Personal Growth
Passover’s Message to Iran, Hamas and You
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4 min read
Nurturing optimism in yourself and your family.
1. Change Negative Self-Talk
Positive thinking often starts with changing negative self-talk, that endless stream of unspoken thoughts that run through your head. Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason. Other self-talk may arise from misconceptions that you create because of lack of information.
Before parents can teach this to their children they need to think positively themselves. Become aware of your self-talk and work on changing your negative mindset to a positive one.
Some examples:
Negative Mindset | Positive Mindset |
I've never done it before. | It's an opportunity to learn something new. |
It's too complicated. | I'll tackle it from a different angle. |
I don't have the resources. | Necessity is the mother of invention. |
I'm too lazy to get this done. | I wasn't able to fit it into my schedule but can re-examine my priorities. |
There's no way it will work. | I can try to make it work. |
It's too radical a change. | Let's take a chance. |
No one bothers to communicate with me. | I'll see if I can open the channels of communication. |
I'm not going to get any better at this. | I'll give it another try. |
2. No More Labels:
We often fall into the trap of labeling children and placing them in roles. It gives us a false sense of control thinking we have them figured out. “She is the stubborn one,” “He is so bossy,” “That one is so slow,” “Forget about him, he will always be disorganized.” The fact is everyone has positive and negative traits.
If we only focus on the negative, even in a joking way, we reinforce the negative behavior and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. A child acting stubbornly, who is told, “You are so stubborn!” will persist in that behavior.
We can reinforce positive behavior in a “stubborn child” or any child labeled negatively by:
Negative Labels |
Positive Labels |
manipulative |
expresses needs |
messy |
creative |
pig-headed |
determined |
disrespectful |
angry and hurt |
defiant |
courageous |
3. Unconditional Love:
Parents need to let their children know that they are loved without reservation – regardless of their school performance and behavior. Adults can discipline a child and work to improve their misbehavior while still sending the message of unconditional love:
4. Point Out Child's Positive Behaviors or Strengths:
Train yourself to focus on our child’s positive attributes instead of their negative ones. We can say things like:
5. Share the Positive in your Day:
Talk about the great things that you did together:
6. Talk about the Things You Enjoy:
7. Express your Positive Feelings
8. Ask Children to Find the Positives
Some people are born with an optimistic and positive nature, while others are not. You can help cultivate an upbeat attitude in your child that will build authentic happiness, prevent depression and foster resilience.