WouldJew Believe #21
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WouldJew Believe #21

WouldJew Believe #21

A Giant discovery in Goliath’s home town. Sorry we couldn’t resist…

by

GOLIATH’S HOMETOWN UNCOVERED: A GIANT DISCOVERY

Archaeologists have made a giant discovery in Tel Tzafit, once the city of Gat (also called Gath), Goliath’s home town! And the excitement is building as their findings continue to bring the Bible to life. Artifacts from metal craft and bronze, along with demolished buildings confirm King Chazel of Aram’s destruction of the once great city, which was inhabited at different times by the Philistines, and the nation of Israel. Though enemies, there was “crossover” between the two cultures. In fact, the Bible tells us that Samson married a Philistine woman. Most interesting? Writings from the period show that the name “Goliath” (with variations) was a hit in Gat! Yes, if you passed through the city back then looking for the mighty man, you’d get “Which Goliath?” in Gat. (Got that?)

The Talk King is set to become the Bagel King!

BAGEL “KING” LARRY

In case you’re worried about Larry King’s future when he gives up the microphone ... don’t be.

The Talk King is set to become the Bagel King! He’s now a partner in the Original Brooklyn Water Bagel Co. In case, like me, you’ve never heard of OBWB, the Florida company claims to have created a water treatment technology that replicates — are you ready? – Brooklyn water! As we all know, for a bagel to rise to the top, Brooklyn H2O is bottom-line. The company is determined to grab shelf space next to Lenders in every freezer in the U.S. So yes. Whether you live in Prospect Park or Podunk, you’ll get “the real thing.”

And while we’re on the subject ... the “King” just may be too late for New Yorkers who are “outscooping” their bagels. WouldJew Believe, more and more carb-counters are demanding the doughy mmmmm inside be scooped out! Oy vey! How the poor bagel is suffering at the hands of skinny New Yorkers who are removing its very kishkes and leaving only the crusty carcass. The meshugge practice even has a name: “Scooped out” which I personally think should be changed to “Creeped Out.”

DECOY JEWS?

Here’s a controversial one. Holland is starting to use “decoy Jews” – undercover police wearing yarmulkes and other religious attire to uncover and stamp out anti-Semitic attacks in Amsterdam. The new strategy was the brainchild of Moroccan-born Parliament member, Ahmed Marcouch, after an incident involving Moroccan immigrants harassing a rabbi and children on the streets of Amsterdam. And Mayor Lodewijk Asscher is in full agreement, claiming that hate crimes against Jews are on the rise in the city and all must be done to “keep this phenomenon from growing.” “Decoys” or what we think of as going “undercover” is routinely used to counter other hate crimes. For example, police posing as frail, “grannies” has helped lower street crime. But cops in kippahs is a first – probably anywhere. Blasphemous or bold? Disrespectful or daring? Sacrilegious or savvy? Does the motive outweigh the method? You be the judge.

AND SPEAKING OF HATE CRIMES

One of the latest victim categories in Toronto, Canada is … are you ready? The "non-Jewish Shiksa." The term showed up in the latest hate crime study done by the Toronto Police Service. The Canadian Jewish Congress (CJC), which advocates for stronger hate crime laws, is definitely not pleased, calling this new class of victim “absurd." This gantseh megillah raises a few thorny questions: First, what exactly constitutes a “victim group?” And, what is the meaning of “shiksa” in today’s world? In media, it’s become kitchy slang. For example, Sharon Stone described herself as "the ultimate shiksa" in Basic Instinct, Sex and the City’s Charlotte was similarly described as a "shiksa goddess," and on Seinfeld, George explained Elaine’s “shiksa-appeal.”

“Non-Jewish Shiksas” a “victim group?” Call me when you see, “GO BACK TO SWEDEN, YOU BLOND, BLUE-EYED BEAUTY” scribbled on a construction site wall!

THE GREAT WAR?!

The tension mounted in the village of al-Fanar – site of failure or triumph! As the war played out, on-lookers knew the two groups were fighting for more than a title, more than the 12 tons of the precious substance they had created. Yes they (well, at least one side) were fighting for turf as they have for years. It was Israel vs. Lebanon once again this year, vying for gastronomic dominance in “Battle Hummus! The honor went to the Lebanese, whose 300 chefs whipped up 11.5 tons of the shared Middle Eastern delight, breaking the previous record set in January in the Arab-Israeli village of Abu Gosh. To get a sense of size, the ingredients which included 2 tons of tahini, 2 tons of lemon juice, and 154 lbs of olive oil – are equal to over 11 average family cars!

Ah, but the debate over “ownership” continues, as the Lebanese claim rights of “origin,” and have been seeking approval from the European Union to register hummus as a national dish, much like the Greeks and feta cheese. And their fight is more than glory. The Lebanese say that Israeli hummus, which they claim is based upon Lebanese recipes, is hurting their market share of the chick pea concoction worth $1 billion, globally.

Israelis pooh pooh the whole tsimmis saying that trying to copyright hummus is like trying to copyright bread or wine. The dish in question is a centuries old Arab creation and so what? No one “owns” hummus, which belongs to the entire region.

But this cold war may actually be warming individual Israeli-Arab relations. Go to any good hummus restaurant in the region, and you’ll find Israelis, Muslims, Jews and Palestinians sharing a table. One way to peace? Who knows? To quote the credo of Israeli, Shooky Galili, whose blog is devoted to all thing hummus: “Give chickpeas a chance."

WOULDJEW BELIEVE OL’ BLUE EYES TRIES TO MAKE TEN?

It was 71 years ago, in July of 1939, that Frank Sinatra released his first commercial record "From the Bottom of My Heart" with the Harry James band.

“So nu?” you may ask. “What does Sinatra, one of the most controversial, and powerful men in show business have to do with the Jews?"

Plenty. The Italian Catholic, who died in 1998, was a powerful friend to the Jewish people and the State of Israel. Throughout his life, and regardless of other questionable behavior, he nevertheless was committed to fighting anti-Semitism and to activism on behalf of Israel. In 1947, when big names were needed to rouse America into saving Europe's remaining Jews, he sang at an "Action for Palestine” rally. He also sat on the board of trustees of the Simon Wiesenthal Center, and donated over $1 million to Jerusalem’s Hebrew University (which was tragically bombed by terrorists in 2002, killing nine people).

As the result, his movies and records were banned in some Arab countries. There are many personal stories as well of Sinatra’s sacrifices for the Jewish people. Writer Sidney Zion, a well-known Broadway figure, was dining with Sinatra and mentioned he had trouble getting a minyan to say Kaddish for his father who had recently passed away. The next day, a limo pulled up at the synagogue and Ol’ Blue Eyes and his friend, Father Rooney, donned yarmulkes and joined the congregation for evening services. Religiously acceptable? For sure not. But it was typical of his unwavering support and affection for We Jews, personally and publicly.

Published: August 14, 2010


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Visitor Comments: 9

(9) Shiksa, August 20, 2010 3:17 AM

I don't know about 'victim group'...

I am a shiksa who is engaged to a nice Jewish boy, and one side of his family is not happy about it! So yes, I suppose I feel like I get treated badly by them, and it is discrimination - which is one of the causes of hate crimes! But I wouldn't really go so far as to say shiksas are a victim group in the usual use of the word - except for the fact that they're referred to as 'shiksas', which actually has its root in the word 'blemish'! Obviously a derogatory term when it's used in certain ways, especially when referring to a non-Jewish girl who has a Jewish boyfriend/husband by people who aren't happy with the situation. I understand the reasons behind the antagonism by some Jews towards girls in my situation (can't have Jewish babies, taking away a Jewish boy which means there's a Jewish girl with no husband somewhere, etc), but it's no reason to treat me badly! The definition of 'victim' is "a person that suffers harm from another or from some adverse act, circumstance", so I would say that shiksas who are discriminated against by their boyfriend's/husband's family and friends are victims. But then, I suppose that these family and friends could say they are victims of the shiksa... It's a complex issue. Anyway, my point - it probably doesn't really constitute a 'victim group' in the usual sense.

(8) Lorraine Glixon, August 18, 2010 9:30 PM

Where the best bagels really came from!

For more than 40 years, the best water bagels came from a little bagel bakery on Graham Avenue in Paterson, New Jersey. They were only four (4) inches in diameter and you didn 't have to scoop out the centers. They were all crust, and oh, so good. The staff of bakers were all local African Americans who worked for the owners from the time they were legally able to work until around 1968 when the widow of the owner was unable to continue the business..... She sent hundreds of dozens of bagels into New York City every Saturday night and early on Sunday mornings. The long lines around the business would wind around 2 city blocks...When she announced that the business was going to close the doors, she was offered huge amounts of money for the recipe for the dough, but refused to turn the recipe over to anyone. I remember her telling her sister, my friend, that the night she closed her door, she would burn the recipe, and she did. Paterson bagels have never been baked again and I have yet, at age 81, to taste the likes of them.

(7) Jim Kay, August 18, 2010 2:12 PM

New York Bagels in Taiwan

Nice to read about Brooklyn bagels but it can't be the water. There is a small chain here in Taipei by the name of N.Y. Bagels and their bagels are every bit as good as any I've eaten in Brooklyn. (OK, ALMOST any.)

(6) Margot, August 17, 2010 6:55 PM

Great read

Found Marnie today for the first time. Is there a Daily Marnie or do I have to wait to so hugely enjoy her column again?

(5) chaiah schwab, August 17, 2010 5:07 PM

good bumper sticker

If someone prints "Give Chickpeas A Chance" as a bumper sticker, let me know; I'll buy one and use it.

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