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Saying Goodbye to Narcissism

Is it “normal” to be selfish?

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Visitor Comments: 35

(33) Anonymous, May 16, 2016 7:40 PM

what it does

this disorder is aggravating at best, to those who are connected to the Narcissist. In the Jewish community, they hold people emotional hostages.....they turn stories around. for instance if a mother in law has NPD, she will find a reason why her child's inlaws did something which violated their well being, so she has to cut them out to not see the grandchildren etc. They also will causually and carefully and cleverly spread rumors about the people they want to discredit....AND MORE. It is a terrible Disorder and there are people suffering out there from being connected to it, who can't and won't say anything, so as they say : be kind to others, for you never know what battles they are fighting, what kind of challenges they have. Another important point is that when the accused is being picked on, if YOU hear that someone didn't behave properly in a situation, you should never judge, because those reports could have been distorted by the narcissist. We know from Jewish law, not to listen to, or believe rumors, and we must know that Jewish law is wiser than us, so beware and be smart and be educated in this. theres more to learn. If you want to help potential sufferers, then help educate others in what this horrible disorder is. Its insidious and hideous and more.

(32) chani, January 16, 2011 2:38 AM


Interesting way of noting behavioral changes in people. I can see this trend, and I am glad to hear it being verbalized. It just cements for me the need to counterbalance narcissism with giving. It can be very hard to give when you feel you are not receiving, but it helps to remember that others may not be aware of the much greater "pleasure" of giving. And by giving to others, you may just help to spread that message.

(31) Mati, December 25, 2010 8:23 PM

What's the object here?

Is the object of R.Salomon's video to complain about psychology? Or is it the object of this video to point out that the world has made selfishness a norm? I think it is the latter. People think that S'dom and Amorrah were destroyed because of homosexuality. People are too simpleminded to see that homosexuality was the indicator of what was really going on with the city: Narcissicm. Everyone wanted to satisfy themselves and didn't care about their fellow man. They wanted the angels not because they were "gay". They wanted to oppress the angels like prisoners want to show their dominion over the fellow inmates. That is, rather than being hospitable and giving to the angels, they wanted to take and overpower them. Have homophobes even asked themselves, "Why would daughters be offered to "gay" men?" if homosexuality was the issue? A selfish "it's all about me" world is exactly what is predicted as a birthpang to the coming of the Messiah and the Messianic what xtians call "the end of the world." Selfishness narcism will grow even worse and I think this is what is bothering the rabbi and not whether or not it is a disease or what psychiatry thinks. One can see this "all about me" trait in divorce reasons, equality issues, gay and other "rights" (which are not seeking "human rights"), parent-teacher-student relationships, commercials, pursuits of happiness paradigms (ie., what makes happiness), lawsuit activities, abortion, and on and on....

Alvin, October 26, 2011 3:40 PM

Why would daughters be offered?

Maybe Lot offered his daughters because he KNEW the people were not interested in his daughters sexually. I think it's a rather good plot. Makes him look like a sicko to us, but in reality quite smart considering the crowd he was dealing with.

(30) Anonymous, December 19, 2010 6:12 AM

A very thought provoking issue

You ask a good question. Although just because the American Psychiatric Association no longer lists it, doesn't mean it isn't a problem. It just means that if psychiatrists can't prescribe Prozac for it, then it doesn't concern them. I don't have a high opinion of psychiatry. Surely, there must be unbearably narcissistic people that will run every one of their relationships into the ground. I can't remember the last time I met one. However there is a mild form of narcisissm in our society that is very prevalent and growing more so, I feel. I have been guilty of the "hoarder" mentality, to save every cent because you may get laid off tomorrow. And if you don't, you save every cent, because how do you know if you will have enough to retire. I remember being chided by a secretary who made a fraction of what I was making, because I failed to contribute to the department charity drive. Judging by statistics on the amount of charity given by the average American, this attitude is very common. Since I have become Baal Teshuvah, I have met many frum people that exemplify selflessness and helping others. This is in marked contrast to the society-at-large. I've met people that have an open Shabbos table for all guests. There are people who make the rounds of the city hospitals just to visit patients with Jewish names. They will even bring you chicken soup, challahs, and Shabbos lights for Shabbos if you ask them. I've met people who give food out of their refrigerator to an unemployed person. They readily open their purses for Tzedakah. This is not to mention the many support groups for unemployed people in the community. You take a look around and you see that very often these very same people are blessed with financial stability, and lots of grandchildren. "Man does not live by bread alone, rather by everything that emanates from the mouth of G-d does man live." (Devarim 8:3)

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