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Learning to Cope

One vital ingredient in the psychotherapeutic process: Just talk.


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Published: July 13, 2013

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Visitor Comments: 16

(12) Anonymous, May 17, 2015 5:04 PM

Re: Learning to Cope

I began Counseling 40 years ago, and along with my Spiritual Faith and a few reliable friends, it has kept me stable. Until that time, I had been happy and successful in every area of life; on my 13th Wedding Anniversary, my husband left me for someone else. It sounds odd, but I had No warning, and I couldn't even comprehend what he was saying. I shattered into countless pieces, like a fine, fragile vase smashed on concrete! He was in the medical field and realized how much I needed help; he found a wonderful Psychiatrist for me, and at one point, she literally saved my Life by saving me from suicide. (That is a Major story in itself, and I recommend that it be a topic for discussion one day!)
In the beginning, I had to go every week, but gradually I was able to go less frequently. I am very Blessed because she is now semi-retired but still sees me whenever I call her. This is important because when someone has been listening to you for decades, they can quickly help with a current problem -- you don't have to repeat yourself. One day I asked her, "Why do I have to keep getting counsel after all these years?" and she responded, "You don't have to -- when a new problem appears, you would eventually work it out, but why not let me help you? We can probably resolve an issue in 60 minutes, and by yourself, it might take 6 months or more." That gave me great relief. Because of my counseling, I am able to recognize when I need help, and I ask for it right away. In recent years, I have probably gone a couple of times a year.
Counseling has been highly successful for me: I became a professional in the financial field, raised a wonderful child, traveled, survived cancer and a serious genetic condition, won a Federal discrimination lawsuit and am in a battle with the IRS as a result of the lawsuit! When the smoke clears, I will still be standing!!
Thank you Rabbi for providing this opportunity to speak -- I hope it encourages others!

(11) Anonymous, February 2, 2014 2:48 PM

I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS

I HAVE BEEN GOING TO A THERAPIST FOR THE LAST THREE YEARS, I HAVE BEEN SPEAKING AND YET THE PROBLOM IS ONLY GETTING WORSE, NOT BETTER. HINT: THINK HOSPITAL. AS IN PYSCHIATRIC.

(10) SusanE, August 1, 2013 11:20 PM

You are right. People long for someone to listen.

Rabbi, For whatever reason people talk to me. Strangers in stores, restaurants, at gatherings. When my kids were teenagers they used to say "Mom! why do people come up and tell you stuff? I really didn't know then. The stories are of an achievement or a happy time or of a sadness, or of an unexpected event in their lives. They just needed to tell it. And I was nearby. - - - - - - - I am a mouthy person and many times a know-it-all as you know from my spouting off here on Aish. But, it's different when a stranger walks over to me and begins talking.... I listen. I can feel what they are feeling. Rabbi, there are so many of us who are desperately lonely. We have family and we have friends, but we don't have any one who listens to us. Every living being needs a safe place. After 40 years of these experiences I think that is why they share their stories. I must look safe. Thank you for this article on coping and and the need to talk.

(9) Chaim, July 23, 2013 1:55 AM

Would love to speak but my chavrusa doesn't show up

Maybe my "speeches" are too boring? Perhaps Dr. Salomon can suggest a "speech coach" to improve my oratory skills?Anyway, it's something to think about....and speak about...if allowed.
Love this Aish feature!

(8) Mati, July 19, 2013 1:57 AM

There is nobody for me to speak to

and it wouldn't help anyway. There are some things you cannot change....and the wisdom to know the difference

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