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The 90/10 Rule: Raising Kids without Raising Your Voice
How to have a great relationship with a teenager.
Published: February 23, 2008
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Visitor Comments: 2
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About the Author
Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.Psych.Assoc.
Sarah Chana Radcliffe practices psychology in Toronto, Canada. She is the author of Make Yourself at Home (Menucha Press 2012), The Fear Fix HarperCollins 2013) and Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice (HarperCollins 2006).
_(english).jpg "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice")
_(english).jpg "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice: Emotional Coaching")
_(english).jpg "Short and Sharp: Raising Kids without Raising Your Voice")
(2) Kimber Brown, August 6, 2008 11:05 AM
Teenage years can be great
Be a good example. Use the 90/10 rule with everyone including your spouse, work relationships and young children. You can't expect your teen to forget all the negativity that you expressed in the time prior to discovering the 90/10 rule. Have some fun and show your kids that you are human and like to have fun and laugh a lot. If I only had three words that I could tell you it would be "laugh a lot". Not only does it releases endorphines that regulate your blood sugar and blood pressure, you just plain feel better and then you will be nicer to everyone including your teenager.
(1) Anonymous, February 24, 2008 9:52 AM
Teenagers opinion
I am currently a teenager from a Modern Orthodox home. I just wanted to write to the parents watching this that I really agree with that advice and I think that my relationship with my father would also be much better if he followed the 90/10 rule and substituted some of our conversations with the advice she gave.
For teenagers, I think sometimes you have to realize what your parents do that you don't appreciate and look past what they are remiss from saying. Even though that's not always so easy in the moment.