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Landlord: A Yom Kippur Video

Are you letting resentments live in your head, rent-free?

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Published: September 18, 2012

This project was created with funds granted by The Covenant Foundation,
with Fiscal Sponsorship by The Foundation for Jewish Culture.

The opinions expressed in the comment section are the personal views of the commenters. Comments are moderated, so please keep it civil.

Visitor Comments: 97

(87) Anonymous, September 6, 2015 2:29 PM

How do you forgive someone who has not asked for forgiveness

I know that holding on to anger only causes me pain and am more than able to forgive someone who hurt me when asked, but I can 't seem to let go of the hurt feeling caused by someone who has never apologized.

(86) sm, September 3, 2015 7:46 AM

This is a great message. It's sometimes very hard to forgive. There were times when i thought to myself that i forgive someone, but still had some anger. But like the man said, it's like letting the person stay in your head rent free. If we want inner peace, we need to let go. We are Not saying what the person did is okay. We are just not letting it eat at us anymore. This way, we can live a happier life

(85) Anonymous, June 20, 2015 5:01 AM

Food for thought. . .

This is excellent!
Please create more video clips - they're outstanding!
Thank you :-)

(84) Anonymous, December 7, 2014 12:24 PM



(83) Alan, October 8, 2013 11:41 AM

Nice in theory but....

Firstly I want to say that I agree with the principle that harbouring resentment is bad for you (not the person that hurt you) and getting rid of resentment is healthy for you.

But the video suggests that telling someone I forgive you (which is the father's advice to chanan) will remove the feelings of resentment you have towards the other person. I totally disagree with this. If only removing resentment from our lives would be so easy! Removing resentment requires having insight into the dynamics of the relationship - so one way might be for the father to discuss with chanan his relationship with David before they stopped speaking. But certainly not telling chanan: "forgive him"!

Furthermore, such emphatic advice from a parent (or rabbi or anyone for that matter) can even potentially be destructive, here's how: If the son still has feelings of resentment towards david after telling him he is forgiven, there are only two possibilities for how the son will feel: he will either feel bad about himself (because his father’s 'pearls of wisdom' just didn’t work) or he will resent his father. Both pretty undesirable outcomes..

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