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5 Ways to Accept Rejection

5 Ways to Accept Rejection

What to do when it’s over.


"I don't want to continue, I'm not interested. It’s over."

Ouch! Your ego may be bruised and your heart broken, but rejection is an unavoidable part of life. Coping strategies will help you move through breakups with greater ease and be more prepared for the right person waiting for you down the road.

1. Recognize Mr. or Mrs. Wrong. Have you ever known someone isn't right for you but stayed with them anyway? We all have reasons for staying with someone who is Mr. or Mrs. wrong. It's a blessing in disguise when the other side has the common sense and determination to suggest a breakup. Having clarity and moving on in a reasonable amount of time can save you from even bigger heartache later on. A strong "no" may hurt, especially if you're still interested. But with a strong no, it's likely there's a clear deal-breaker. While the sting of the breakup may last a while, it's better to end these types of relationships quickly. You're likely to look back and be grateful.

2. Time to face the music. Sometimes it's a relief when the other person breaks up with you. It saves you from having to be the one to do the breaking up. However, be careful not to drag a relationship out in order to force your partner to be the one calling it quits. If you really feel something should end, face the music and end it yourself.

3. Fight or flight. "I don't think this is going to work." This is a weak breakup line. But this type of rejection forces you to make a decision: Will I reject the rejection and fight for the relationship, or am I also thinking it may not work and willing to embrace the rejection? If you decide to fight for the relationship, you will need to provide reasons you think the relationship deserves another chance. These reasons have the potential to strengthen the relationship and build your bond. While it won't always produce a happy couple, it will allow you to pursue what you want, even if you’re afraid. And when it does work out, it allows a couple to be more open, vulnerable and emotionally connected going forward.

4. Get ready to make a change. Relationships often hold us back from making overdue changes. Rejection can be a great opportunity to reflect and perhaps make those changes. Maybe it's time to move, change your job or make new friends. Maybe you’ve wanted to exercise more or start eating better. (Exercise is also a great way to take charge of your life, subdue feelings of anger and frustration, and release good endorphins which will help you feel more at ease.) A breakup can help you take a fresh look at your life and give you the time and space to change it up. Growth can be uncomfortable, but it’s also good and will often lead to higher quality matches in the future.

5. Time heals all wounds. If you're hurting, give yourself enough time to reflect on the relationship and the breakup. A rule of thumb that I like is to give yourself one week for every month you were together, but everyone heals at a different pace, so don’t rush to meet any timeline. Even if you were only together a short while, you should still take time to let your wounds heal before moving on. Give your head and heart space to be on the same page and prepare for your next adventure in dating.

May your breakups be for the right reasons, and may a new love relationship come your way soon.

Got a tip? Let us know in the comment section below.

February 27, 2016

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The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 6

(6) Anonymous, May 29, 2016 9:19 AM

Adult son rejects mother

How does a mother get over this?

(5) L.S., March 11, 2016 10:15 PM

sometimes an unanswered prayer is a blessing in disguise

I agree with this article. When something doesn't work out, it is often because something better is on its way to you. It took me until the very end of my 20s to find the man who I believe is my bashert. He is not someone I would have dated in my early or mid 20s because there was a certain image I had and he is different but I could not ask for a man who is better suited for me.

(4) Scott, March 10, 2016 6:33 AM

It starts before the start

The key to life is expectations. What do you expect? When I was dating in my thirties I figured three months was my limit. If I couldn't rule see myself marrying this person after 90 days that's it. Not that I proposed after 90 days but if there were things that bothered me that I couldn't resolve in 90 days I figured I never would. Of I didn't get the sense that I could discuss the idea of marriage after 90 days for fear of making her run away, I figured id never be able to in any reasonable time frame and got out. You hear about people that invest years on relationships that never end in marriage. Who are these people? Most of them honestly are people who move into premarital intimacy and make the relationship about that. They go down the easy fun path and don't do the work to figure out whether or not the actually like and respect the person they're being intimate with. One day playtime is over and while everyone likes physical intimacy they find out they really aren't right for each other. The rest are usually the "waiting fors." Waiting for grad school to be over. Waiting for that promotion. Waiting to be in the same town. Waiting for themselves to get ready. My favorite: waiting to be able to afford an obscenely expensive wedding. The waiting fors simply aren't serious about each other or marriage. If you find the person you want to marry and that person wants to marry you you can make things happen. You will make things happen. If you can't. If they can't Then that's not the right match. Seriously you're talking about someone you expect to be there for you for the rest of your life. Life and death type stuff, especially if you live in Israel. Or have kids. Or get really sick. Or go broke. If you or they let anything get in the way of that when the stakes are low , how will that change once you get married?

(3) Charlene MC, March 3, 2016 3:59 PM

Accept not except

(2) Charlene MC, March 3, 2016 3:45 PM

I find in life that when I feel discomfort with what my changes have become, I keep prayers and fasting for the power of God to open new doors along with letting me see the doors open so I can run through them. Excepting your change is a great key for life.

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