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I Don't

Is divorce the new marriage?

Published: December 19, 2010


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Visitor Comments: 41

(41) lisa, December 29, 2010 3:11 AM

Its their party & they'll cry ( or not) if they want to!!!

This is truely something you can't really comment on until you've been through a divorce. As it says in Perkai Avot.....let's not judge our fellow man until we've been in his shoes.

(40) Anonymous, December 27, 2010 3:53 PM

Totally agree with Shunrata!!!!

100% agree with the women that say celebrating a bit is not making a mockery of divorce...it's just telling the world...I'm OK.it'll be OK...it's like letting out a big sigh!!

(39) Shunrata, December 27, 2010 9:56 AM

Yes, you ARE missing something!

Rabbi Salomon, I am so very happy for you that you are missing something. It means that you have never been through the horrible nightmare of an abusive marriage. After being through years of hell, the first time you close the door at night and realize you don't have to be afraid of anyone you live with - well, that is certainly a reason for celebration and relief. There are times divorce is not just 'acceptable' or 'necessary', it is freedom from bondage. Do we celebrate Pesach, when we escaped the evil Egyptians? Do we celebrate Independence Day? Then why not celebrate escaping a physically or psychologically brutal spouse? The cake and ring thing seems a little weird, but I'd be inclined to cut some slack in this situation.

(38) Anonymous, December 27, 2010 2:11 AM

Celebrate your new life it's a rebirth.

Staying in a marriage that has ended is making a mockery of marriage. To ridicule, pretend, cheat and deceive is making a mockery of marriage. I could say you are making a mockery of devorce by jeering and by being glib. You made your point and I had a good laugh. I say celebrate. Invite friends and family from both sides let them know there is no need to choose sides. If it's possible both parties minus attorneys could be present. Am I missing something? I am 70 years old devorced at 43 wish I celebrated. My kids and family would have been better for it...to know Mom is O.K. and entering a rebirth.

(37) Leslie Duverge, December 27, 2010 12:54 AM

I don't think Rabbi Salomon is missing anything from the new ways of divorce. I firmly believe it is people's lack of integrity with their own self and the sanctity of marriage. A marriage is something beautiful from God, and I agree that when there are children, it is true, there is a great level of pain for the children regardless of their age. After 26 years of marriage and three children, mine ended in divorce. I felt compelled to file for divorce, but I would never celebrate the trials and tribulations of a marriage gone wrong. When someone called me to celebrate, I thought it was very disrespectful of my friend to suggest a celebration. Rather, it is as if a part of what I worked so hard to sustain for the sake of family permanence and our children, left my soul...it is more as if mourning a loved one, regardless of the circumstance that led to the divorce. Celebrating a divorce in any way, to me is low, and a lack of respect toward one's own children and toward that other person with whom you had built a life before. It would be more beneficial to focus on offering mental and emotional stabilities to the children by the divorcing parties. Thanks Rabbi Salomon for discussin the issue and making people more conscious about their behavior towards divorce.

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