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Extravagant Weddings

Is it okay to spend loads of money on a private affair?

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Visitor Comments: 48

(46) Sarah Rivka :), February 10, 2014 8:56 PM


I think, in retrospect, that if you want to spend lots of money for your child's marriage it should be for practical things like renting an apartment or paying tuition for further career training, rather than for a one-day extravaganza.

(45) MABSH"Y, February 6, 2014 2:21 PM

Parnassah for others

While my own wedding was modest (And I hope the same for my children), don't forget that the family's spending on the wedding isn't just throwing the money away. The money is going for parnassah for the caterer and his staff, the florist, the musicians, the dressmaker, the baker, he videographer, the shul or hall where the event is set, the printer of the bentschers, etc. These people depend upon affairs so that they can put food on their own table, send their kids to yeshiva, and pay for all their other needs. Without affairs, they would be struggling.

Something to think about.

(44) Sanford ("Sandy") & Chana Goodman, February 2, 2014 5:58 PM

It's not the wedding, but the marriage that counts

A few years after we got married one lady who attended our wedding complimented us on how nice of an affair we had.

Our wedding wasn’t extravagant. We had a regular chuppah and we had a buffet luncheon with a reception with a one man band for the dancing plus the sheva brochos.

We thanked her for the compliment and said to her what’s more important is that we have a very harmonious marriage. She agreed with us that it’s not the wedding, but the marriage that counts.

While a person has a right to make extravagant wedding or any other simcha celebration, it really is very inappropriate to do so because it could easily initiate jealousy from those who are not quite as fortunate. We do agree that the extra money could be utilized for something more worthwhile.

We have seen too many “Hollywood weddings” where the cake lasts longer than the marriage.

Sandy & Chana Goodman, Dallas Texas

(43) Anonymous, January 28, 2014 1:27 AM

The Rabbi is right...once again!

By throwing these extravagant weddings/simchas, what you accomplish is helping people transgress the terrible Sin of "Lo Sachmod" - Do not covet. If you were blessed with affluence, spend it on needy charities. Have a nice simcha, but be considerate of those who cannot afford such elaborate affairs

(42) Dana, January 27, 2014 3:20 AM

The only reason it is wrong is bc we are in economic times where ppl are struggling. And you never know who is struggling. I've met middle class ppl who have worked their whole life and now have challenges. So...that's my take, at least for now.

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