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Someone gave me tickets to "Disney on Ice." The theme was "Princesses," so naturally I brought my two little girls, Bracha Leah and Malkie to the ice show.
The arena was filled with families and little girls, waving their magic wands, wearing their princess costumes, and sporting sparkling crowns. My girls were thrilled and could not wait for the show to begin.
Lights go out, music goes up, and the magic begins.
The producers of the show chose about five different Disney princess stories, ranging from the classic Snow White to the more recent Little Mermaid. The young maiden of each story came out, and the story line of their fable was played out in a short version, all gliding gracefully on ice.
A pattern soon emerged. Each story had a young, pretty girl tempted morally by some evil being, and each time she blew it, falling into peril. And each time, of course, she was saved by the handsome, brave young lad.
Yes, some day my prince will come...to save me.
My girls were mesmerized, sitting on the edge of their seats. I was incensed.
Because it was a synopsis of each story, being played out in quick succession, the pattern and message were blaringly apparent. Don't worry girls; if you get into trouble, the prince is on his way.
My girls were mesmerized, sitting on the edge of their seats. I was incensed. I looked around, hoping to find other mothers at least agitated by this Disney propaganda. It was too dark to tell. I wanted to climb out of my seat, find the gondola with the announcer, grab his microphone and announce:
"Is there any other mother here upset at what we are seeing?!"
The show ended after the grand finale with all the princesses of the story skating around the rink with their prince heroes to great applause.
As we were leaving the stadium, my girls asked to buy a princess souvenir. "It's late," I said. "Tomorrow is a school day." But what I really meant was, "Over my dead body."
We got home; I tucked them into bed as memories of musical princesses skated in their heads and I told my husband what happened. We could not think of any similar theme in Tanach -- in the Torah, Prophets or Writings. If anything, it's the exact opposite. The story of Chanukah is a perfect example.
There is a Jewish law that says that after lighting the Chanukah menorah, women are not allowed to do any work for 30 minutes. They are supposed to bask in the glow of the lights. Why? Because it was a Jewish woman who saved the day and turned the tide of the war against the Syrian Greeks, resulting in ultimate victory for the Jewish people.
The stuff they never taught you in Hebrew School.
Her name was Yehudit, or Judith. She was a young widow, the daughter of Yochanon, the High Priest. Her town was under siege by the Syrian Greek general, Halofernes. They were starving out the Jews and the men were ready to surrender. She tried to stop them, telling them not to give up, that they are God's people and they must have faith.
And that was not all she did. She snuck out of the walls of the town with a basket of salty goat cheese and pure wine, covered by a cloth. She approached the enemy camp and, using her "womanly ways," was able to enter the private tent of the general himself. Offering him the homemade cheese, he ate heartily and washed it down with the wine.
Yehudit waited, and once the general had passed out drunk, she took his own sword and chopped off his head. She placed the bloody head into her basket, covered it with the cloth, and calmly left the tent.
Upon returning to the town, she showed the men the general's head. Shocked, they displayed it in the town square for all to see. After getting over their embarrassment that this young widow had acted with such bravery while they were preparing to surrender, the men were galvanized into action.
Yehudit told them the time to act was now, for when the Greek soldiers discovered their general's decapitated body, their spirits would surely fall.
The Jewish men attacked, and won. Word spread throughout Israel, and the Jewish people were inspired to stand up and fight.
It took time, but victory was eventually ours, all because of a young Jewish woman who didn't wait for the song "Some Day My Prince Will Come." Instead she looked to her King, the Almighty, stood up, and was "Takin' Care of Business," every day, in every way.
(23) Polly , June 20, 2009
I agree with 'oh Please"
Its up to us to teach them value's not Disney, or Hollywood. Sorry Lori...I love you on Lori almost live I never miss it! I still disagree about the princess thing.
(22) shprintza , March 2, 2009
contradiction
this article was written nicely, but contradicts the ideal of tznius-if we're out there saving the day, how can we be inside away from prying eyes? this article raised a lot of unsettling questions for me and about the princesses, the way they were described was ridiculous!being familiar with their stories, i can say that firstly, them, not the princes, are portrayed as the real heros on the story-kind, good people. secondly, they were only drawn towards evil through magical forces, not because of their own faults.
(21) Laur , November 16, 2008
OH PLEASE!!!
This is the most absurd rant I've read as of late. First off, I'm a huge Snow White fan. I grew up knowing the story by heart, dressed up as her for Halloween, collected and still collect the memorabilia. I even got a Snow White tattoo for my birthday. Point is, I wanted to be her! However, even as a child I realized I knew it was, how should I put this, a story? Not an example to live by. Come on!! It is YOUR responsibility to teach your daughters what is right and what is wrong, not Disney's. It is YOUR responsibility to instill in them the independence and self confidence that makes true women. You can't tell me you didn't know the stories before hand. Snow White has been out there since the 1930s, and the story hasn't changed! If you were so upset by the 'message' you think it puts out, then why did you take them? I have been the bread winner in 3 seperate relationships when hard times came. I moved out at 18, alone. I got a job that I've kept for 5 years, by myself. I have succeeded marvelously. I met a man that is my equal. MY MOTHER taught me how to do that, not Snow White fairy tales. If you're frightened that your daughters enjoyed the magical, twirling, lighted display, then you're behaving more naively than a child. Yes they enjoyed it, they're kids! No, they didn't take it to heart and will not live their lives with the motto "Don't worry girls, if you get into trouble, the prince is on his way." Unless YOU teach them that. Everyone is always looking for someone to blame for the "corruption" and "misguidance" of our youth. What parents like you fail to realize, is that the old addage, 'it takes a village to raise a child' should not be taken literally. IT TAKES YOU, YOUR MORALS, YOUR VALUES. Are you honestly naive enough to believe that your daughters will take this to heart? That they will live their lives this way because a make believe princess, in a world of dwarves that mine diamonds and a witch with a magic apple, encourages them to? You have certainly underestimated your children. What you should have done instead of seeth like you had been dealt some injustice, is discuss it with your girls and let them hear what you believe is right. What YOUR family's beliefs are. Maybe if you would, your children wouldn't have to turn to the media. And at the same time, would you prefer your daughters to grow up and "use their womanly ways" as you put it to manipulate men? Because I hate to tell you, that's exactly what Judith did. Used her womanly ways and then tricked a man, only to kill him while he slept. Very courageous, indeed. Apparently stories that will 'corrupt' a young girl's mind are older than Walt Disney. Grow up!
(20) Anonymous , May 23, 2008
A prince is a bonus not necessarily a reality
I love the fairy tales but I agree with you, Lori, so much that we should not be teaching children from a young age that someone else will do it for them. The prince is a nice prize - but he is only that. We need to be teaching our children only they are responsible for themselves. I''m 56 and when I got married at 18, I believed I had found my prince and we would live happily ever after. Not so. I have had to learn how to do things on my own and to become brave enough to take the step out of the wrong relationship. Bravo for your comments and for your re-telling of the Judith story. Let''s tell it like it is! PS Remember your Prince in shining armour may come along but that white steed he is riding...is probably a Ford with payments and high gas consumption!
(19) Malka , April 11, 2008
In another hand
I think that Disney's princesses deserve a better traitement. I know that the message: your Prince will come one day to knock on your door and take you on his white horse to his castle, is misunderstanding and confused. All of us, we have dreamt of this man, the love of our life. So encouraging the hope and belief in the unique love is a good message. About the princesses, i just see that Cindrella had very good moral qualities and hope. Despite she was a servant, nothing, she remained positive and has been exauced. Ariel saved her love life and made so many sacrifices just to join him. She is brave also. I think that the jewish message is not so far away from these tales. Keep hope and stay good, we all deserve to meet the Prince and to know the real and unique love. Only the deseperates don't believe in that anymore and will not find the strengh to stay straight, to sacrifice themselves for the couple in begining. But of course, it's just a point of view and it can be itself contesting by some others. If your children feel joy from theses tales, you can orient their thoughts in a good way to interpretate it: Yes, there is your mazal somewhere, Yes you are a princess, Yes you are beautiful and good, Yes you are waiting for Love, Yes it's only one love, Yes you will meet him and Yes you have to believe in it and never loose faith.