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Ten Terrifying Truths about Marriage

Ten Terrifying Truths about Marriage

Get rid of the illusions and let your marriage soar.


Reprinted with permission from

1. You can't make anyone love you and nobody can make you happy.

2. Try all you want – you'll never change your partner. However, if you change yourself, your partner may change.

3. People don't marry people; they marry illusions and fantasies. (What a surprise to discover that your partner is as human as you are.)

4. A real marriage begins just at the point where the illusion ends. The challenge of marriage is to discover who you married.

5. Love is only one of the reasons we choose a partner. (Sometimes, it's not the most important.)

6. Most likely, the qualities that now drive you crazy are the same ones that first attracted you to your partner.

7. It is impossible to go through a relationship without experiencing periods of pain and loneliness.

8. The greatest gift you can give your children is a loving marriage.

9. A marriage succeeds when each of us realizes that our partner's needs are at least as important as our own.

10. Marriage is the best opportunity to grow, overcome selfishness and learn how to love.

Now let your marriage soar!

September 28, 2003

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Visitor Comments: 4

(4) Anonymous, November 25, 2013 3:55 AM

This is very honest and powerful. Not knowing that certain pain and growing pains is part of marriage was as hard as the tears and lonliness.When my friend told me after the fact
was when it really hit home. And some of the changes we face after many yrs of marriage will be experienced alone. I know what I felt and some of it was deep, personal and even a very good friend would not have understood it.

(3) Chrissie, October 22, 2003 12:00 AM

discovering 'who' you married is the harder thing

Is it right to 'not' be "who" you really are just for the illusion to continue on "false peace"??? I guess a 'snake' is always in the most beautiful garden. Are you really enjoying all it's beauty if you must ALWAYS keep your eyes on the alert to not step on the 'thing' (snake) as not to be bitten...over and over??? Is that marriage in a beautiful garden or 'life' on a 'lived-out' existence??? Is it worth the wait for the snake to die (selfishness), or just wait to die yourself?????????

(2) Reihan, October 1, 2003 12:00 AM

I am VERY HAPPY to find you! My entire life has changed since I dicovered you!
Thank you!

(1) gabriello marchetti, September 29, 2003 12:00 AM


It's the reality, the consciousness of the relationship with the Other person ;but also the opportunity for growing and the best message to give to our sons.In respect of life.

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