click here to jump to start of article
Join Our Newsletter

Get latest articles and videos with Jewish inspiration and insights​




Ten Things Women Wish Men Knew

Ten Things Women Wish Men Knew

Guys, print this out and refer to it often.

by

Click here to read "Ten Things Men Wish Women Knew."

Click here to download pdf file of both articles.

What, you say: Only 10?! Yes there are more. This is just a starting point. Add your additional points in the comment section below.

1) We want you to tell us you love us. Yes, we need to hear the actual words. We do not want to be like poor Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, begging his wife of 25 years to answer the question, “Do you love me?” We want you to tell us. Frequently.

2) And we want you to match your actions to your words. (Yes, we’re very demanding!) If you tell us you love us and then proceed to ignore all of our requests, needs and desires, your declaration will ring false. Not sure how? Ask us. We have a list.

3) We want to be more important than your job. We appreciate your (our) need for the fulfillment of your career ambitions but we want to feel like we are your first priority. This is usually manifested by calling during the day to check in, taking our calls and sounding like you are really interested in speaking to us, and treating us (at least) as nicely and with as much respect and sense of importance as you do your top client.

4) Time with you is much more valuable to us than more money. Yes, we appreciate the nice possessions but we’d rather go for a walk with you or spend a quiet evening together than receive a gift. Material goods do not and cannot compensate for not seeing you.

5) A few words of appreciation go a long way. “Thanks for dinner. It was delicious. I really liked the flavor” is certainly encouraging. Everyone wants to feel that their efforts are noticed and not taken for granted. Or: “I know you are also busy; thanks for going to the cleaners.” You get the picture.

6) Although you never get pregnant, our children are a shared responsibility. It is not “no big deal” (your words) when I take care of them, nor is it “an extraordinary act of kindness” (your implied words) when you do. (Along these same lines, I’ve noticed that when I go out of town you are flooded with meals and offers of help; yet when you go out of town, no one offers anything….) We are on this journey together and we are both responsible for our family.

7) We do not grow and change through criticism (do you?). You may have convinced yourself that you are only telling us for our own good but 1) you’re wrong because it’s hurtful and ineffective and 2) you’re probably doing it to make your life easier. Like children (and plants) we grow best when nourished, nurtured and loved.

8) Just because we are capable doesn’t mean we want to do everything ourselves. Changing a light bulb or taking out the garbage are not uniquely male pursuits or skills. I am certainly capable of both (this is not a source of great pride) and frequently engage in these activities. But we want you to relieve our burden, to take care of us – in all respects. We feel emotionally tended to when you take over some of these responsibilities, mundane and otherwise.

9) Clothing costs a lot more than you realize! I’m only partially being tongue-in-cheek here. Especially for newly married men who have never walked through the women’s section of a department store, the prices of basic shoes, dresses and skirts may seem absurd. They probably are. But you need to be sensitive to our needs and to what a realistic (considering many factors) expenditure will be. This experience will stand you in good stead should you ever be the parent of teenage girls!

10) Do not ever comment on our weight except to say how thin and beautiful we look.

Click here to read "Ten Things Men Wish Women Knew."

Click here to download pdf file of both articles.

Published: December 3, 2011


Give Tzedakah! Help Aish.com create inspiring
articles, videos and blogs featuring timeless Jewish wisdom.

Visitor Comments: 95

(63) Bobby5000, March 19, 2014 2:51 AM

Another list

1. Please try to be neat and pickup after yourself. If you see dishes in the sink, put them in the dishwasher, if the bed isn't made, try to make it. I don't want to nag but I do want a neat house as I think you do.

2. Let me choose the house and area to live. I am here more than you and care about it more. Remember the saying if she's not happy, no one is happy.

3.Your mother is different. Mine knows me in and out and despite our arguing, I am comfortable around her. When yours comes on short notice to my house, I imagine her saying, "oh, this looks beautiful, I love what you did with the kitchen, and look at that cute outfit for Jonathan but thinking (Mabel, the house was a mess, clothes were on the floor, the hall needs a good cleaning, no, of course, I didn't say anything,).

4. Be reasonable. If I worked, picked up the kids and made dinner, no later, I'm not going to be in the mood. I could use some nice conversation and a backrub.

5. I know you are concerned about money but things I buy are usually not for me but for the house or the kids. Try to realize what clothes and other things costs.

6. Let's get out Saturday night. I need a change of scene. I know we have been married for a good time period, but I still like what you plan something for the two of us.

7. I don't need to appear cheerful all the time. Sometimes I like a good cry and may even be mad. That's normal. Please don't trivialize a problem but telling me to calm down or it's all right.

8. I know I could lose a few pounds. It's hard to diet with a household, dinners, and a busy schedule. I have to want to diet though and I'd like you to love me as I am as I do you.

9. Part of my role is to check and followup on little things which I do for the sake of the family. I'd like you to recognize that rather than suggest I am nagging.

Larz0, July 10, 2014 6:27 PM

And she's just getting started!

There are 999 more to follow.

Here's the short version: "Give us what we want, how we want it, and when we want it, without us having to ask."

(62) Lala, December 30, 2012 11:40 AM

What about PMS?

The list I thought was great, but what about PMS? This is a serious problem us women have and men don't seem to understand/care/take it seriously. Our hormones are not controllable just as their testosterone had its own mind. Plus, most women get physically ill one way or another. Whether its very severe cramps, a headache, or just simply fatigue. If a man kept track of his partners cycle, he can avoid a lot of yelling and crazy unexplainable temper tandrums. Btw, PMS stands for PRE menstrual syndrome. Good luck ;)

marius cromhout, July 30, 2013 5:15 PM

Reply on PMS

Its all about comunication the better the comunication the better the relationship and make time for each other to really understand each anitemy better

(61) Yann, February 13, 2012 6:33 PM

Nothing but the truth

Im very soon gonna step in e world so familiar to me..my 3rd marriage! n I really wish that he take all this wish into consideration n use it with sincerity..wish me eternal love!

See All Comments

Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.


  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment
stub
Sign up today!