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Honey, Your Success is Shrinking Me

Men have a hard time when the women around them do well.


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Published: September 29, 2013


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Visitor Comments: 22

(21) Kassandra, October 3, 2013 5:52 PM

Redefining masculinity and achievement

A lot of the self esteem issues that men feel when women succeed comes from the stereotypical gender roles that so many of us have been indoctrinated with. In the reality of today's economy, long gone are the times when most or all women can stay at home while their husband's work. In light of this, it has left many men wondering to what extent they are needed, wanted or provide if their wives can do as well or better than them in the provision department. It's time that men redefine what being a man and being a father and being a provider looks like. It's also time that we shift individual success (esp. in marriage) from a "my" success to an "our" success. The moment a couple goes from me to we, a lot of the competition about professional success goes out the window because one person's achievement is the family's achievement. Reframing, as was stated above, is critical to both partners feeling valued and appreciated for their individual contributions. Every achievement in a family adds up to success and both partners need to emphasize this point as each person succeeds.

(20) Anonymous, October 3, 2013 5:50 PM

Many women can attribute much of their success to the love, support, wisdom and/or guidance they received from the man in their life. I know I can. If your man has helped you get to where you are in any way, however small, TELL HIM! If this hurts your ego or diminishes your feeling of accomplishment in any way, then think again. Do you want to build your marriage? Do you want to be a person of gratitude and humility? Acknowledging the help you got is part of your greatness and your success. So look deeply into what you have received from your man, tell him and make him feel like a million bucks.

(19) miriamwcohen, October 3, 2013 1:54 PM

not a problem

Really, all men react that way? You can find a study to support whatever view you have. The Ultra Orthodox world has a very narrow view of Women's roles, and even there it is changing.
Women and men are equal, yet different in their abilities. Yes, some women are more successful than their husbands, and not all men find that threatening.

(18) Gabriel, October 3, 2013 4:00 AM

Togetherness !

A metaphor of the Talmud:

A man works in the field and brings home wheat—but shall he then eat wheat? Of what use is his toil?

His wife grinds the wheat into flour and makes bread.

So too, the tasks of life: A man’s spiritual accomplishments only become realized in the material world due to his wife.

(They have to work together)

(17) Stewart Beveridge., October 3, 2013 1:52 AM

Useful Advice.

When asked to give a word of advice to those intending marriage, I usually include "Always be the first to apologise. Always be the last who needs to do this.'
Sadly this is sometimes forgotten after the bliss of being Newly Married has dimmed a little.

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