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The 90/10 Rule: Raising Kids without Raising Your Voice

How to have a great relationship with a teenager.

Published: February 23, 2008
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Visitor Comments: 2

(2) Kimber Brown, August 6, 2008 11:05 AM

Teenage years can be great

Be a good example. Use the 90/10 rule with everyone including your spouse, work relationships and young children. You can't expect your teen to forget all the negativity that you expressed in the time prior to discovering the 90/10 rule. Have some fun and show your kids that you are human and like to have fun and laugh a lot. If I only had three words that I could tell you it would be "laugh a lot". Not only does it releases endorphines that regulate your blood sugar and blood pressure, you just plain feel better and then you will be nicer to everyone including your teenager.

(1) Anonymous, February 24, 2008 9:52 AM

Teenagers opinion

I am currently a teenager from a Modern Orthodox home. I just wanted to write to the parents watching this that I really agree with that advice and I think that my relationship with my father would also be much better if he followed the 90/10 rule and substituted some of our conversations with the advice she gave.
For teenagers, I think sometimes you have to realize what your parents do that you don't appreciate and look past what they are remiss from saying. Even though that's not always so easy in the moment.

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About the Author

Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.Psych.Assoc.

More by this Author >

Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M.Ed., C.Psych.Assoc., has a private practice in parenting, marital and personal counselling. She is a member of the College of Psychologists of Ontario. Mrs. Radcliffe is the author of five books on Jewish family life and emotional well-being. She conducts workshops and lectures on these topics across North America. Her new book, Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice, is now available on amazon.com and amazon.co.uk. Visit her website at www.parenting-advice.net

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