Waiting in Line

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Waiting in Line

I have a slightly more serious dilemma than last week and I welcome your feedback. I spend a lot of time at the grocery store. In fact, at a number of grocery stores. And it’s not because I’m an inefficient shopper (at least that’s not the only reason). We go through a lot of food and our storage space is limited (which really limits those Costco runs) so it seems that every time I turn around, I’m making another shopping list.

I don’t mind grocery shopping – depending on the number of stores, the lines, my mood, the mood of the other customers… I like to see if there are new kosher products, I like to get creative cooking ideas, I like to schmooze with the friends I run into there.

But there is one experience that leaves me puzzled and sometimes a little frustrated. Despite the frequency of my trips to said stores, I always have a huge load. I still find myself stocking up. The cart is usually full to overflowing by the time I get to the checkout.

And it is a common occurrence that someone will be standing behind me with one or two items. So I let them go ahead. It’s just a few minutes. I would be holding them up for a long time. I would want someone to do the same for me. (And I like the praise and gratitude!)

Then another customer appears with a similarly small load. They didn’t see that I just let someone go in front of me. Or maybe they don’t care because they also don’t want to wait. They ask if they can go first. I agree but my enthusiasm begins to wane.

When it gets to the third person, my patience has reached its limit. My time is also valuable, I say to myself (I try not to say “more” valuable). At some point I just have to step up and take my turn.

But then I worry about what people will think.

Anyone who recently joined one of the checkout lines didn’t see me allow two others go in front of me. All they observe is an apparently selfish woman with a full cart. And a religious Jewish one woman to boot. I feel terrible leaving that impression yet I can’t stand all day and let everyone go ahead of me, can I? Help!!

I think I just need to get confident with the middle ground I seem to have struck and learn to leave with the discomfort and the disapproval. And the stares and dirty looks. And all those other shoppers who don’t know me at all but now have a very negative impression.

I like lines. I like order. Lines seem to establish a certain fair distribution of service and waiting time. (Although many would probably argue that there is some type of Murphy’s Law that you would always choose the wrong line, the one where the cashier is yelling “Price check, please”.) It’s a system that works and that seems to treat everyone’s time equally.

It seems to have consideration as its underpinnings. And if you shopped at places where people have no respect for lines you really know what I mean! So if I take my proper turn in line, even if it’s in front of others with “just a few things,” haven’t I behaved properly? Aren’t I entitled to the same respect and consideration? Are those with larger grocery loads to be penalized? (I’m sure the store owners would not want that.)

I don’t want to be cavalier about anyone else’s needs but I don’t want to feel taken advantage of either.

Perhaps a number limit will make it simple to solve. If you have more than two items, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait your turn. Well, make that more than three. Okay, you only have four, go ahead…

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Published: May 22, 2011

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Visitor Comments: 55

(50) Sue, June 29, 2011 12:10 PM

People need to be patient too

You are not being rude to say no to someone going in front of you after letting the first one go , If the line ups are to busy then they need to open a new one , there should be a quick line for the ones with only a couple items , which get long to , however the is quicker to get through, when getting groceries most people go with the realization that they will have to wait in line for a bit anyways , and there is many people who have large orders these days and are willing also to let someone go first , You have been nice and let someone go first , its not all up to you ,and if you let someone go first already and someone else happens along , take no guilt in not letting them go first , complain to the store and tell them your feelings and perhaps they can except some of the responsibility , It doesn"t rest soley on your shoulders to burden , You are nice but not to be mistaken for a sucker. Your kindness in the first place is the kindness that mattered . Hope this helped

(49) Sarah Green, June 3, 2011 7:34 PM

Waiting in line

Hi I can see you live in the States! If it's any consolation I have lived here in Israel for 2 years and the religious Jewish women have no qualms about either saying no when letting others go in front, or pushing someone who was in front of them out of the way to go first! Here in Afula everyone is just as aggressive, and almost everyone has the right to go first (whether actually first in line or not!). Once at the doctor's people pushed a blind man out of the way and jumped the queue (3 religious people included). I was horrified and kicked up a hissy, then the nurse realised and called the man in!

(48) Anonymous, June 3, 2011 1:15 PM

wait in line

What does being religious or even Jewish have anything to do with letting someone go before you in line. Do what you feel is right.

(47) Carolina, May 31, 2011 12:51 AM

Being a religious Jewish woman has nothing to do with being a religious Jewish woman who doesn't know how to say "no". You are probably as busy as the next person, and if you are feeling particularly generous of your time, by all means, let one go first, but two? Three?? Come on, just point the obnoxious young person to the express lane.

(46) Anonymous, May 29, 2011 3:20 PM

Circumstances dictate

As a 'single', I don't usually have much in my cart. I usually shop twice a week to get fresh produce and make it easier to shlep the bags up to my apartment. I take a cart even if I plan to buy a couple of items, and shop in one of the kosher groceries in my area. I've started to notice a sense of entitlement among some of the younger marrieds. Recently, I had 15 items in my cart, too many for the '12 items or less' express line. While I waited for the person ahead of me, a young married girl came up behind me, basket filled to the brim. She said she was in a rush and was sure I wouldn't mind if she went first. If someone comes up with a couple of items, I gladly offer them to go ahead. But who would EXPECT a person with a few items to step aside for one with a filled cart? When I responded that I, too, had someplace else to go, she seemed annoyed that she'd have to wait. There is a tendency to think that whatever other people do isn't as important as what we, ourselves do; 'our' time is more valuable. The girl with no time to wait for my 15 items had time to shop. This total lack of respect for others, including elders, seems to be pervasive lately. No one shops and stands in line as entertainment; we all have someplace else to go, whether it's home to families, work, school, social engagements, etc. When I shop, it's after 10 hours at work and 3 hours of school; I'm middle aged, and I'm tired. If I offer to let someone go ahead of me, it's because I choose to, not because someone has the chutzpah to think they are more important, or their time more valuable than mine.

(45) Anonymous, May 28, 2011 10:39 PM

It's not about the number of items, it's about Free Will.

I hope you will forgive my presumptuousness, but I didn't see this as an issue about who was in line first or how many items they had. In fact, this seems more to me like an issue of free will. You described early on the good feeling you got when you did something nice for someone. When we do something out of a place of love, of giving – when it is our choice – it is a very empowering feeling. We do not need the 'thank you' or the gratitude afterwards (though it's always nice). We simply know that we did good by our fellow human beings. This is the spark of G-d within us and when it gets activated...our soul sings. But when we are “asked” to do a nice thing (i.e. “excuse me, can I get in front of you...”) it changes it. It is the same action, but our choice in the matter is more limited. We are not choosing to be good and generous of our own free will. Not exactly. It is no longer from that place of choice. No longer a place of love and giving. While the good deed remains, I believe it is less empowering, because our choice in the matter was more obscured. It gets even worse when we are required to do the right thing. (“Excuse me miss, but that lady only has 3 items. It's store policy to let her through first”). Wouldn't that make you feel kind of taken advantage of? It is no longer our free will in effect. And so the less free will we have to do good, the more ill we feel about it – even when it's a good thing to do. Of course there is something else going on here too. You not only feel good when you do good things, but you feel bad when you don't. So my next question to you is: why do you assume other people are upset at you for being in line with a full cart? Why do you assume other people are thinking negatively of you? In fact, why do you assume anyone else is thinking about you at all? (cont'd)

(44) Anonymous, May 28, 2011 3:40 PM

no worry

Perhaps you could look the person right in the eye and kindly say; "perhaps, next time. I've already allowed two ahead". Don't let it bother you about 'appearances'. The person who asked was out of line to do so. Each is to wait their turn unless invited. The one who asks was clearly not invited. Just stay cool and don't fret. Like they say; sometimes you eat the bear and other times the bear eats you. That's life.

(43) conrad, May 27, 2011 2:49 AM

tell them you

perhaps you can tell the 3rd person that you already gladly let two persons to go ahead of you even though you were there first. if the 3rd person's persisting or being rude, the cashier can always confirm that indeed you have already let others go ahead. then you can tell the person it's too bad that you have other things to do.

(42) Anonymous, May 26, 2011 5:41 AM

Mayabe you could say to the third person who likes to get ahead of you that you already let two people go before you and that your time is limited as you have other obligations to accomplish.

Barbara, May 26, 2011 3:29 PM

Not "maybe", definitely let that second or third person know that you have already been courteous and hope that they will now do the same for you!

(41) Dodi, May 26, 2011 12:38 AM

Times and time again

I've worked in the grocery industry for over 25 years and here's a few tips about how to negotiate the family feeding expedition. Sunday morning just after the store opens is the best time to shop. The good Christians are all in church..or planning to be there...and those of us who want a quiet experience go while they are not there. Also Monday and Tuesday morning and all day Thursday. These are the days when most of the world is at work or have already stocked up. The afternoons are for mothers who "just want a couple of things", usually 20 minutes before carpool. Not a good situation! Wednesday is when the ad appears, and the early birds love that day. Obviously Friday is the big day to shop, but by then all you should need is your flowers and perhaps a bit of salad...clear sailing for a beautiful Shabbat meal. Keep your stress to a minimum by shopping at your leisure in the early morning! Things are fresher then and you get the best choices, a sure win for the Observant mother. Besides..wouldn't it be nice not to have to be just part of the crowd on a busy shopping day?

(40) Stacey, May 25, 2011 11:38 PM

Don't they have express lanes for the customers that have 15 items or less ? You can always kindly point out those the next time someone requests to cut in front of you .

(39) Rose, May 25, 2011 8:54 PM

Perhaps more storage?

I completely understand where you are coming from. With all of the activities you are involved in which involve food, plus 9 kids, I don't know how you ever have time to get to the store. Maybe it would help to have some more cabinets installed, or put up a storage shed? We have a small house, and I keep all of my "special dishes" that aren't used on a daily basis on shelving in my garage. That frees up space in my kitchen.

(38) Mati, May 25, 2011 7:37 PM

too much

Perhaps the things you must have to buy are not really things you must have to buy?

(37) Anonymous, May 25, 2011 6:36 PM

avoid the crowds

I make it a point to shop at times when the stores are not crowded, like early morning. This makes the whole shopping experience a lot more pleasant.

(36) Steve, May 25, 2011 4:57 PM

Selfish?

What about the other people who are behind you? When you give your permission to go ahead of you, you are letting them in ahead of others also.

(35) Anonymous, May 25, 2011 4:40 PM

Express Lane

You should perhaps approach the store about having an Express Lane. Most stores I shop grocery at have a line for people with less than 12 or less than 20 items. This line is FOR the people who want to skip in front of you. Your large purchase, if valued by management, should not be left complicated by the situation you describe. Give the management a chance to solve the problem. Explain to them why it is particularly difficult for you and that it's made you think about not shopping there. Let them help you to help their bottom line, by keeping your business, even if the Express Lane is only available during certain hours, it should be an easy solution for all.

(34) Murray Sanders, May 25, 2011 3:15 PM

Shop at a place with a line for people with a few items.

(33) Janet, May 25, 2011 2:48 PM

I, too will let people with a few items get ahead of me, but while they are checking out, I'm putting my items on the conveyer belt. That way, by the time I'm done, they have checked out and left. After that, the folks are on their own, and free to check out on a less occupied lane. Don't give it a second thought.

Teri, May 25, 2011 7:14 PM

I'm with Janet

I agree with Janet. I'll let the person directly behind me go first if they've only got a couple of items, but I also am unloading my items onto the conveyer belt while they're checking out (or before they start). And Steve - I'm sure Ms Braverman is only talking about letting the person directly behind her go ahead. Whether she goes first and they go second or vice versa, it has no affect on anyone else in line behind them.

(32) ruth housman, May 25, 2011 11:50 AM

up and down the lines

Hi, strangely, right after I read this piece of yours about angels in the supermarket, those who make way for others, I opened Chabad and read another piece, Right After, about angels in the supermarket, about a woman who was down and out, and someone in line, suddenly pitched in, and gave her the grocery monies, and then disappeared, quite anonymously, renewing this woman's faith in G_d. Some markets do have lines for those who are not purchasing much but it seems yours, do not. I think you have done, in giving way to one person, a lot, And in giving way, to two, more than. I do believe we all need to present boundaries to ourselves and to others, and that giving, even giving, has its limits. As a therapist I know we can give till we are on "empty" and that's not a good thing. We need to replenish the "vessel" and gift ourselves, too. I think your angst on this matter is what G_d is looking for, namely, an exquisite sensitivity to the "other".

(31) yehudit, May 25, 2011 9:07 AM

so true!

I sooo related to this article! especially since I live in Israel. Here we have an additional phenomenon: people actually LEAVE THEIR TROLLEYS in the line and ask you to mind their place!!!!! I just tell them that I only save spaces for people, not trolleys, sorry. As for your dilemma, I get the same thing here all the time: when I'm arranging my things on the conveyor I allow others to pass, but as soon as I'm organised, I politely tell the next person who asks that I'd love to let them pass, but I shrug and point to my things which are ready to go... You are so right to be sensitive particularly because of your appearance: you are doing a kiddush Hashem: and even more so once it get's hard to let others through. If only everyone were as sensitive and thoughtful!

(30) Anonymous, May 25, 2011 8:58 AM

waiting on/in line

in israel this is a daily dilemma we do have express lines so thats where the two item people should go if its a worker and its his lunch he's buying i let him go in front of me while i put my things on the counter i DO NOT think that those who put the basket near the counter and run back and forth to fill it count and mothers who r visiting and queue up for their dtrs w/o groceries dont count either i dont give my card to the cashier until i am all packed and ready to go i have had to freeze other peoples meat at times and/or am missing something of mine if i pay beforehand and the cashier starts processing their order its really chaval al hazman, but i am a bit mefuneket and will always be an olah even tho i am a savta rabba B"H dont do the guilt trip emuna!

(29) Kibbitzer, May 25, 2011 7:23 AM

Shopping dilemma

No, you should not let ANYBODY before you as your time is just as valuable as theirs and if they're in such a hurry they should have started earlier. There are "under 10 items" checkouts too. Here is Israel a favourite dodge is to put one product on the checkout to hold it and then continue shopping. What chutzpah!

(28) Nancy Zwiebach, May 25, 2011 5:33 AM

how to say "no"

I think after letting one or two people ahead, if another person asks, it's permissible (and maybe even wise) to say "I understand your situation, but I've already let two people in ahead of me and I need to get home too. I'm sorry, perhaps next time it will work out better". It is wonderful to be kind and generous. However, it's a poor decision when one walks away feeling diminished or taken advantage of.

(27) Gustav Kollarz, May 25, 2011 5:30 AM

till for up to five items

Here in Israel, it is quite commonplace that there exists one ore more tills for those with up to five items. recommend to the store, that at peak shopping times, that such a till be opened, to curcumvent the problem you mention.

(26) Anonymous, May 25, 2011 3:17 AM

Shopping lines

Look straight ahead. Ignore what's behind you ... unless its me with three items.

(25) mort brigadier, May 25, 2011 3:14 AM

10 items or less.

Just kook straight ahead. IGNORE what's behind you ... unless its me with three items.

(24) Anonymous, May 25, 2011 2:27 AM

Store should have an express line.

Speak to the store manager about establishing an express line for those with a limited number of items. If someone gets behind you with just two items, tell her that you would love to defer to her, but she should really use the express line unless she does not mind waiting.

(23) Joe Winkleman, May 25, 2011 1:10 AM

Tell them to go to the "express line"

If the store does not have a 12 items or less cash register tell them to complain to the store manager. Its not your fault.

(22) Aliza, May 25, 2011 1:05 AM

Ha! And the frustration continues... Then you finally make it to check out and the cashier politely says, "would you like to donate a dollar to so and so charity?" Do I tell her I just donated yesterday or that I gave a different store a dollar just an hour before? In these cases I usually respond "no thank you", but often think the cashier and people behind me are thinking "cheap Jew". Such an annoying situation. If I go into a store to buy a bunch of bananas I really don't feel like paying an extra dollar. You just can't win!

(21) elise, May 24, 2011 10:53 PM

look busy

Just don't look behind you. That way, you won't know haw many items they have. Talk on your cell, look busy reading ingredient on a box of cereal, etc. until it's your turn at the cash.

(20) Anonymous, May 24, 2011 8:48 PM

Tact

How about delivering, with a smile, "I'd be glad to, but I've already let several people go in front of me, and now I've got to be somewhere in a few minutes. Sorry."

(19) Rebecca, May 24, 2011 8:02 PM

longer line

Can you not just get in line behind a person with a big cart yourself? Then anyone that comes up will see two big carts and move on to a faster-moving line.

(18) Sarah, May 24, 2011 7:22 PM

Why Do You Worry So Much?

Someone who would automatically judge you negatively isnt someone whose opinion matters anyway, is it. It seems you sort of feel the need to explain or justify yourself to others. You really dont have any obligation to do that at all. If you've been compassionate by letting a couple of other people go ahead of you and now you're ready to go, then GO! Stop worrying what other people think and you'll find it's a much more pleasant experience.

(17) Anonymous, May 24, 2011 6:32 PM

Time for a 'small quantity' checkout

Perhaps you could suggest to the shops you frequent that a '10 items or fewer' checkout would help everyone.

Rachel, May 24, 2011 9:22 PM

Hear, hear

Every store I shop at has express lanes, with the exception of the warehouse club -- and I've yet to see anyone with only one or two items in line at Costco.

(16) Aaron, May 24, 2011 5:34 PM

Politely suggest they use the express lane.

I understand you are reluctant to be firm because you are worried, that due to you being easily identified as an observant Jew, it will reflect poorly on all Jews and may result in a chillul Hashem. I would look at it differently, letting someone go in front of you may result in the same thing. Jews will be seen as pushovers and weak. That may also result in a chilul Hashem. Ask them if the express lane is closed. When they tell you it isn't, apologize but you are already oppressed for time as it is and you can't let them go ahead of you. Say it with confidence and assurance and if you receive a negative reaction then it is that person's problem, not yours. Should a member of Hashem's chosen people appear weak and servile or strong and free? "l'maan tizkor et yom tzeitecha mei'eretz mitzrayim kol y'mei chayecha".

(15) Leah, May 24, 2011 4:36 PM

12 items or less

I understand your dilemma. I only shop for myself and am often the person with one or two items. I head for the line of least resistance and make a point of avoiding the lines with the overflowing carts in front of me because I know it will be a wait. So too should other shoppers. There's no reason for shopper with just a few items to get in line behind the fullest cart when express lines are available. It's my observation that they often do this because they're confident they'll be given a free pass to the front (sneaky, huh?). It's also my observation that 3 items or 20, there's not a lot of difference in the time it takes to get through. It's just perspective. When I get behind the full cart I try to make sure I don't impose myself in a manner as to suggest I be let in front. I smile politely, take my place and wait my turn. Don't give up your spot. Instead smile and politely say "I'm afraid my full cart might be holding you up but there's an express line down there where you won't have to wait as long."

(14) EstherAsna, May 24, 2011 4:12 PM

we need Emuna when it comes to checkout lines

Whichever line I choose, I find if I switch lines it's still "destined" to take me however long to check out of the store so throughout the process we need to believe that H-shem decided how long it's going to take. Same with driving/traffic. :)

(13) Anonymous, May 24, 2011 4:07 PM

fast checkouts

In most stores there is a 15 or less check out so you don't have to a doormat just do as any other shopper would do and just go when your turn comes

Chana Miriam Zelasko, May 25, 2011 6:30 AM

Express line

I see there are similar comments to this, but anyway, tell the customer behind you with few items to go to the express line. If they persist, tell them that you have already let several people ahead of you and you just can't wait any longer. I'm sure they will understand. If they say that there is no express line (which has happened to me), tell them to ask the manager to open one. More than that, I don't think is your responsibility.

Jeremy, May 26, 2011 10:37 PM

Response to express line

I agree with this sentiment, except for one thing. I wouldn't let the first person go in front of me, and not for lack of caring, but for the precedent it sets. If you let one person go, then another person comes up behind you, maybe that person is coming to your lane because you let the first person go. Nevertheless, giving this person the benefit of the doubt, if it is discovered that you let one or two people go before you and then not a third, this third person is left wondering why they have been singled out for rejection, or more commonly, why the other two are better/more deserving than them. Because of this, if you do let someone go in front of you, you shouldn't use that as an excuse as to why you won't let the next person go, or at least keep it quiet so as not to be offensive. Besides, no one decided for them that they had to chose the line behind the person with an overflowing shopping cart. It would be wrong of them to take offense because you don't them go in the first place. If they take offense to something like this, then they entered the line with the expectation that you owe them the place in front of you which is wrong and should not be condoned.

(12) Chana Veffer, May 24, 2011 3:10 PM

an explanation goes a long way

When stuck in the same position you describe, I politely take the time to explain that I've already let a few people in and apologize that I can't do the same for the next person. Speaking nicely and looking someone in the eye, while kindly saying no, is also a Kiddush Hashem.

(11) Sheila Deutsch, May 24, 2011 2:19 PM

OK under certain rules.

If someone is next on line and you want to let them go ahead of you, fine. If more than one person asks, politely explain that you have already let someone go ahead and if you continue you will never get done. However, if someone comes to you when you are near the front of the line and asks to go before you, you need to tell them that they need permission from those people who are after you as they are also going ahead of them. I find that usually when they realize this they usually forget about their request. SD

(10) Florence, May 24, 2011 2:17 PM

Stores have "express lines."

It usually is the responsibility of the merchant to provide "express lines" for patrons with 10 or less items. Afterall, they should want more patrons like you to shop in peace since you are doing the most for their successful business. I would share my concerns with the store manager.

(9) caroline cohen, May 24, 2011 2:16 PM

A sense of humour, please!

It often happens to me, too. But instead of worrying "how far I can let them go?" (as a religious Jewish woman, Magen David around my neck) I say, loud enough for many to hear: "Before midnight, we'll all be home!" or something similar. It helps (me and the others).

(8) Leah, May 24, 2011 2:09 PM

Been there, done that. I agree with the let a couple go in front of you and perhaps say that you have let two already and smile etc...

(7) Michael E, May 24, 2011 1:38 PM

Don't worry

Don't overanalyze... I do the same thing, in a hundred situations, but usually people aren't even thinking about you. No one expects special treatment. That said, grocery stores with a single line, in which the person goes to whatever register is open, eliminates your concern entirely (if you haven't seen this in grocery stores, I mean the system used at airport check-ins, banks, etc.)

(6) Anonymous, May 23, 2011 3:20 PM

When I have been the customer with the few items, I don't ask the person in front of me who has a cart load if I can step ahead of them. I have had customers say I could go ahead of them since I only have a few items, I say "thanks for the offer, I don't mind waiting". Yes, it's nice with someone does offer to let you go ahead, but it doesn't mean us with the few items have to say yes. I leave thinking how nice and considerate that person was though, but the ones saying yes, are they being considerate of the nice offer. Yes, there is times you may be in a real hurry, you have to pick the kids up at school etc, and you really don't have time to wait, however, if we have the time to wait, those extra minutes is good "thinking time" before going home, good time to daven for that nice person.

(5) Robert Schaefer, May 23, 2011 10:08 AM

That's why they have express lanes!

It's OK to be nice, but you need to be pratical as well.

(4) Lisa, May 23, 2011 9:04 AM

Use common sense

When it comes to people there is no right answer.....& it might depend on where you live....South VS North. I do try to let one person in front......then, I'm sorry to say, it's my turn.

(3) shira, May 22, 2011 9:05 PM

I think the simplest thing to do is to let one or two people go ahead. When the next person asks, all you have to do is say Im sorry but I already let several people go already, thanks.

(2) Sharon, May 22, 2011 3:28 PM

express line

In the supermarket I frequent, there is an express line. When I see someone with few items waiting behind me I let them know before they even ask that there is an express line with two cashiers. It's a build in solution. The other day someone with a single item did ask to get in from of me and I agreed, but I think it is wrong. There are other shoppers behind me and they may not agree to have to wait for another customer. The number of items is also not the only factor in the time spent. The type of payment for instance factors in. If you do not get angry then you will not be desecrating G-d's name. Your could say with a smile, "Sorry, I've already let someone ahead of me and now I must get home."

(1) SusanE, May 22, 2011 1:21 PM

Yep Emuna Been there and Done That.

I've let others go ahead in line when I have a large order and they have just one or two items and no cart. That is common courtesy. ~~~~~~~~ However, most stores have an under 10 items or an express checkout line for those people. The person behind me could have used those registers. Nearly always the express has a long line, so they choose to come to the register I'm at and stand in line. But generally, I wave them on past if the clerk hasn't begun ringing me up. The other thing you could do is not look behind you.

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About the Author

Emuna Braverman

Please check out Emuna’s new book A Diamond for Your Daughter – A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Shidduchim Effectively, available through Judaica Press

Emuna Braverman has a law degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters in in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Pepperdine University. She lives with her husband and nine children in Los Angeles where they both work for Aish HaTorah. When she isn''t writing for the Internet or taking care of her family, Emuna teaches classes on Judaism, organizes gourmet kosher cooking groups and hosts many Shabbos guests. She is the cofounder of www.gourmetkoshercooking.com.