Rabbi's advice more and question him less, we are doing the will of Hashem. That does not mean we shouldn't try to understand his (the Torah's) position to the best of our ability, keeping in mind that he is the transmitter of the adivce of the Torah. And yes, we are actually blind in a way in our views without the light of the Torah. So 'blind' acceptance is not necessarily a bad thing!

(10) Linda, February 3, 2010 6:58 PM

What about being a Baal Teshuvah without a family or Rabbi to help support your situation?

I know what you are talking about. For instance, my husband and I have started a business for helping Jewish Singles all over and have been all over the internet. We have been trying to contact synagogues and Rabbis to endorse us, but we don't seem to get a response from them. I spoke to one Rabbi that actually told me he would get something put together, then contact me very soon. I have not heard from him yet. He was my Rabbi that helped me become FRUM to begin with, but he has not come through for me either. Yes, he could be busy, but I send him emails to follow up with him. I don't hear any feedback from anyone except once in a while by email someone tells us a little bit about themself. What about Rabbis who help you become Frum, then forget about you in the long run?

(9) Marie, February 3, 2010 5:29 PM

When I was growing up, my parents were our source of guidance and inspiration when we weren't sure about what to do or not to do. They also taught us that we could use them as an "out" when we found ourselves caught in an uncomfortable situation with our peers that we weren't able to explain our way out of using our own words. As an adult, I have found a great deal of comfort and wisdom by having my "own, personal rabbi" who knows me and my family when seeking advice and assistance in my sometimes feeble attempts at working toward a Torah lifestyle. I know that he often defers his answer to a question or situation until he checks it out with one or more of his own mentors, thus giving me the assurance that I am not blindly following any one man. Being able to call upon a rabbinic mind with a halachic issue a couple of hours erev Yom Tov or Shabbat is no small joy!

(8) , February 3, 2010 4:31 PM

Rabbi Salomon raises at least three interesting points: 1) Thinking that “I’m the expert” 2) The act of consulting someone else 3) Respecting the opinion of someone with more/different education/experience I question Rav Salomon’s conclusions about cause and effect. Does someone think that he is an expert because he writes a blog, or does someone write a blog because he already thinks that he is an expert? Probably, people think that they are experts before they write, but frequently their expertise may be mediocre, and blogging provides a platform to expound mediocrity. We should assess someone’s expertise before deciding how much to trust their opinions. Consulting someone else is in itself a positive act, even if the person we are consulting is not an expert. Merely articulating our ideas and getting feedback forces us to sharpen our ideas and to be more honest. Of course, there are endless forums on the Internet where anonymous and mindless discussions on every possible subject take place, so discussion in itself is no guarantee of quality feedback. Listening to the opinion of someone whose education/experience/values we respect helps us to evaluate our own ideas. Sometimes our rabbis/gurus can cut through the fog straight to a critical point. Sometimes they can even guide us to proper conclusions. However, I believe that we cannot rely exclusively on the expert opinions others. We should understand the views people with different opinions. We can fall into a trap of ignoring views different than our own. It is important to listen to trusted guides, but also to hear the opinions of those who disagree with us. By critically assessing the views of our critics and seeking out our own weaknesses, we can solidify and hone our own ideas. And by the way, we should expect our opinions and conclusions to change over time as we achieve greater learning, understanding, and perspective. That is called wisdom.

(7) Jennifer, February 3, 2010 4:29 PM

Here's my expert opinion

I'm glad you're done talking because now I'm going to tell you absolutely everything you need to know on the subject.... Spot on, Rabbi. I will recommend an EXCELLENT book by Andrew Keen entitled "Cult of the Amateur." The author warns that many children and adults today do not know how to process fact from opinion. Eg, The Israelis are murdering Palestinians, and there are awful pictures on a website -- it's proof positive! All the information on the web is not bad, but discerning verifiable information from unverifiable information is critical step in logical thinking. I'm a professional researcher and was aghast when I ask a colleague how he found a certain piece of information. His response: No one had to TELL me. I just put two and two together! With verifiable information that I discovered, I found that his "intuitive" information was simply wrong. The internet is great -- if you know how to use it. Perhaps we should save the web for those who have passed a test on basic logical thinking. We don't allow 10-year-olds license to drive cars. Perhaps we shouldn't give them (at any age) a license for the internet until they have proven they know how to classify information as gossip or reliable. As an aside, some bloggers are so narcissistic that they have no idea that the world doesn't care what they ate for breakfast. If people are going to blog, at least make the subject something with a bit of depth and meaning and, to borrow your phrase, "something to think about."

(6) Jonathan Shopiro, February 3, 2010 3:38 PM

Great. Who's yours?

It seems to me we are listening to others' opinions more, not less, but we are more skeptical. That is, instead of accepting one opinion we are searching out alternative views. Is this a bad thing? If you think we should accept the views of another without questioning, let me ask you, whose views do _you_ follow so blindly?

(5) Barak, February 3, 2010 3:24 PM

Easier said than done...

Well there are many places you might be able to find a Rabbi. But knowledge and wisdom are 2 very different things. Lots of Rabbi's have rote knowledge, but it's difficult to find one who can apply wisdom to different situations, especially when you consider a rabbi who grew up in a sheltered, religeous community, and now has to try to relate to someone who grew up in a secular community, and is becoming more religeous.

(4) Michael, February 3, 2010 2:33 AM

Feeling Isolated

I agree completely. However, I live in a town that has no synagogue or Rabbi. I often feel the need to speak with or get the advice of a Rabbi with no outlet. The closest Rabbi is four hours away. Please take advantage of this opportunity if it is available to you.... I wish I could!

(3) Jennifer, February 2, 2010 3:39 AM

Google experts

A big pet peeve I have is that now when I say something about a movie or book or news topic to my husband, he will google on his iTouch to see if I am getting all the info correct!! Talk about respecting opinions less and less!

(2) Anonymous, February 1, 2010 3:53 AM

AMAZING! CUOLDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER

(1) Sandy, January 31, 2010 11:23 PM

Hmmm

Best one yet...I've never thought of this connection, that we ask less and seek out mentors less because we've all become instant experts. Thank you for the food for thought, and the mussar I'm taking from it.

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

More by this Author >

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

Click here to order Yaakov Salomon's new book, Salomon Says: 50 Stirring and Stimulating Stories.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.