In Herman Wouk's "The Winds of War," the leading character's wife is portrayed as a nasty shrew and I found myself rooting for him to have an affair with his much more pleasant co-worker. When I saw how my emotions could be swayed in favor of an illicit relationship, a relationship that is abhorrent to me both personally and morally, I told myself, No more. This type of story is not good for my soul.
I felt the same way when a friend recently sent me an advertisement for the revival of the Broadway musical, "Fiddler on the Roof" -- starring Topol, no less.
"Fiddler on the Roof" has come to hold a warm and sentimental role in the hearts of Diaspora Jewry. Yet despite the clever lyrics and beautiful melodies, it's really the story of a tragedy.
And I'm not even referring to the whitewashed and glorified presentation of shtetl life in the mythical town of Anatevka. Mythical it is for sure. Poverty has never looked so good. And dancing with the Cossacks? That's an image victims of their raging and murderous pogroms must have shuddered to watch.
There was so much pain in Jewish life then and there (hence the vast immigration to America) that it's hard to look at those stylized images and not cringe.
But that's not the truly tragic part. While some view the movie or play and applaud the dawning of a new era -- daughters choosing their spouses without any regard to their parents' wishes of the ties of tradition, I see the destruction of the Jewish people. I see the lack of education and the inability of the parents to convey why it matters. And I weep.
Watching performances of "Fiddler on the Roof," it's easy to get swept up in the story and to sympathize with the daughters in their quest to follow their own paths. That's why it's destructive. That's why my children have seen "The Sound of Music" about 150 times and "Fiddler on the Roof" not once.
The show evokes an empathy with the girls that is confusing and damaging. I've spent my whole adult life trying to teach the beauty of our heritage, trying to demonstrate why it's so precious, trying to show what's worth holding on to.
What kind of evening's entertainment can it possibly be to attend a performance that shows how easily that it can all be swept away? And presents that choice as a good one?
The eldest daughter marries a boy of her own choosing as opposed to that of her parents. In the movie, her parent's pick is presented as totally inappropriate and the idea of parental involvement in this area mocked as foolish. This invalidates a whole culture where children respect their parents, recognize their wisdom and turn to them for help in choosing a prospective mate.
The middle daughter marries a boy who has renounced his relationship to Judaism and has become an ardent Communist. In the storyline, the father, Tevye, learns to accept this turn of events.
The third and youngest daughter goes to the farthest extreme and marries a non-Jew.
We never stop loving our children. But that doesn't mean we accept and validate all their actions and choices. Especially the ones that fly in the face of everything we hold dear.
To be charmed by a show that implicitly endorses intermarriage is something I think I may be immune to. Even my emotional involvement in the lives of the characters can't quite get me there. But I don't even want to risk the possibility.
Pop culture has a profound effect on our values. Is this "little girl I carried" continuing the Jewish tradition of her ancestors? If not, what is there to sing about?
(52) Larry Weisenthal , July 23, 2009
Continuation of "Half-Jew reacts to Fiddler on the Roof commentary"
(I bumped up against a word limit in my previous comment. I don't think it was "fair" to allow me to fill the comment box with a lot of verbiage, only to be told, after I'd put in all the time writing, that my comment was too long - here's the rest): My second comment is that Fiddler on the Roof is a story which expresses a universality of human experience and emotion, which transcends the ostensible Jewishness of its characters. Tevia's reaction to his daughter marrying outside the faith (or outside the tribe) was no different at all from the pain felt by my own late in-laws, when their daughter married a half-Jew outside of her own (non-Jewish) faith. Because of my personal experience with this situation, I have great empathy for all people of faith and/or tribal identify and/or "tradition," when their sons and daughters marry outside of the fold. As a final comment, I just tonight saw Topol, himself, play Tevia at the Pantages Theater in Los Angeles, and he was absolutely sensational, as was the entire production. The man is truely ageless and his portrayal of Tevia is a true role for the ages. I highly recommend this performance to anyone who still has the possibility of obtaining a ticket.
(51) Anonymous , July 23, 2009
A half-Jew's appreciation of Fiddler on the Roof
I believe that I read that perhaps as many as 50% of American Jews today marry non-Jews. As a half-Jew myself, I am very interested in what might be called "tribal" Judaism. My father doesn't have a single religious bone in is body, yet he's a fiercely tribal Jew, who, in 1973 took vacation time from his job as a Ford automotive engineer to travel to Israel to volunteer to serve Israel during the Yom Kippur war. Ironically, he was offered the opportunity to work for Topol, himself, who's Israeli army job during this conflict was to take care of American Jewish VIPs who were basically "war tourists." My Dad declined this opportunity, preferring to do something which he considered to be more substantive, which was driving a large supply truck all over Israel for the duration of the war. He still proudly displays his official Israeli army service and discharge papers, along with photographs he took at the time. The point is that he has total and utter devotion to Israel and total and utter identification of himself as a Jew, despite his lack of religious belief. On the other hand, I, as a half-Jew, feel about my Jewish half-roots the same way that I feel about my Finnish half-roots. I'm very proud of both, but I feel no more special sense of Jewish kinship than I do of Finnish kinship. Each is a proud part of my heritage, but neither defines who I am, in the way that my father's 100% Jewishness defines who he is. I've tried to understand, but never have been able to understand, how totally different each of us feels, regarding Jewishness. It's almost as if it is all or nothing. I think that I should, perhaps, feel half as strongly as he feels regarding Jewish identity and affinity for Israel. But it's more like 10%, or even less. I guess the difference is that, for me, Jewishness is simply a heritage. For my Dad, it's an identity. (continued in following comment).
(50) Bruce , July 3, 2009
It's about Judaism confronting modernity (2)
The second daughter is interested in politics and marries a man who is too. Many Jews in the 19th Century took many of the ideals of Judaism, broadened them towards all of humanity, and ended up with communist or socialist politics as their central ideology. In many ways, this is tragic, but in some ways, it produced some good. Many of these Jews helped overthrew the czar (only to be replaced by Lenin!), and others settled Israel. Again, Tevye is puzzled by this, but reluctantly agrees. And the third daughter marries a non-Jew, a choice that Tevye does not agree to and refuses to speak to his daughter. And then Tevye --- still holding on to traditional values --- moves with his family to America. The modern ideas of individual autonomy and free choice have influenced even traditional Orthodox Judaism tremendously. In many ways, Aish Hatorah is a direct result of this. Tevye's approach --- we are Jewish because that's our tradition --- does not work in a modern age. Jews need to choose Judaism, and Aish's approach is not to rely on tradition, but instead to argue that there are good reasons for choosing a more traditional form of Judaism. This very approach is exactly what Tevye was unable to do. I think to understand Judaism in our age --- whether Orthodox, non-Orthodox, or not even religious --- requires understanding how Judaism has responded to the challenges of modernity. And Fiddler on the Roof is a great story involving how that clash of ideas effected one family. I think people need to understand the story in its historical context. But it is a great story.
(49) Bruce , July 3, 2009
Its abouit Judaism confronting modernity (1)
I think the story is great, and I think it is broader than Rebbetzin Braverman does. It's about the clash between modernity and tradition, and it includes the good and the bad. That clash and the traditional reaction to it shaped contemporary Judaism and Jewish culture. Tevye is pre-modern. He lives is a world governed solely by tradition. He does things because his parents did them, and that is good enough for him. His daughters are modern. They choose, and they need reasons. The oldest daughter marries for love, not out of obligation. Tevye eventually agrees, and he is puzzled by the issue. He sings to his wife Goldie "Do you love me?" and she is puzzled by the question.
(48) Anonymous , July 2, 2009
the first time i saw the play i thought the same exact thing and i was like fifteen im like this is horrible one marries a gentile one an afikorec and one a tailor (the only happy part) and then the family is ripped apart by the cossacks wow what a happy story... not