When you’re young you don’t believe it. When our parents or grandparents told us that time flies by, we were skeptical. It seemed to crawl along until we could achieve that much-fantasized about freedom that comes with adulthood (we forgot about the responsibility part!).

And even as we assimilated that reality, we still didn’t quite trust them when they said that the older you get, the quicker time seems to move.

And then, all of the sudden, here I am. When I was preparing for Passover this year, it didn’t seem like it was just Sukkot (the holiday that occurs six months prior); it seemed like it was just Passover! Last year’s preparations and experiences were as vivid as if they had happened yesterday. And then, in a blink, the holiday was over and it’s time for the next.

It leaves a person reeling. And wondering what to do with it? Now that I grudgingly acknowledge that my parents and grandparents were correct, where does that take me? To some of the obvious – I’d better use my time well and thoughtfully. To some of the challenging – am I doing what I want to be doing? With the people I want to be doing it with? I’m focused on the issue of using my time productively.

The Mishnah that says, “Don’t say when I have leisure I will learn, for you may never have leisure.” I’m trying to make sure I don’t put off anything I really want to do for a late time. This is easier said than done. And it requires a careful analysis of what I really want to do (which is frequently where I get stuck).

I’m not talking about trips or restaurants or clothing or jewelry, not that some of those things wouldn’t be nice. Although the older I get, the “can’t take it with you” slogan seems to weigh me down (my husband suggests that you wouldn’t know it by looking in my closet!). And of course it depends on the goal – are the trips to spend time with family and bond, to learn about others and thereby grow or just to check it off the list? But I ramble…

I’m talking about classes I want to take, ideas I want to explore, ways I want to grow, people I want to share my time with. Am I giving that my all?

And even more, am I living in reality? Am I still subject to some fantasy about what “adulthood” will bring? Am I still waiting for certain life cycle events to happen before I’ll really start living, before I’ll be free to pursue my own goals, before I can achieve happiness?

Of course I know what’s right; it’s the getting there that’s difficult. But the time is doing more than flying. It’s truly whizzing by. And I don’t want to just be along for the ride. So I need to grab this moment by the horns, I need to make the most of it and I need to decide right here and now where I want to go and how to get there. I need to move forward – with goals, with intention, with a plan. Before I’m cleaning my house for chametz and it’s Passover 2019.