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Dating Divorcees

Don’t they deserve another chance?


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Published: October 27, 2013


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Visitor Comments: 40

(37) David, November 5, 2013 6:40 PM

Mistakes and changes in people and direction are part of life

There was a time when people didn't divorce due to stigma. They suffered terribly and so did their children. I know someone whose wife began to make unilateral decisions regarding aspects of the marriage after almost 20 years. Those decisions affected their relationship , their children, their ability to have more children, and the husband's ability to function at work. Would it be a bad decision on his part to end the marriage? Sometimes one partner simply pulls away. I also know of several couples , married afther they were each divorced, and the second marriages have been blessed by Hashem for YEARS!

(36) Suzanne, November 5, 2013 5:18 PM

I've known many people who have been through divorce and ....

there have been many reasons for them. In a lot of cases, there is ONE person in the marriage who really is responsible for bringing about it's demise - the other person in the marriage is helpless. Strangely, a lot of divorce I've seen has been caused by women feeling at heart that they don't need their husbands and that he's "cramping their style". Other divorces I've seen have been caused by cheating. Less divorces, I've seen have been caused by drugs, alcohol and gambling and domestic violence but that happens, too. The ones I feel most sorry for are the divorces that happen because of some tragedy that the couple can't handle. There are also other reasons why people divorce and another big one is that they were married to someone who was chronically miserable, hateful, displeased etc. So what's the other person supposed to do? The trick is - when one meets someone who's been through a divorce that you would otherwise be interested in - try to find out WHY that person is divorced - are they the guilty party or not? (You might have to sneak around a little to find a general consensus). If they're guilty - yes, you're taking a chance with that person in the fact that they may not have changed their stripes. But if they're the innocent partner - they're innocent, plain and simple and should not be held responsible for their failed marriage. I'm wondering, however, if some of the reason why all 9 women bailed on this guy isn't just a lot of frum people being out of control about the
shidduh process. The orthodox world can be so out of control these days. Yes, a cohen can't marry a divorced woman but other than that there 's no reason to hang a person for being divorced, especially the innocent one. Many of these young women who stick their noses up at guys who have less than perfect pedigrees may one day just find themselves alone for good.

(35) Steve R, November 5, 2013 3:56 PM

Widow vs Divorced?

I was recently widowed. My wife of 33 years died after an almost 3 year battle with cancer. I am putting my foot in the dating pool by joining JDate. I am reluctant to contact a divorcee and would prefer a widow. But there is not a large selection of widowed woman here. Since I am just checking things out, should I prejudge a divorcee over a widow?
The other thing that really bothers me is that most are "culturally Jewish." What the hell does that mean? I am looking for someone who can be an "eishet chayal" and know what it means!

(34) Dina, November 3, 2013 2:12 PM

chaeck it out

It's okay to marry a divorced person but you should be very cautious and check him/her out well first. It could be it wasn't his fault and he was really a very good husband. It could also be that he was the most miserable rotten husband around . Don't think that people learn by their mistakes-sometimes they do, very often they don't. So check out this person carefully. , through family, friends, etc. But don't risk a twice divorced person.

(33) Anonymous, November 3, 2013 1:58 AM

divorcee

I was divorced for 10 yrs and had no desire to remarry. I was set up with a wonderful gentleman and h too was divorced for 2 yrs. We hit it off immediately and have been married for more than 9 yrs. Love and respect can be found a second time and divorce people should be given a second chance even in the observant Jewish sector. Just make sure you get your get before all papers are signed...it helps and aides in your healing. Good luck to all divorced Jewish people in hopes that you find your soul mate as I have done.

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