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Let's face it -- we have all experienced some pretty boring Seders in our days, or some that have turned into just another family dinner party devoid of meaning. In order to bring more meaning and enjoyment back to the family Seder, try the following:
- Go to the dollar store and buy some "visual aids" for the plagues. When you get to that part of the Haggadah, throw out a pile of frogs...plastic cows and animals...snakes and spiders...ping pong balls (hail)...dark sunglasses (darkness)...Be creative and fun. The kids (and adults) will love it.
- Buy some dollar store "prizes" for kids. When they ask a good question (which is what you're trying to stimulate), they get a prize. Also give prizes for asking the Four Questions, good singers, etc... The kids will keep busy playing with their prize (doll, soldier, etc.) until they think of another good question and jump back in.
- Explain to everyone that they are like royalty on Seder night. And since kings and queens do not pour for themselves, everyone gets a "pouring partner" who fills up their glass with wine or grape juice (or a combo) at the appropriate time. People pair up and have fun with this.
- Read the Haggadah in the language that you best understand. That means English is fine. Share the reading by going around the table and taking turns.
- It's okay to stop during the reading for a good discussion on the topic at hand. You may want to prepare some questions in advance to throw out at people such as:
- "If the Haggadah tells us that we are still slaves and not free, our definition of freedom must be very different. We are Jews in North America, aren't we free? What is the Jewish definition of freedom?"
- "Next year in Jerusalem? How many of us really want to live in Israel? What does the Land of Israel mean to you?"
- "The wise son doesn't sound so wise. He doesn't seem to know anything. What is the Jewish definition of wisdom?"There is no such thing as a dumb question. Encourage an atmosphere where people feel comfortable asking questions about what's being said in the Haggadah. Once a question is asked, invite everyone to think about a possible answer, and/or to look in their Haggadah to find one.
- Tell everyone to eat a light meal before coming to the Seder. That way they won't be starving and want to hurry through the Haggadah. This is not a dinner party -- the reading and discussion of the Haggadah is the whole point of the evening! Let people know in advance that they will be reading through the Haggadah and discussing issues long before they begin eating. Don't let the meal become the focus.
- Assign topics to present to various guests. For example, give someone the section on "The Four Sons" and get them to learn and discuss the meaning behind each son to present to everyone at the table.
- Use the same Haggadahs so that everyone can follow. We highly recommend the ArtScroll edition. They also make a kid's version. (www.artscroll.com)
- If you are trying to change the focus of the family Seder toward something more meaningful, try hosting it at your home this year ("home team advantage"), and always invite guests who are not family. When "guests" are there, even the most cynical family member is on their best behavior. Try it. It works.
- In addition to Aish.com's Passover site, use "The Passover Survival Kit" by Shimon Apisdorf. It's available at your local Jewish bookstore and is filled with great tips and insights into making the Seder fun and meaningful. It's also a terrific source of questions to stimulate conversation, ideas on each section of the Haggadah, and more.
_(english).jpg "The ABC's of Passover")
_(english).jpg "Aish.com's Passover Primer")
(8) Tamara , April 3, 2008
prises
We used prizes for a number of years, but they eventually became a distraction. I like the prize ticket idea (comment #2), We have reverted to the traditional nuts & nosh prizes - the kids tend to be hungry so this can help.
I also find that using finger puppets can help for the more "boring" segments. There is a lot of acting going on at our table - quite entertaining and helps to keep everyones' attention.
(7) Iris , April 26, 2007
My sedars are more meaningful than my grandparents
As a child, when my grandfathers were alive, the seders were a punishment. Both grandfathers read, mostly to themselves, from Haggadahs that I think were in Yiddish. Every word was read or mumbled. BORING. The only time we kids were allowed to participate was to sing the 4 Questions and the songs at the end. Also, I hated the food. My grandmothers were NOT good cooks and I can't stand gefilte fish, borscht, sharve, salz-wasser-egg-soup. There were always remnets of walnut shells in the charoses. (Growing up, "home cooked meals" did not evoke warm and fuzzy feelings. Quite the opposite.)
My seders are said in English, and everyone takes a turn reading. We sing the songs in Hebrew. We use a Children's Haggadah and we always invite others, often Gentiles. They love being invited and always ask questions. We get a kick out of hearing them try to pronounce Hebrew terms, which adds to the levity.
Each year I vary my charoses recipe. I use at least a dozen apples and 3 pounds of nuts because people always ask to take some home. (I make up containers for my guests before hand.) When I go to work and eat charoses sandwhiches, I am always asked, "what is that?" with a not too pleasant look. I tell them it is a fruit and nut pate. It always gets them to ask for a taste. It never fails to please.
But, I do miss the stories told by my grandparents and older relatives who have since passed. New comers in my life can never quite fill that void.
(6) Anonymous , April 5, 2007
prize tickets
for kids who are beyond dollar store prizes but need an incentive...prize tickets, each worth a certain amount of money, to be redeemed during chol hamoed or after pesach. works for us. Also, we stick to pretty basic story telling with interesting midrashim. most kids aren't interested in deep philosophy or fine points of halacha.
(5) satyaprakash , March 28, 2007
in the age 58 i need some good things by all ways
after using this site will give my experience till then thanks
(4) Laya , April 10, 2006
more ideas
We've bought mylar "curtains" and pinned them up to simulate walking through the parted sea out of Egypt before entering the seder. You can get frogs and other props for pretty cheaply through Oriental Trading Co. I like fabric pom poms for hail since they're very soft for enthusiastic throwers. Wild animal toys are fun for kids to play with too. One other thing I do at seder when I think we're losing someone is to jump up and act like a reporter (spoons make great microphones). "...we interupt this programing for a special interview..." asking spontaneous questions of people like "Pharoh, what was it like for you when you saw the Jews crossing the Red Sea in front of you?" Answers are always very fun. If you keep your eyes peeled during the year, you can find egyptian costumes which some people love to wear. Crowns are great for kids to wear so they feel like royalty. inviting guests who have never been to a seder is also a way to get lots of questions going at the table. Happy Passover!