My Wrinkles
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My Wrinkles
Mom with a View

My Wrinkles

Do I really want my happiness to hinge on the success of the latest anti-wrinkle cream?

by

I've taken to reading magazines especially geared to the over-40 set -- my age group. Many of the articles rave about the wonderful new discoveries we make in our forties, the amazing opportunities ahead in our fifties. The best is yet to come!

While I certainly hope (and pray) that more and unique good lies ahead, I don't want to diminish the accomplishments and pleasures of the other decades of my life. Each one offered particular lessons, particular joys, and yes, particular pains. And I wouldn't trade any of them away...

But more than I was struck by this thought, I was stunned by all the advertisements and actual feature pieces of beauty in these publications. It seems that in order to really enjoy these best years of our lives, we need a lot of outside help.

All that new free time seems to be absorbed in applying various creams to our faces and necks.

While one page extols the freedoms available to the over-50 woman, the other lists all the tried and true beauty products that are absolutely necessary for aging skin. All that new free time seems to be absorbed in applying various creams to our faces and necks.

Is the problem fine lines and wrinkles or is it puffiness? Do you need firming or lifting? Collagen or peptides? Anti-oxidants or retinol? Not to mention the magical new creams that can finally eliminate cellulite. Or frown lines (avoiding those time-consuming and expensive trips to the dermatologist for Botox!).

When I close the magazine, instead of feeling empowered, I feel diminished. I stare in the mirror (another meaningful use of my time) and count the flaws. Then I'm usually overwhelmed by an urge to go shopping. But I'm confused: which product do I use when? Can I use them all simultaneously? Should I stick with one brand or be a savvy shopper and buy only the recommended products from each company? What do I do next month when they come up with new suggestions? Which is more important: my face or food for my family? (The bills for these products adds up quickly!)

"STOP!" I scream to all those clamoring internal voices. Yes I want to look attractive (don't we all?) and yes, I need to take care of my skin, but do I really want my happiness to hinge on the success of the latest anti-wrinkle cream?

I'm disappointed in the magazine and disappointed in myself. Although I think we should always be striving and growing, I also think that aging should bring with it greater self-acceptance. Not only am I never going to look like I did at 16, but at 16 I didn't look like those magazine covers either. And isn't it time to say that this is the physical casing the Almighty wants me to have, and that suggesting there are imperfections casts aspersions on the Designer?

Isn't it time for us to say that wrinkles on our face are okay? Maybe more than okay. That our faces reflect who we are and what we've accomplished. They reflect our lives and I don't need to be ashamed or cover them up.

I can revel in the wisdom and experience of age and thank the Almighty for the tremendous opportunities He has given me. And if He thinks those opportunities should be illustrated in an equal amount of fine lines around the eyes and forehead, who am I to quibble?

Published: November 26, 2005


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Visitor Comments: 6

(6) Hippie, December 6, 2005 12:00 AM

I have just finished reading "My Wrinkles" by Emuna Braverman.
I watch the commercials on TV and wonder if I should purchase any of these "wonder" products.
Then I laugh as I am those cute little wrinkles and in the sight of G-d I am beautiful just as Emuna Braverman is beautiful.



Love Peace Joy and Laughter

Judith5

(5) Devorah Mei, December 2, 2005 12:00 AM

MA AT OMERET?

PREPARATION H?

"Ma at omeret"? "H" stands for hemorrhoids, and it has never been tested for facial using.

It must one day peel off your face, just like that! It also constains shark oil (both, oil and cream), which is not kosher, and who knows what would cause to your face at long term.

Having wrinkels or not, is much more a genetic matter, coupled with other important safeguards, such as a good sun block, no smoking, limited alchool, healthy and FRESH food, 8 hours of daily sleep...and a good dosis of sense of humor!

Guess what.... I'm 60 and I don't have ANY WRINKEL or chicken feet.I'm a beautiful, elegant and very attractive woman, looking as if I was 45! My dear mother died at the age of 77 looking like a 55 years old woman.

THUS...you could better use Olive Oil, or Dates, or Pomegranates, or who knows what Eggplants will do?

I wonder how much better you might look without "H" cream on your face.
It is a long distance between the "H" place, and where you put it!
There is also a big fallacy here, and people will start to confuse "F with H". Shalom from Israel.
All the best!

(4) Anonymous, November 28, 2005 12:00 AM

Yes, but

The search for youth and beauty is somewhat facetious and limiting. Unfortunately, if you're still single at 50, and you want any social life or husband, you had better do your best to look younger, no matter what the cost.

(3) Jackie, November 27, 2005 12:00 AM

Defi expensive creams & use.....

"A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness..."
~ John Keats

****************************************

I just wish I could call out a few "Hollywood" names here, but out of respect, I will refrain. Just recently, I saw a comedienne (whom you know as well) who must be at least 70 years old. So stretched was her face that her lips looked like a split banana and her eyes were at her temples. I recognized her by her voice. However, I believe that we can moisturize our epidermus and I do, with...believe it or not, PREPARATION H cream (not gel). It was recommended to me many years ago and it works. I am 57 yrs old, not a wrinkle and no crows feet. Good bye Estee Lauder; I am $60.00 richer each time I purchase my little tube @ $5.98 and lasts about 5 months! Voila!

(2) Anonymous, November 27, 2005 12:00 AM

Preparation H???

Jackie, you can't imagine how I'm going to ponder about Preparation H. Did Jackie really mean it? Or is she putting us on? It would be nice to not have any more wrinkles, but am I going to feel very foolish putting Preparation H on my face?

Regarding the article, I spend a small fortune coloring my hair to hide the hideous gray. It is money well spent. Sure, at 51 I'm not going to look like I did when I was 21 or 31, but since everybody else has to look at me, I want to be as pretty as I can for them. There is a Torah precedent, too. Hashem made Mother Sarah look young again when she became pregnant with Isaac, and Hashem also rejuvenated Miriam when she recovered from her tzora'at. I'm all for looking as young as possible for as long as possible. One time a sales lady mistook my mother to be my grandmother. Mom was very insulted. Although our appearance isn't the ONLY thing we should care about, there is nothing wrong with caring about it and spending some money to look more attractive.

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