Virginia Tech: A Lesson in Mourning

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Published: April 18, 2007
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Visitor Comments: 17

(17) Forrest, May 1, 2007 7:52 AM

The good rabbi fails to mention the really wrenching pain and despair of the parents of the shooter. None of the parents of the victims will suffer more than they do.

(16) Carolyn Gillihan, April 26, 2007 9:58 AM

Good words

Thank you for your compassionate expression and the challenge to us to make something good of the pain we feel because of this terrible tragedy.

(15) Mike Shaw, April 25, 2007 5:06 PM

But channeled into what?

I agree; the helpless feeling of being in a room with a shooter and having no way to defend yourself must be horrible, much like the feeling we had in nazi death camps. But Rabbi, you never say what you would like to see those felings channeled into? Give a solution, don't just point at the problem.
I have to wonder what the shooter would have felt if, instead of the look of terror on his victim's faces, instead he was greeted with 32 well placed shots from pistol packing students in a society where we are free to defend ourselves? The university and the police aren't there to protect us, they are there to clean up and punish afterwards. That would put an instant halt to the shooter and to any copy cat shooters. And 32 innocent people would still be alive.

(14) Miriam, April 25, 2007 12:21 PM

A Lesson in Mourning

Hashem casts the shadow of darkness upon our lives in order that we may learn to love.For nothing is as gentle as strength and nothing is stronger than gentleness.We must learn that we are one and that we must LOVE each other.Reach out and comfort your neigbor.

(13) Anonymous, April 25, 2007 3:23 AM

Your words have helped us find strength to withstand the feelings of grief
following the shocking massacre of so many innocent lives. Though these
were perfect strangers to us we sensed the shadow of darkness which HaShem
shed on the families of those whose loved ones were summarily gunned down.
Perhaps better than most nations, we Israelis can feel the intense pain of
those families as they struggle with the loss of someone so precious to
them. We, too, wept as we recalled the loss of the fallen soldiers and
victims of terrorism this past Sunday. Just as this crazed murderer robbed
these college students of the life they so justly deserved so have the
hostile enemies surrounding our tiny land stolen from us 22,305 precious
souls.

The siren which momentarily immobilized us invariably brought to mind a
jumble of memories. Images of the past come and go. Some fade away .
Others are hard to erase from memory. Those that are most vivid in our
minds cause us to stop and think and rethink about the meaning of life.
Your words underlined that message.

Yes, it is a difficult period. The truly blessed are those whose anguished
hearts are able to withstand the feelings of grief when HaShem casts that
shadow of darkness on their lives.

(12) Me :), April 24, 2007 9:15 PM

To: Sarah (why all the empathy?)

No one is saying that what Cho did was *right* - you, fortunately were raised with the idea of controlling yourself; of how completely precious every, single human life is. Not everybody is taught that. Yes, you're right - millions of people suffer from depression... Again, that does not *justify* what he did - but it gives some backround. Depression erases all rational thought from a person's mind; even if something logically, normally does NOT make sense/is not right, a depressed person cannot always realize that. If he wasn't being treated in the correct way, that does offer some part of an explanation. No one is trying to *defend* Cho for what he did - it was an awful, inhumane thing to do. But when tragedy happens, people need to *do* something - and sometimes people need to explore... to find some rational way to look at what has happened; to try and comprehend it. With the technology we have today, it's possible to do that searching where everyone can see it - whether it be the internet, TV, worldwide newspapers, etc... I think people were also trying to make the point about (1) danger signs, and (2) kindness.

(11) Margarita, April 24, 2007 8:22 PM

hard question

It's a hard question to ask who is guilty (except the murderer). I have noticed how some people blame TV, long working hours, lack of family support, guns, no guns on campus...
I think that the whole lesson is wrong. We have heard about the heroic act of Prof. Librescu. But lets look at it: the murderer got our attention, papers ran front page stories about his life, everyone knew his name. What about good heroic act? Somewhere at the back of the paper, small article (not in every paper)....
We celebrated the killer and forgot the hero. That is sad and very wrong.

(10) seeker, April 24, 2007 6:36 PM

it is to sad that the boy{the killer}didn't get the help that he needed, then that he felt that he had to take lives while he was going out, then it's really sad that he'll be stand in front of our Lord; with all the people he killed.

(9) j, April 24, 2007 6:36 AM

pro-gun rhetoric

It's sad to read comments by individuals concerning the murder/suicide of young adults as an opportunity for them to argue for more guns. Perhaps every advocate for the virtue of guns should volunteer to go to Iraq for a spell and relieve one young soldier who has had enough of guns and prevent one of the many cases of post traumatic stress from which many of our soldiers suffer. This might contribute to the mental health of our population while preserving the ranters' rights to bear AND USE their arms.

(8) ruth housman, April 22, 2007 3:30 PM

the wisdom of Salomon

There is no question that when we are rocked by the terrible suffering from horrific, unspeakable deeds, such as what happened, we are shaken out of complacency and into a dialogue with G_d if we are seeking religious or spiritual answers, and also into a contemplation of the gift of life and also the vagaries of this gift. There but for fortune could be you, or I, or anyone else. It is a matter of time and plac and circumstance. We are thrown, unknowingly into situations not in our control. This state of throwness, exists from our very beginnings, at birth and before. There is so much seemingly given that we must deal with and not all of this could be characterized as "easy".
I believe the lesson goes deeper and that lesson is that we are all of us one and that separateness is an illusion in many ways. We see this in the words apart and a part, two words that illustrate a profound paradox that permeates our lives.

In order to create for us all, a life of harmony that is about goodness, truth, equality and justice, we must educate each other, especially our children in reverence for all life. It is clear to me as a therapist, that we each tell ourselves a story and that story has much to do with our experiences of life and then we process this experience through particulate lenses.

Children need mentors who teach love. Families need help. We must think about violence and how we promote this. We must think about guns and availability. But beyond this, the ethos must change. Is this possible? We can only keep trying. The terrible thing about all of this is that we never seem to learn from history. I think we must start to re examine what we are teaching in the schools, how we are to each other, and the blinders that prevent all of us from seeing certain truths about being humane and kind in a world that is seemingly increasingly unkind. We have the word mankind. Let's work at this!

(7) Marina Rivera del Aguila, April 20, 2007 3:29 PM

Too much TV!

If TV were wiped out altogether from our living rooms for the next 100 years, where else would our youth find DAILY classes on violence, insolence, and anti heroism? The present kind of TV results were there for all to see in Virginia Tech.

(6) Al Lovitz, April 20, 2007 12:36 PM

Helpless

By 1936, Adolph Hitler had suceeded in disarming the German people. Once Poland was overran, they too were disarmed. I wonder how many of those in the Warsaw revolt wished that they had had a 2nd amendment to protect their right to bear arms.

In talking with a friend of mine that has family in Israel, he commented to me that the number of schools that have been over ran by terrorists as well as the number of Israeli planes taken over by terrorists is nil. The reason? School personnel, pilots, air crew members are armed. The misfits that commit the crimes such as what Cho did at Virginia Tech (or Columbine, or the Amish school) all have a common denominator - no-one in the midst of the victims could defend themselves. In recently watching a CNN panel of "experts" discussing the VaTech tradegy, the discussion centered around "...the gun store that sold Cho the gun is to blame. Finally, a Phychologist on the panel (evidently not screened well by CNN producers) said, I think we've missed something - it was the misfit behind the gun that was the problem, and many indicators were missed leading up to the shootings. A firearm is nothing more than a tool - it's the person behind the weapon that makes the tool do good or bad work.

(5) Sarah, April 19, 2007 11:30 PM

no justification-pure cruelty

Why is there so much justification regarding this murderer-Cho- in the media? I dont understand all the empathy.Yes he was picked on. I also was picked on in high school.I do not have the right to take someone elses life. He was cruel, selfish, and evil. He knew exactly what he was doing. He suffered from depression. millions of people suffer from depression. NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!!!!

(4) Donald, April 19, 2007 4:50 PM

Horrific Tragedy At Virginia Tech

What an IRONIC tragedy! And as long as we are discussing horrific events like this, and especially since this heinous crime occured on Yom HaShoah, and because one of the maxim's of remembering the Holocaust is, "Never again!", then what do you think the outcome could have been, if Prof. Librescu; or any other adult besides the shooter, had been allowed to exercise his inalienable right to defend his life - and anyone else for that matter, e.g., students - by carrying a concealed handgun!?

Would his [Prof. Librescu's] mere possession of a handgun have guaranteed his survival, and that of his students? We will never know. However, what I can guarantee you is, that if Prof. Librescu had been allowed to carry a concealed handgun on Virginia Tech's campus, and if he had been able to access it before the deranged shooter burst through the door of his classroom, I wouild dare say, that the outcome would have been a much more positive one!

"Never again", entails having the means available by which one can easliy defend his/her life, or that of anyone else. And handguns, ever since their invention, have fulfilled that role in a most excellent manner. Finally, being armed with the means to defend one's life; or the lives of others, fulfills the halachic requirement of never relying upon miracles. Just something else to think about.

(3) Miriam, April 19, 2007 10:08 AM

Thank you from a Virginia Tech family

My son and daughter-in-law met at Virginia Tech during Sukkos of their freshman year. Her sister is a current sophomore and lives on campus. She also met her Jewish boyfriend there. The Holy One Blessed Be He spared her life. After the convocation she made the 5 hour drive back to her home to her parents and family. She needed the blessed loving comfort that only they can supply. When classes resume she will join the students, instructors and support personnel who make this university set in the Blue Ridge Mountains the open and peaceful institution it is.

(2) Jack, April 19, 2007 9:33 AM

Feeling the pain

Thank you Rabbi Salomon for giving us a perspective on this unimaginable tragedy that has captivated the entire country.

But I can't stop wondering why we don't feel the same pain for the more than 300 people who have died in car accidents in America since the shootings? Not to mention the people in Iraq and Darfur. The list goes on.

Why are we reacting differntly to this?

Life is precious.

(1) Annette, April 19, 2007 8:22 AM

Amen.

Amen.

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About the Author

Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

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Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, C.S.W. is a noted psychotherapist, in private practice in Brooklyn, N.Y. for over 25 years. He is a Senior Lecturer and the Creative Director of Aish Hatorah's Discovery Productions. He is also an editor and author for the Artscroll Publishing Series and a member of the Kollel of Yeshiva Torah Vodaath.

Rabbi Salomon is co-author, with Rabbi Noah Weinberg, of the best selling book "What the Angel Taught You; Seven Keys to Life Fulfillment," (Mesorah), and is also the co-producer of the highly-acclaimed film, "Inspired."

Click here to order Yaakov Salomon's new book, Salomon Says: 50 Stirring and Stimulating Stories.

In these marvelous stories -- brimming with wit, understanding, a touch of irony and a large helping of authentic Torah perspective -- we will walk with a renowned and experienced psychotherapist and popular author through the pathways of contemporary life: its crowded sidewalks, its pedestrian malls, and the occasional dead end street. This is a walk through our lives that will be fun, entertaining -- and eye-opening. In our full -- sometimes overfull -- and complex lives, Yaakov Salomon is a welcome and much-needed voice of sanity and reason.

His speaking, writing and musical talents have delighted audiences from Harvard to Broadway and everything in between. Rabbi Salomon shares his life with his wife, Temmy, and their unpredictable family.

Virginia Tech: A Lesson in Mourning

It's all about the pain.

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