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Tips for the Newlyweds

My son just got married. Now what?

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Published: January 4, 2014

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Visitor Comments: 47

(47) SusanE, January 14, 2014 3:15 AM

Happiness to the Newlyweds!

The advice is so easy and so simple. Never become competitive. You are both now, in the same place. Make sure it's a happy place.

(46) jack A, January 13, 2014 5:38 PM

words can never be retracted " think before you speak"

Always talk positively and with humor.

(45) Anonymous, January 12, 2014 8:36 PM

Advice I gave my beloved children and children-in-law before their marriages.

1) The laws of lashon hara, the guidelines regarding acceptable speech, apply to what we say to and about our spouses. One of the greatest threats to marriages are words. Use them carefully
2) Arguments are virtually never about the stated topic. When conflict arises in your marriage, work to identify and address the real issue.
3) Allow a little amnesia in your marriage. Not general anesthesia or total unawareness--just a little amnesia, for real mess ups. Get over it and move on. Don't hold grudges.
4) Never underestimate the power of simple pleasantness. In the Psalms, we are told that the ways of Torah are pleasant. Spouses and children deserve pleasant home atmospheres. Make a pleasant atmosphere a goal in your home.
5) Much marital conflict results from financial strain. Try to live under your means. Physical exhaustion also contributes to marital stress. Try to be well rested.
6) Never forget that someday you and your spouse will be temporarily separated. Hashem will take one of your souls to the Next World. One of you will be left here to bury the other of you. Conduct yourself throughout your marriage, in such a way as to have a clear conscience when that sad time comes.
7) Pray to the One Who created your spouse, and you, and your marriage, for help in making it meaningful, joyful, and pleasant.

(44) Jong, January 12, 2014 6:21 PM

Keep the end picture in mind

Keep the end picture always in your mind, a happy couple for many years.

(43) Dena, January 11, 2014 8:57 PM

Mazel Tov!

Give of your self %100. Marriage is not %50-50. Decide this minute that the most important thing in your lives is to make each other happy.

Read the Sheva Bruchos for advice how to do this: " Reim ahuvim :" Beloved friends .Be each other's best, most loving friend. "b'Gan Eden mikedem" Just as there was no one else in their lives but each other, so it should be with you (at least until the children come!) "Asher yatzar es haadam btzlmo" Who created us in His image remember, your husband/wife is a tzalem Elokim, treat them as such. "asher barah" study the beautiful words in that bracha and learn their deep meanings. They are just repeats. And live with those words, for 120 years!

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