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Mount Sinai
What is this notion of "humility" and what does it have to do with Torah?
First, let's clarify what humility is not. Humility does not mean a meek reluctance to speak up or be assertive. Humility is not slouching your shoulders and having low self-esteem. The Torah (Numbers 12:3) refers to Moses as "the most humble person who ever lived" -- and yet he aggressively confronts Pharoah, fights a war against Amalek, and stands up to castigate the Jewish People.
In the secular world, the biggest personalities are usually the most arrogant. Imagine a movie star walking into a party: strutting, cocky, head raised. His mannerisms shout: "I am great and I don't need you or anybody else." The room is silent with awe. Charisma!
Judaism says this is actually counterfeit charisma. That's because an arrogant person is not concerned about right and wrong — only about himself and how well things will turn out for him. He can appear to be smooth on the surface, but really he's just manipulating everything around him to suit his self-centered needs.
"Humility" = What's greater than me is what counts.
The higher a person becomes spiritually, the more humble he becomes. As we get closer to G-d, we become more realistic about our own limitations, vulnerability and mortality. We internalize the reality that every human's position is tenable and only G-d is eternal. Moses was called "the most humble" because when he stood before G-d he knew his place. Anything else precludes room for G-d to fit in. That's why the Talmud likens arrogance to idol worship; both push away the presence of G-d.
In actuality, it is humility which guarantees charisma! The humble person has the ability to rise above his self-contained narcissistic envelope and embrace those around him. Since he confidently knows his place, he can leave space for others without having an ego crisis. He honors others and helps them find their place, too.
Isn't that true charisma?!
Humility is the ability to be objective about one's own position vis-a-vis everyone else. If I am in the position to lead, then I should lead. And if not, I should defer. I must know where I stand, and not take undo liberties. If I am in the presence of someone more knowledgeable, I should think twice before speaking. There is nothing more annoying than an accountant standing in a roomful of doctors and pontificating on medical science.
Rabbi Simcha Bunim of Pshischa (19th century Europe) explained it as follows: Every person should always carry two slips of paper — one in the right pocket and one in the left. On one slip of paper should be written the Talmudic statement, "The entire world was created just for me" (Sanhedrin 38a). On the other paper should be written the words of Abraham, "I am but dust and ashes" (Genesis 18:27). In this way, we will be reminded that there are times to step forward, and times to step back.
Rabbi Feinstein's sister was once asked, "What makes your brother so special?" She answered: "What makes my brother special is that he never looks at himself as being so special."
The story goes that one day in the yeshiva, a visitor picked up the pay phone, and the voice on the other end asked to speak with Moshe Feinstein. The visitor then walked into the study hall and began shouting: "Moishy! Phone call for Moishy!" Incredibly, he was using an informal nickname for the great Rosh Yeshiva! Rabbi Feinstein calmly raised his hand and graciously accepted the phone.
Rabbi Rafael of Barshad (19th century Europe), summed it up as follows: "When I get to Heaven, they'll ask me, why didn't you learn more Torah? And I'll tell them that I'm slow-witted. Then they'll ask me, why didn't you do more kindness for others? And I'll tell them that I'm physically weak. Then they'll ask me, why didn't you give more Tzedakah? And I'll tell them that I didn't have enough money. But then they'll ask me: If you were so stupid, weak and poor, why were you so arrogant? And for that I won't have an answer."
The Book of Numbers begins with a census of the Jewish People. Far from reducing everyone to a number, this census teaches us that every Jew is important. The Kabbalists point out that just as 600,000 Jewish souls stood at Mt. Sinai, so too there are 600,000 letters in the Torah (including the white spaces between letters). Because just as a Torah Scroll is invalid if even a single letter is missing, so too the Jewish People are handicapped if even one Jew has fallen away from our people. Each and every Jew is completely integral - regardless of occupation or skill.
So how do we achieve humility? The first thing a Jew does upon awakening in the morning is to say the "Modeh Ani" prayer: "I acknowledge You, G-d, for graciously returning my soul for yet another day. Thank you!" Step One of humility is to put our relationship with G-d into perspective. We feel the "we," rather than the self-indulgent, negative energy. We emerge more relaxed, calm and flexible. And this in turn trickles down to all our interpersonal relationships: business partnership, marriage, community and nation-building.
More tools for gaining humility:
A crucial step to humility is found in the opening verse of the Book of Numbers. "And G-d spoke to Moses in the Sinai Desert." The Sages ask a fundamental question: Why was the Torah given in a desert? Because a desert is empty. What this means is that to acquire Torah -- to receive G-d's wisdom -- we must first be willing to open up space inside.
The Maharal (16th century Prague) explains that the only way to teach anything is to first get the student to ask a question. Because a question creates a lack and a need – a space that the answer can then come and fill. But without first a question, there is no room for the answer.
As we prepare for the Shavuot holiday and reliving the Sinai experience, the message for us is to know our place, make some space, and let the truth of G-d and His Torah enter deep inside.
Comments or Questions? This page modified May, 1998.
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Judaism defines humility as "living with the reality that nothing matters except doing the right thing." That means the humble person is not dependent on the opinion of others. Because sometimes doing the right thing is popular (and consistent with one's ego needs), and sometimes it's not. But the humble person can set his ego aside, if need be, in order to consistently do the right thing.
In the introduction to "Iggress Moshe," the monumental compendium of responsa, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein writes: "I would not have volunteered for the job of leading the Jewish People. But since this is the role that G-d has selected for me, I do so willingly."